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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

3/11/10 (Thursday)

Cara was up in the night and threw up again, but it was a good time for me to feed Owen, so it all worked out. The whole family was up, and then the whole family was down! In the morning she woke up and put herself on the couch and actually was able to drink some water with no ill effects. Steve picked up some Gatorade (Cara was not excited until I explained that it was punch juice) before he went to work, and the three of us were on our own for the day.

Strangely, it was a very easy day for me. Owen was willing to sleep in his bouncer between feedings, and he was also happy and awake for some of the time. I actually managed to give him a bath, which he mostly enjoyed very much. Poor Cara, though she did come to watch Owen's bath, was feverish and limp and low maintenance. She stayed on the couch with the tv all day. I set up a little table next to her with some water, some Jell-o, punch juice, and Saltines, but she barely touched it. She had a few bites of Jell-o eventually, and she drank a little bit, but not much else. She was feverish, off and on, but no more gastric upset.

Before five we were all on the couch. Owen fell asleep in my arms. I was drowsy. "I'm almost asleep," said Cara. Soon she got up and turned off the tv. I started to wonder what I'd do with her, but she just sat there when she got back on the couch. Then she fell asleep. I took a nap, too, with my head at an awful angle, while it got darker outside.

It was after six when Owen decided we should get up. It was good, because it was quite dark by that time. I brought him upstairs with a bottle, but he went back to sleep with his popper and eventually Steve got home. We ate leftovers, Owen had his bottle, and Cara is still sleeping, curled up on the couch. In a while we'll have to figure out what to do with her.

The really sad part, which is very, very sad, is that tomorrow is Parents' Night Out at Yellow Brick Road. Last time, we didn't sign up and Cara was disappointed because she had to leave while other kids got to stay late and have fun at school. We signed her up for this one last week, and she's been talking about it a lot! She's told several people all about it. She's pretty sure that she'll be sleeping at school. It's meant an awful lot to her, and she doesn't know that she's going to miss it.

3/12/10 (Friday)

Last night we decided to take Cara up to bed. She woke up enough so that I could get her approval for this plan; I carried her upstairs, whereupon she asked me to read her stories. But once she was in bed, she curled up on her side and went right back to sleep. She slept until morning.

When Cara woke up, she seemed pretty well recovered--enough that she had pancakes for breakfast. It still seemed safest to keep her at home for another day. Meanwhile, I find that I have a strange desire to dress Owen. This morning I was determined to see whether he would fit into one of his cute "newborn" sized outfits. I chose the "Snugglesaurus." It did fit! I added a goofy hat, because he has so many of those, and Evie had me put some pants on him because the outfit was a bit light. I didn't feel particularly manly, but I was happy to see him in new clothes and I took some pictures.

Then I ran off to work while Evie once again took care of both children. She did call preschool, and surprisingly got the all-clear for Cara to go to Parents' Night Out! Of course, when the subject was brought up with Cara, she calmly decided that she didn't want to go after all. Evie pointed out the many good points of the event, and also how sad Cara had been the last time she missed one of these. By the time I got home from work to take her to Yellow Brick Road, Cara was all ready to go. She had her bag packed, her hair was in braids, and she started chatting with me about how she needed to put her gloves on, and she was going to wear a hat, too. On the way there, she told me about the pasta she was going to eat.

I didn't get to hear a whole lot about the Parents' Night Out afterwards, but I do know that they watched a Little People video and a Wiggles video. She may have made a crown. She did change into her pajamas.

Owen is a hungry little guy these days. It seems like he knocks back an endless chain of bottles. I'm sure that he'll be fitting in his three months size clothes any day now.

3/15/10 (Monday)

We just had quite a weekend!

On Saturday we had our first four-person family outing; we went down to Middletown for Grandpapa's belated birthday celebration. For the first time, Owen wore the cute red hat Aunt Sarah knitted for him. One of my favorite pictures of Cara is of her in her pink version, chewing on a toy and looking like a demented elf. I have similar hopes for this hat. At Grandmama's house, Owen got to meet GiGi and Aunt Theresa. He was a very good boy and slept nicely in his car seat between me and Cara during dinner, only needing to be rocked a few times. He got another present, this time from Grandpapa's coworker. The gifts have been rolling in at about three a week, and I'm astonished at the rate they're continuing. This one was a really cute and cuddly blanket. We like it a lot, but it brings his total number of cute blankets to 14 or 15, not, of course, counting receiving blankets. Storage is something of an issue. At the party, Grandmama showed Cara her World of Warcraft character. Somehow, Cara ended up making her own. From the other room, I could hear Grandmama taking "Leesta" out questing, killing whatever level ones kill. When I wandered in, Cara had gotten bored and decided that her lady had to go have a "nice fresh swim!"

It was raining very hard, and the wind was very strong. Steve said that he was glad that all three of the rest of us fell asleep on the ride home, because the Parkway bridge was scary. It was good that we left a little earlier than usual, because we made it home before dark. It was good to be home. It was good for about twenty minutes, and then the power went out. We had two good flashlights and lots of candles, and Owen sat with Steve in Cara's playroom while Cara played girls by candlelight.

We hadn't had dinner, so I dug out a lot of things that didn't need to be cooked and we had sort of a picnic in the dark kitchen. (I wasn't confident enough to turn on the stove and use a match to light a burner. Next time, I'll try it. Juliana says Jim said it was ok!) Somehow we ended up playing castle in the living room, Cara having taken the couch cushions off and made sort of a wall with a gate. Inside she'd built herself a chair and two beds out of cushions. We took turns arriving and saying "abre" to have the queen open the door. The guest was brought in, and then the queen and the guest both went to bed, after the queen gave the guest a big Hello Kitty doll to sleep with. We had to do this at least three times.

Across the gully we could see flashing emergency lights. From the front windows, we could see flashing emergency lights a block or so away. Cara did fine getting ready for bed, and I read to her with a flashlight. She went to sleep with one jar candle in her room, at which I nervously peeked every time I was up with Owen. Owen was not happy. He was a fussy, fussy baby. We tried putting him down, but it didn't work. Was it the flickering light? The lack of white noise? Whatever caused it, I ended up sleeping in the glider with him that night. The hard part was pumping, which I tried not to do too much, anyway, lest the battery should run out.

At six or so in the morning, when it was light out enough to see, Steve and I started packing. It was 61 degrees in the house. Outside, there were branches down and a tree across the gully was precariously diagonal (though it threatened only the woods around it). The stream was running high and fast. PSE&G predicted that the power would be back on by four in the afternoon on Tuesday, so we had to be prepared to be away for a while. I took a few things from the fridge, but I didn't mind losing the rest. What I worried about was the milk that takes up 2/3 of the freezer right now. We just didn't open the freezer and hoped for the best. Packing was difficult. Day trips with Owen will be, I think, pretty easy, but the thought of being away with him overnight was daunting. We finally got it together and got the play yard, the bouncer, the travel bed, the diaper bag, the pump, a bag of toys for Cara, and clothes for all of us into the trunk.

It was still raining. Sometimes it was raining fiercely. For a few minutes, we drove through hail. We made a brief stop at a Dunkin' Donuts, where I demonstrated to myself how paranoid I am about having Owen out in public. I really, really wish it were okay for us to, for instance, go to a restaurant and take him along, and I'd definitely love to show him off, but I find that I'm terrified to even have strangers look at him!

It was noon by the time we got down to Grandmom's house in Sewell. The clocks had changed last night, so it's hard to say what time it felt like. It was strange to remember that it was Owen's first time there! Rusty was very, very excited, of course, but eventually he calmed down and was probably actually a little scared of Owen. Owen was good all day; he enjoyed being held by everyone and even slept for a while in his bouncer inside of the play yard, to keep Rusty at bay. Cara was also very good. She and Grandmom got out the Legos, some of which I'd never seen before. There was a kitchen set with a family, and Cara had a great time setting them all up at their table. She also arranged some vehicles, mainly to be driven by a strange person with the head of a bear or raccoon, and they all had to have as many seats for small children as possible.

In the evening, we heard that there was a truck on Nancy Circle, with flashing lights and a bucket going up and down, and the electricity might be fixed! In the meantime, Cara had a bath in which the little Fisher Price people, all two dozen or so of them, had a lot of diving contests. She got into a clean shirt and cuddly pants, as we had neglected to pack her pajamas. I figure we remembered a lot of other things, so it's not too bad. When we heard from Em and Juliana that the power was back on, we laboriously packed up all of our things and set out to head home! It was late, but it seemed like the smartest thing to do, thinking of the future. Five minutes into the trip, we heard from Em and Juliana that the power was off again! Now, Cara had already had two opportunities that day to display her knack for noticing that the car was turning around unexpectedly. Every time I have to make a K-turn, she asks me what I'm doing and then why. We called Grandmom and Grandpop, and then Cara got to ask us what we were doing. We were turning around and going back to Grandmom's house, because our power was out again. Cara cheered. We were halfway back when we heard from Em and Juliana that the power was back on. At that point, though, with things so uncertain, we stayed turned around.

Owen's first night away from home, not counting those six weeks in the NICU, was not too bad. He slept in the play yard, near the fold-out couch that Steve and I shared. He was up his regular two times, and he only had a hard time getting back to sleep once. After I'd put his popper back in a few times, I gave him an extra blanket. Then he was happy.

At some time in the morning, still somewhat confused by the time change, we set out once again to come home. It was still raining. The traffic lights were all working again, which was heartening. Coming home to heat and lights was wonderful! Still, we had less than an hour before Steve planned to leave for work, and we had a fridge full of untrustworthy food. There was a boil water advisory, and we had no water to drink. Owen was awake.

Today, according to her facebook page, is Puma's birthday! Cara has decided that Puma is two; I think she's really three. I asked Cara whether she'd like to come with me to the supermarket, and I suggested that she could pick out something for Puma. It worked! Off we went. Of course, then we had to get something for Puma. We ended up with a Barbie cake decoration to put on the brownies we'd decided to make later. I felt that that was far better than the stuffed animals Cara had also considered.

Steve ended up staying home, because things were sort of messed up at work, too, due to power issues. We got a lot done, including baking that birthday brownie cake for Puma, who really seemed touched. We cleaned out the fridge, which we both enjoyed doing, and we checked the freezer. The milk survived! The bottles of milk, had been standing up when they were frozen and then had been stacked on their sides; we'd have been able to tell if they'd thawed. The milk hadn't gone horizontal! Owen was somewhat crabby. I typed most of this with him sleeping in my lap, unwilling to be put down. Still, he may not have trouble at night. The one who had the most difficult evening, perhaps, was Shelby Foote, who likes to climb onto the lap of whoever is using the computer. The challenge ahead for the night is how to wash the pump stuff and bottles without using the water. Tomorrow afternoon, if all goes well, that issue will become a thing of the past!

3/16/10 (Tuesday)

Last night was delightful. Owen was no problem. He was up at one and then at quarter to five. Then the power went out. I used a match to light a burner under a big pot of water, which boiled while I pumped. I boiled my pump parts. The lights came back on. They went off. They came back on. Steve got up early and had showered with a flashlight, so we had a nice early breakfast with power on. It stayed on until after Steve and Cara had left. The high point of the morning was getting a call from the water company to say that the water had tested clean. Then the power went out. Fortunately, Steve had long since stopped reprogramming all of the clocks. Owen and I had an appointment with an audiologist, so we actually had to leave the house! On the way we saw that two nearby traffic lights were out, so I figured that the power would come back on when they were repaired.

Going to the audiologist was an adventure. Of course people saw Owen and thought he was cute; I'm torn by loving that and being scared because people might have germs. I think I'm going a little overboard. I had forms to fill out, of course. These were actually cool ones. Instead of asking me to write down the insurance account number that's on the card they photocopied, they asked for actual information about Owen. For instance, does he process information better in verbal or written form? What grade is he in? Some came closer to being relevant, such as what developmental milestones has he reached? Any delays? So far, Owen's really been kind of too busy to reach any milestones!

I liked the woman we worked with. She explained a few things. In the hospital, Owen was given an antibiotic that can potentially cause hearing loss. He only had it for four days, though, and five is where they start to be concerned. The damage can turn up as late as six months, so we'll definitely be following him up later on. We'll be able to do different kinds of tests then, too.

Doing Owen's hearing test was a little bit like the way I dress Owen. I put the legs in position and wait for him to kick in the right direction. Today, we left Owen in his carrier, asleep, and waited for him to hold still and be quiet. Apparently, there's a neurotransmitter or something that makes us lie still when asleep. That's not really something Owen seems to have going on a lot of the time! The audiologist stuck a sensor into his right ear first. I'm pretty sure that's the one that failed in the hospital, but it passed today. When she'd gotten him to turn his head, she tried the left ear. For once, Owen's hand was his friend. He knocked the sensor out. It took some doing to get the left ear tested, and it was a "not pass." She never said "fail."

Next we went into another room; this one was clearly a very highly insulated testing bunker with a fancy door. The test was to see how his ear drum was moving. She held the sensor in his ear, and I got to push the button! The first three times we tried this, Owen got loud (while sleeping) and the results were meaningless. The next dozen times, the machine wasn't able to find his ear drum. "Occluded," it said. By then he'd woken up. We decided we'd prodded him enough. Tomorrow afternoon, Owen and I will go back and try again. The audiologist didn't say to worry. Em says not to worry.

Owen and I got takeout for lunch and then he cried while I pumped and then we spent the afternoon napping on the couch with Shelby, not answering the phone, not putting the laundry away, and not cleaning up the kitchen. It was a little disheartening that those things didn't get done. It was a beautiful day outside, though, so after I picked up Cara the three of us went and played outside, playing tag around the stroller. In a way we got nothing done, but in another way, we got some important things taken care of.

Owen got fussy this evening. I think we can claim that he has small bouts of colic. Poor Steve keeps ending up with him during them! Fortunately, he has a thing that he does that helps. He sort of flies Owen up and down, and that quiets him. So far.

Cara is drawing a book. She wanted me to draw a castle, and I told her to do it herself. She claimed not to know how, so I pointed out the basics, which she's seen done lots of times. She's drawn a castle. It has two towers, one with a shape that turned out like a block letter 4 and one like a C. "It's a 4C castle!" There's a hill going down to it and some girls walking on it. She's really coming along as an artist. The other day, Steve drew Batman. Cara got the next page in the pad, and she drew Batgirl. She clearly imitated some of the things she'd seen Steve do on his picture.

This evening, since it had been so nice out, Cara chose a thin, light nightgown to wear. She got chilly, so I suggested she put on a pajama shirt over it. She did. Her legs were still chilly, so she put on pajama pants under it. After she'd gotten in bed she got too warm and took off at least the shirt, but it was pretty funny while it lasted.

3/17/10 (Wednesday)

One issue I hadn't really foreseen: when people ask how old Owen is, I'm really not at all sure what to tell them. My first instinct is to explain his gestational vs. real age. I think I need to just tell them he's eight weeks and forget about it. That'll take concentration, though! Once in a while I peek at lists of developmental milestones. I'm not really sure where to look. It's partly a little liberating and partly just frustrating.

Our trip back to the audiologist was not productive. The woman we'd seen yesterday was out sick. She had been going to talk to the NICU and get Owen's information. In her absence, someone else ran the same tests that we'd done yesterday, with the same results. The ear drum was occluded. She also tried the first test again, since he was very nice and quiet. Yesterday, he'd been somewhat restless once we got to his left ear. Again, he didn't pass. She tried it several times, because, except for the first shot, it didn't say pass or not pass, it was somehow unable to complete the test. They'd used the same equipment on other people earlier, so it wasn't broken. She looked at his tiny little ear canal, which has a slight bend to it. We'd thought maybe it had a big bend, which would confuse the machinery. It looks clear, though. We had to give up. The first woman will call me when she's in again so that we can discuss how to proceed. She may want to let him grow for a few weeks and then test him again.

Em has had a theory that Owen controls the weather. Since he arrived, the weather has been astonishingly and dramatically awful. I have a theory, though, that he really, really likes hospitals. He has the power to make things be complicated and take a far longer time than they ought, because he wants to stay. He lollygagged in the NICU for over six weeks. Now he's gone for two hearing tests instead of one, and he's going to get more later!

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. Cara told a story about how Miss Kathy at preschool had been standing in the kitchen or somewhere and had heard a "thump." Obviously it was leprechauns! The eventual result was that Cara got a gold foil wrapped coin made of chocolate, which she had given back to Miss Kathy because she doesn't really like chocolate, and Miss Kathy eventually gave it to Emily because Emily's chocolate was scrunched up. Cara also got a little shamrock sticker which ended up on her boot. More evidence of the holiday celebration may present itself as the days go by.

When I got home it was actually still light outside and the rest of the family was out on the front lawn. Cara and I wandered to the back yard and noticed some deer were wandering by. Cara laughed loudly at them (her standard method for attracting the attention of strangers), and they looked at us. Rather than run off, which was what I thought they'd do, one or two actually crossed the stream and got closer to us. None of them went up the hill to try to eat food out of our hands or anything, but they were curious and not very afraid, which was cool. We waved at the deer and said friendly things like "Deeeer!" Cara kept suggesting I throw sticks at them.

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