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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

1/31/08 (Thursday)

When I arrived to pick Cara up, she ran into my arms and burst into tears. Susan reports that she had a fine day! Cara offered no explanation for her distress, but she did very much want to see her grandmama. She wanted to go to Grandmama's house, adamantly. She wanted Grandmama to come to her house. We would play Play Doh. Grandmama would like that very much. There was a lot of wailing any time I told her she would get to see Grandmama tomorrow. This lasted for rather a while.

We went to the supermarket, because Cara wanted to have a banana and we had none at home. That was fun. Cara walked, holding my hand, and chattered away. We bought goldfish crackers, too, and Cara inexplicably selected an avocado. I did the self check-out, and Cara found some scraps of paper on the counter. She identified them correctly as trash and insisted on throwing them away.

On the way home we discussed the snack we would have. Banana? Goldfish? Cara uttered what was, for me, a magic word: Cheetos. We have some, which I got for Christmas, and we haven't touched them in weeks. We'd better make sure they're not stale or anything. We had a very pleasant, if not particularly prudent or healthy, half hour when we got home. We sat in the kitchen and shared some Cheetos and goldfish. Cara charmed me by finding shapes in the Cheetos and by talking to them. They talked, too. One was even a dinosaur who roared!

Cara also had half a banana (which did not, to my knowledge, speak), and then she did not eat a particularly good dinner. Oh well! She did try a little of the avocado, which she didn't really enjoy. Steve got her onto the potty, and she was loudly upset because she did not get another prize. We did, for the first time this week, make it through an evening at home without any accidents.

Cara found a bag of my gym clothes, which she was anxious for me to put on. I was eating dinner, so I did not leap at the chance. Steve suggested that Cara should put them on herself. She was not interested in that, but she went to work at something. When we came out to the living room later, we found my pants and sweatshirt laid out carefully on the floor, just like Cara likes her footie pajamas laid out before she gets into them!

Cara continues to torment the blonde Polly Pocket girl with the braid. She ostracizes her and likes to make her cry. After doing that, this evening, however, she played nicely with her for a while and then lay her in the tower of the castle. She softly told her to go to sleep and then gave her a kiss. It was lovely.

2/1/08 (Friday)

Cara's hysterical need for Grandmama yesterday was easily explained: in the morning, Daddy had told her that she would be going to Grandmama's house today and that Grandmama would be picking her up. Cara has no real sense of time, so there is no such thing as tomorrow; it is all today and now. She expected Grandmama to be picking her up yesterday, not me.

Today, poor Steve figured it would be okay to discuss it again, since it would be today this time. He explained to Cara why he was putting her things in bags. When he then brought her not to Middletown but to Susan's house, the distress was very great. It was so loud and dramatic that Susan even told me about it when I went to get Cara.

It was okay with Cara that I picked her up, since I told her right away that we were going to Grandmama's. We rode down with Puma in Cara's lap, and we chatted for most of the way. Everyone was happy to see Cara when we arrived, and they were all having a nice dinner of macaroni and cheese when I left.

2/2/08 (Saturday)

We made sure that Cara got home early today because, thanks to Em, we were all going to gymnastics! Grandmama and Grandpapa had talked it up, so Cara was thrilled. She told us about it as soon as she got home. She and I got into the car, and we followed our neighbors; the drive is very easy, and I think this must be the best-located place for us. It's really only about ten minutes. The class for PJ and Cara is at nine, so we'll be starting our Saturdays earlier from now on!

In the gym there were plenty of other kids coming in and taking off their coats and shoes. Cara took her shoes off, too, and I put them in a cubby. She was ready to head out onto the mats, but I got her to stay near me until the class started. The teacher greeted her and off she went with the other kids; it feels really really funny when she does that. It's wonderful that she's so confident and so ready to do things on her own, but I still feel a little bit torn when she just doesn't need me. She really doesn't, either. I think I heard her call "mommy!" once, and I got nervous when her group was near me, thinking she might care, but she really didn't. She was amazing.

First all the little kids, about twenty of them, got together in a big circle with all the teachers, and they did warm-ups. This involved some jumping and some hands up in the air and I'm not sure what else. PJ had decided he was not interested, so Em and I were a little distracted; she brought him into the class, which enabled her to get some close-up pictures, and I retrieved Casey, who was still on the floor in the entrance working on taking her shoes off. She and I sat on some mats for most of the class, playing with one of Cara's tiny girls in a tiny car.

Next the class broke up into little groups. PJ and Cara and three other kids were with two young women who took them on a trampoline, which was built into the floor. The kids sat on a mat and took turns jumping. First they just jumped, and then the teacher showed them some fancy things to try to do. They all sort of did them. I got to see Cara get down on her hands and knees and then bounce onto her tummy; I think she liked that part. PJ had detached from Em by now, and of course he did really well; he's a gymnast by nature, we can tell! It was really funny to see then all sitting together, waiting for their turns. They liked the mats; Cara did some fooling around on them, falling over backwards and sticking her legs into the air.

It seemed like they were there for a long time, but they also got to do some floor exercises. Each kid was walked through a little routine about three times: it involved doing a somersault (with a lot of assistance), down a wedge-shaped mat, then jumping along the floor, then doing a headstand (with a lot of assistance), then walking along on top of a mat, and then doing a cartwheel (with a lot of assistance).

Finally they moved to the balance beams, which were basically on the floor. The kids all took turns being walked along them by the teachers; most kids went sideways first, and on the next go-round the teacher showed them how to put their legs out far in front, like a little goose-step, and really walk on the balance beam! At the very end, they all got stamps on their hands.

Em came back to bring PJ into Casey's class, which had begun in another room, and Cara waited nicely while I filled out the form to sign us up for classes. It's definitely going to be a great part of our week!

Cara and I headed down to the mall so that I could buy jeans. I also promised her a treat, basically to bribe her into being patient. I was remembering how much more difficult everything used to be! She held my hand and walked all the way into the mall and across it, then let me pick out some clothes and try them on. She walked all the way back across the mall. I took her into a bulk candy place and discovered that they had miniature gummy bears, which were a big hit. I got a small scoop, which cost a highly reasonable 45 cents (I can't find the "cents" symbol on the keyboard. I've never looked before!). They were a big, big hit. A big hit. We were going to bring some home to show Daddy, but none made it. Cara even let me try on more clothes and then pay for them, and we stopped on the way out of the mall to pick up a special present we saw for someone. She was fabulous.

After Cara's nap, PJ and Casey came over for the evening. I got Cara to clean up her girls, lest Casey should put some tiny parts into her mouth. Cara picked up her little enamel box with two giraffes on it, which contains another tiny giraffe. She announced that she wanted to show it to Casey. She talked about that for a few minutes, and then we saw PJ and Casey and their parents crossing the street. Cara stuffed the box under a pillow on the couch: "I going to hide this from Casey!" I asked whether she hadn't just said she would show it to her. We went back and forth a couple of more times, and Cara took it out and ran to the door, calling Casey. When they came in both kids were distracted instantly by toys, but Cara definitely did her best to show Casey that box and baby giraffe.

I hear that the other day at Susan's, when Casey was getting changed, she gave Cara Lion to hold for her. I think they are sort of starting to be friends, which is what we all predict will happen as they all get older.

We had a good evening. We played Play Doh, and we played doctor. We jumped in the ball pit, and we cooked in the play kitchen. We got out old toys, and we played with new toys. We ate an entire pizza and a little bit of the next one. The kids ate four or five bananas. That was mostly Casey. Cara went on the potty. Everyone washed their hands. Cara and PJ went to sleep in her crib. We didn't turn on the TV. Altogether, this was a great day.

2/3/08 (Sunday)

The Giants won the superbowl! We had an altogether pleasant day, capped by a superbowl party in Middletown. Cara ran around and was charming, even, at the end, offering my dad's friend Clem a crayon and making him draw. This was after being a little shy of him all evening, of course. She made Grandmama play a lot, and I think that, among us, we managed to keep her happy the whole time. She ate more cupcakes than she ought, of course, and I had put blue icing on them for the Giants, so she turned her face blue. She still eats the tops first, and she tried to get me to give her a second one while the bottom half of the first was sitting in front of her.

Cara hadn't napped, and we left Grandmama's house past 9:30, so she slept well in the car. She stayed pretty sleepy while Steve carried her in, waking up enough to ask where we were while we took her coat and shoes off. We turned on only her night light in her room and put her down in her clothes with her blanket and Puma. It's our best transfer ever!

2/4/08 (Monday)

Everyone had a good day at Susan's. Sometimes they're cleaning up when I arrive, and Cara, after giving me a big hug, says, "Mommy, we have to clean up all this stuff!" Then we do. She's a good cleaner.

We did some errands before we came home. We went to an office supply store, where I looked for things for work and ended up buying only watercolor paper for Cara. She ran all over the store and had a good time.

I think that what Cara wants me to do every night when I get home is drop everything I'm holding, run to her, and catch her in my arms. Sometimes I give her the satisfaction, like tonight. We did some good playing with the girls, who can have interesting adventures with the Playmobil people and creatures. Mommy heated up some dinner for us and we went upstairs to eat.

Now every other time I can remember in the past few days that Cara has finished her dinner and rushed downstairs, within a matter of seconds she has peed. So tonight, Mommy (with excellent reflexes) immediately got Cara upstairs after dinner and stuck her on the potty. Of course, nothing happened. It was only a few minutes later, when Cara got herself downstairs again, that she announced that she had made pee-pee. Sure enough, though I ran downstairs and carried her up to the potty, it was too late.

But, Cara did get on the potty earlier in the afternoon, and I think we are inching ever closer to that magical moment when she will "get it." We had cupcakes for dessert--each of us had one, and only one, even against Cara's loud protests. Then we played with Play-doh for a little. Many bears were made. Our new, slightly earlier bedtime routine flew into action at 7:45 (or thereabouts), when I started a bubble bath. Cara and I had a nice time playing with sharks and mermaids and frogs and turtles. The sharks like very much to find each other and peek out from the bubbles, and Cara's shark is almost constantly getting trapped under her legs, needing to be rescued. Sometimes the other shark can rescue him, but at other times it requires special help from the mermaid.

The Big Book is back as the book of choice. There are worse alternatives. The other day at naptime I got convinced into showing Cara the First Thousand Words book, which is basically a series of big pictures with lots of identifying words around the edge. It's a wonderful book, but there is no way you can "read" it all in one sitting, so you are forced to end it before you're done--not a good way to start a nap. The Big Book is huge but has self-contained stories--such as "The Always Hungry Visitors," which for some reason Cara really wanted to see tonight. It's about a trio of vagabonds who knock at Mother Bear's door and get a jar of jam to eat. Then they take a nap. The End.

2/5/08 (Tuesday)

Cara and I went and voted after I picked her up. Susan had talked to the kids about voting, so Cara was very ready. She did eventually think to ask questions about what it all meant, to which I gave her answers she could not possibly understand but which she was willing to repeat incredulously: "The pwesident?" She naturally charmed the poll workers, who talked to her but got no answers. I suggested to her that she could say good-bye to them, but she was too caught up in thoughts of her civic duty.

"My" girl is the one with the blonde braid, and she's been an outcast for a long time. I've struggled against it, but that's how it's been. In the past few days, though, she's the one who's been carried around the most. Interesting. I thought of it as a positive development. In the car, though, Cara told me that my girl was an old woman. I believe that that was the exact phrase the used. I'm not sure why the girl has become old. I'm hoping it's not permanent.

We played girls for a while, and then we went upstairs to paint. Now that we have good paper, it's a convenient activity! It's very interactive, though. Cara needs an adult to paint with her, preferably one who follows directions well. It's fun to paint things and let Cara color them in.

After dinner, Cara started to get a little hyper while playing with Daddy. Tigger, Pooh, and Eeyore took a joyride in the girls' car, apparently with the permission of the owner, who was off being naked with the other girls. I chased them back and forth; Cara finally hid behind Daddy. My big mistake, I think, happened a few minutes later.

Cara started to want things that I did not want her to want, like the jigsaw puzzles I have in a cabinet down there. To distract her, I suggested that we dance to the loud song. Yes! I put it on repeat and Cara and I held hands and ran around and around and around. We also jumped up and down. Steve joined us and had to join right in. Cara was absolutely hysterical; I do think it's just as good as a trip to Chuck E Cheese!

It was pretty difficult to get her into the bath. In the car earlier, Cara had suggested that we skip the bath, to give her more time with her girls. We got her in anyhow, and we got her out, and I read to her. While I was reading, her feet couldn't stop moving. She tried all the tricks she could come up with to get to stay up. I finally had to put her down, but it was tough. She did NOT want to go to sleep.

2/6/08 (Wednesday)

So yesterday morning I showed Cara her leftover pink donuts, but she still insisted on having toast. I was flabbergasted. This morning Cara asked for a cupcake. I made a deal with her: she could have a cupcake for breakfast if I could eat her donuts (they were getting stale anyway). We both got what we wanted.

Evie had to work late today so I left early to pick up Cara. When I came in, I heard Cara saying that she thought she heard her Daddy, and she ran out to hug my leg. Susan said, "Cara must have gone to the bathroom fifteen times today." I thought this meant that she had diarrhea, but in fact what happened was this: whenever anyone said they had to go to the potty, Cara decided she had to go to. She did apparently manage to squeeze out a few drops most of the time. She is definitely into sitting on the potty--she makes me put her on in the mornings also. The only hurdle she needs to get over is knowing when she really has to go.

Cara made a cute little thing called a "love bug" (though it looks very much like a bird) today, and she insisted on kissing it when Susan showed it to me. It is a clothespin with a feather, eyes and a beak. It has a magnet on the back so it is on the fridge door now.

I asked Cara whether she wanted to go to the library, and she was very excited about it, so that's where we went. The first thing she wanted to do, which she talked about before we even got there, was play with puzzles. The kids' section has lots of wooden puzzles and we did a few before Cara got bored and decided she actually wanted to look at books. We did that for a while and then I coaxed Cara upstairs to the big person section so that I could get a book on tape. Then we went back down. In both directions we took the elevator. Cara got to push the buttons most of the time and always jumped over the crack between the elevator car and the floor.

Back downstairs, the kids' section had really emptied out and we had the kiddie computer to ourselves. The games on it seemed to be different than I remembered, but we found one that was really perfect for Cara. You get a little basket and there are four animals on the screen. The basket shows two little eyes peeking out and makes a baby animal noise. You have to match it with its parent. So basically we were helping babies find their mommies, something Cara talks about all the time. We played that several times before I could convince Cara that we were hungry and had to go home and have dinner.

We weren't home for too long before Mommy arrived, too! We had a nice rest of the evening playing with girls and coloring, and watched just one episode of Curious George before Cara got into her bath--which is where she is right now.

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