| Previous Week | Back Home | Next Week |

Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

2/7/08 (Thursday)

I made a nice dinner for our delayed playdate this week, and Cara kept herself beautifully occupied the whole time! She happened upon something I got her to keep her happy during the superbowl party, an activity book with a "magic" marker that makes pictures appear on empty pages and turns gray-scale pictures into color ones. She went to work. She concentrated on making pictures appear, which she can almost do on her own. This takes a lot of scribbling, so I'm very proud. I helped her a little. Next, she got a regular black marker and colored the whole picture in, rendering it completely unrecognizable as a picture at all.

She brought the book into the kitchen while I cooked, along with a green marker, and continued with her great work, creating pictures and then destroying them. Every picture was of Mickey Mouse. As soon as he started to appear, she said, "I think it's Minnie!" Then it wasn't. That wasn't why she markered them out of existence, though, she was just coloring.

PJ, Casey, and Em came over! They brought juice boxes, which were a big hit. We were going to drink them with dinner, which helped get everyone to come to the table. After we ate, Em took PJ upstairs for a new diaper, and Cara went, too. We could hear them all chatting up there. When I went up, Em and PJ were in the glider looking at a book. Where was Cara?

I looked around and finally noticed her in her crib, covered up, carefully pretending to be asleep by regulating her breathing, smiling and looking up at me. "Mommy, you have to get out of my room," she told me. "Are you asking me?" I replied, still dedicated to my ask-not-tell parenting campaign. "Mommy, will you get out of my room?" she asked, using her Asking Voice. Her Asking Voice comes out in situations in which she is made aware of the need to ask nicely. It is very tiny and high-pitched and is clearly the cutest thing she can imagine. I was glad Em finally got to hear it!

Casey and Steve came up, too. We had a one-to-one ratio! Cara stood up, but she insisted that Em get her out. Then Em had to read to her. I changed Casey, and Steve showed PJ the Big Book, which he remembers from last week because of its pictures of trucks and trains. Next Em changed Cara (Cara insisted), I read to Casey, and Steve and PJ stuck with the trains.

Cara eventually went to join in with the Big Book, but she had to run away screaming when she wanted to turn a page and PJ wouldn't let her. She came back soon enough, having finally had a taste of her own medicine.

2/8/08 (Friday)

Today was a good potty day. Cara did a very good job at Susan's and, at the risk of ruining the dramatic effect, managed to keep on the same diaper that Susan had given her for the whole rest of the evening--it stayed dry!

It was Friday Fun Night, which we decided to spend at the mall rather than Chuck E. Cheese, to avoid spreading Cara's germs--she has a bit of a cold. At the mall it was as if she had no cold at all--she was thrilled to be there and happy to meet me at our usual meeting place, near the sporting goods store. At Cara's urgent request we went right off to the carousel, where for some reason Cara decided to ride on one of the bench or sleigh-shaped seats rather than on a horse. Near the end of the ride she changed her mind but by then it was too late. We had a good run, though, and then went off to get dinner.

Mommy had driven Cara straight from Susan's and so did not have a good supply of restaurant distraction toys. We decided it might be better to eat somewhere where we could get our food quickly. In the pizzeria, however, Cara definitively wanted macaroni and cheese. The only place we could get that was Friendly's, so off we went.

Cara went into the ladies' room three times at Friendly's. She really wanted to go with me--I think going into the men's room with me has become part of the ritual of going to Friendly's for her. However since actual potty usage was happening, Mommy convinced Cara to come with her. The first trip was productive--Cara made pee-pee! The second trip was not productive, but on the third trip Cara actually pooped on the potty!

Our food came at very convenient times, usually arriving during one of Cara's bathroom visits, so we had no problem with impatience, and even had time to order ice cream. Cara kept pointing at various ice cream items on the kids' menu, so we ended up ordering two little sundaes, which Mommy shared with her. Cara had been so good today on the potty that Mommy suggested she get a special prize at the Playmobil store. This sounded like fun to me, and Cara was definitely agreeable.

She had a great time at the store, as always, and we purchased a little egg for her. The egg contained a fairy girl with wings and a magic wand, flowers, bunnies, and a deer. All in an egg! It was a hit, but Cara was actually more interested in playing with the airport set-up at the store. It was very hard to get her out, but we did it. She was a very good and happy girl today.

2/9/08 (Saturday)

This was our second gymnastics class morning. Mommy made a nice breakfast of eggs and bacon and Cara had some eggs and some toast, and then we all got in cars to go there. It was my first time watching the class and it was a lot of fun. Cara and PJ really enjoyed themselves--some of the things they got to do I wish I could have tried myself, especially the trampoline bit. PJ is more confident with most of the moves, but Cara managed to hold her own. She really liked to "freeze," which is what the instructors say when a kid's turn has ended. Then she got to give a high five to the instructor, which she also enjoyed very much.

When the class was over, Mommy departed in her own car for Lady Day, and Cara and I drove back home through some light snow. Very fortunately my parents had called in the morning, so we were able to tell Cara that her Grandma and Grandpa were coming!

We did a lot of playing with Cara's girls today. That and the Playmobil people were the main attractions. Also Grandpa did a lot of coloring on the coloring castle. Cara got some very nice Valentine's Day gifts from her grandparents: some M&Ms, some lollipops (which she liked very much; it was hard to keep her to just two for the day), and a biiiig book full of interesting matching games, mazes, and word exercises. Later in the afternoon Cara had me flip through it and she wanted to see all the pictures of "girls." This is a somewhat new development--girls were her only interest and they had to be pointed out or counted.

For lunch we went out to a restaurant and Cara sat in a chair just like the rest of us. As is usual I thought we would take along some toys, so I gave her a bag before we left and asked her to put some toys in it. This was a mistake. She determinedly packed almost her entire collection of girls and accessories before we could convince her to stop. Fortunately at the restaurant she was fine coloring the kid's menu (or rather, ordering us to color it) until the food came, and only got out a few little things when she was done eating. She had a pretty big meal, eating most of her grilled cheese, most of my mother's breadsticks, and about half of my poor mother's soup.

Potty trips were few in number today--I think Cara decided I would be easy to get around. Whenever I asked her she always said she didn't want/need to go. I did manage to shoo her upstairs before lunch and she peed a little bit. Later in the afternoon she actually said she had to go to the potty, and we had a success there. But there were also several wet diapers.

Cara did not get her nap today, and she does have a little bit of a cold, so I think she must have been quite tired in the afternoon. But she still managed to show my parents how to dance along to "The Loud Song." She got Grandma to swing her around in a circle, and we had to listen to the song (which, by the way, is only 52 seconds long, and very repetitive even for that span of time) several times before we could stop. Cara also decided, perhaps because of her recent fairy Playmobil acquisition, that she wanted to get into her fairy costume. She spent a lot of time talking in a sing-song voice about what was going on or about other things--a few times throughout the day I heard her sing something about "I don't know anything."

After Grandma and Grandpa left, I was feeling quite tired myself. We played girls for a while and then I gave up and asked Cara if she wanted to watch TV. It turns out she did! We watched some George, then she got bored and went downstairs. Eventually we had dinner--Cara had some leftover soup and a leftover juice box, and ate a few pieces of meat out of my leftover hoagie. She had decided she was cold and was wearing a reversible jacket she'd found in her closet. By the end of dinner it was soaked with soup and she took it off, finding with amazement afterwards that the shirt she was wearing underneath was not wet at all!

I wanted to watch a movie and eat popcorn after that, but Cara and I could not agree on what we would watch. I was willing to watch Cinderella, but Cara wanted to watch her Baby Einstein video with zebra puppets, which is really for infants. We ended up playing girls some more downstairs, and then had a few more George episodes before the bedtime routine kicked in. She did get to see Mommy a bit before going to bed, which was nice!

2/10/08 (Sunday)

Cara's new Playmobil fairy is being very kind and sharing her things with the other inhabitants of the dollhouse. In particular, they enjoy trying on her wings, which actually attach to a cape that snaps on around their necks. This poses a problem for those with longer hair, but several are able to wear the wings and they have in fact been observed flying. One man tried to put the cloak on, though, and his hair came off. Fortunately for him, it's easy to snap it back on.

Cara and I went out this morning to buy pull-ups and Valentines. It was cold! It was windy! We persevered. Cara rode in the shopping cart at BJ's. I'm not sure when the last time I put her in a cart was; I just know that today it was really hard to lift her high enough to get her feet through the foot-holes! We bought several very useful things, and I also selected a package of 55 washable thin markers in a huge variety of colors. Cara held it as we made the rest of our selections.

We ended up at Target for Valentines. Cara found many things she liked very much. The cards we finally chose were Littlest Pet Shop, which I'm fairly sure no one else will have. They came with candy hearts to include, which I was sure would be really nasty. (Actually, I tried one this evening and they are quite good! I would like another one; I'm glad we have lots of leftovers.) Cara also found a tiny sack of colorful heart-shaped erasers. She fell absolutely in love with them and carried them all the way to the checkout and then all the way to the car.

At home, we had several challenges lined up: we had to detach Cara from her Valentine-related objects, we had to get her to eat lunch, and we had to put her down. It was somewhat difficult. I got out her new markers and a card to color to send to someone, and that actually kept her very happy. Susan said on Friday that Cara's starting to get the hang of writing her name, and she sort of tried it on the card. She makes a nice backwards C.

Cara ignored her own lunch, pretty much, and ran off to play. To get her to give up on the new stuff we wanted her not to have, Steve bribed Cara with a lollipop. That worked, but we soon realized the flaw: lollipops take a long time! She was still active when our lunch, nachos with leftover taco meat in them, was ready. She joined us. She still had her lollipop in one hand, but with the other she wound up eating chunks of taco meat with her hands. Oy. It was a good lunch, though!

Naptime started late and ended quite late; I woke her up around five, with a lot of effort. She got a potty prize right away. I asked her whether she wanted a dollhouse prize or a girl prize, and she chose dollhouse and got a dog with a dog house. She was happy, but she did test to see what would happen if she decided she wanted a girl prize instead.

We showed her that it had snowed; we got a dusting on the grass. She immediately wanted to go play in it! We put on our boots, scarves, gloves, hats, and coats, and we went out. We ran around the tree once, and then Cara decided, thank goodness, that it was cold enough to go in! I drew things out a little with a trip out back, where Daddy and I put the cover back on the grill, and then we went inside and took off our coats, hats, gloves, scarves, and boots. Then we had hot chocolate.

I had forgotten something important. I got out some goldfish crackers. Cara took a handful and dumped then into her mug, where she ate them like soup. It went on and on. She made very little progress with the actual drink. It was terrible but in another way really kind of okay. Of course, it also made Cara not really eat much of the very nice dinner that I made!

We basically had a really nice day playing in the house. Cara eventually got us to open up her little sack of hearts, which she lined up meticulously and counted: sixteen. I counted them: sixteen! It's got to be a coincidence. Well, those hearts live up to their potential. They are sixteen stupid erasers, but they're apparently a lot of fun. You can line them up, you can stack them, you can stand them up, you can pick them all up at once, and you can talk about their colors. There's a lot to do. Steve and Cara did it all. The original plan was to give them away with Valentines, but now I'm not sure we'll be able to.

2/11/08 (Monday)

Cara and her daddy had a very pleasant morning, possibly partly because Cara woke up very, very early. In fact, she was up around four, when I cuddled her, changed her, and put her back down. By six thirty, she was awake again in her crib and very cheerful. She had some pancakes and colored in the activity book her grandmom gave her for Valentine's. Steve described her as "happy and goofy."

She had a great day at Susan's playing with her friends, and Susan reports great potty progress, too. Cara can get on and off by herself and even wipe herself. Theoretically, she could try that at home, too.

This was both a great evening and a horrible one. It was great because I got to do a lot more actual playing with Cara than I usually do. We did a lot with the girls, who almost helped Santa but then had to go back down the mountain to get clothes on, and we also played with her dollhouse people. One adult would wear the wings and announce that he (occasionally she) was flying to fairyland. Cara took all the people out of the house and carefully posed them each with one hand straight up in the air. They were all "saying good-bye," and they all stood in a curved line to wave. It was also great because Steve and Cara played with the activity book, and he can guide her through doing the actual activities! She can circle things that don't belong, and she does mazes, but she draws her lines through walls.

It was a horrible evening because almost half a dozen times, when we put our foot down about something or even just said no to something, Cara wailed. Really wailed. Sometimes with tears. Often dramatically running to the next room. (She was still loud.) This happened when Daddy was not ready to go downstairs with her and play when she was done with dinner. It happened when we made her stop running around half-naked and put on a pull-up before getting into my bed. It happened when we made her get into the bath. It happened when Puma could not get into the bath with her. It started to happen when Daddy got out of the story chair to go blow his nose. She broke out the wailing for a few other things, too. Once she gets done, she's fine again.

Is she testing us? Is she getting sick? Is she tired? I really really don't know.

Some habits are getting out of hand, like the running back and forth upstairs at bedtime, to avoid the bath and then afterward the pajamas. We have to work on that. I've made progress with the mealtime problem, getting her to stay at the table. If she leaves, I ask her whether she's done. She says yes, of course. I suggest that I will get rid of her food. She says no! She comes back. I hope that helps. I hope something helps.

It really was a very good evening, except that the bad parts were so . . . so . . . loud.

2/12/08 (Tuesday)

I feel a little better today because everyone I talked to at work said that their little girls had done or were doing the same thing with all the wailing. That helps.

So, it snowed today, just lightly. I did some errands after work and got onto Route One at 4:15. It usually takes me about 15 minutes to get to Susan's. At 4:45, I called Susan to tell her I'd be late. I'd gone about a mile, maybe two. I tried going a different way. (There were a lot of accidents everywhere, the radio said, and One was closed in Edison.) At 5, I called Em to ask whether she and Ron could get Cara. Thank goodness, she could! Around 5:55, we all got home and I walked over to PJ's house.

I asked Cara whether she wanted to go home with me. "No!" cried PJ. "No way! Dara stay my house!" Cara added, "This my good house." We all went in and decided to have playdate tonight, since we were there. I went home to check messages and get my boots, since there were a couple of inches of snow on the ground, and when I got back Cara was wearing PJ's clothes, having spilled hot chocolate on her shirt and then had her diaper changed. (Em decided her pants were too tight and substituted PJ's.) It was very cute, and she was pleased. "Mommy, I wearing blue pants!" she told me several times.

All three kids had meltdowns and all of the parents were tired. It worked out okay, though. We had pizza and played. Cara jumped on PJ's bed, but he told her it was too loud and she had to stop. She was very upset, but she got over it. Later, apparently having gotten the hang of this clothes-borrowing thing, she went back to his room looking for new socks.

It was hard, when eight o'clock approached, to get her to leave. I had to hold her down and put her shoes on while she screamed. Moron! There was snow outside. SNOW. As soon as I remembered and suggested running home through the snow, she was ready!

There may have been three inches, I think. We plowed along and ran and she tasted some (looking sneaky), and when we got home she didn't want to go in. We ran in circles on the side of the house, and instead of heading out back, as she wanted, I got her to run around in the front yard. Then, Daddy got home! I had been worried, since his phone was dead, and it had taken him three hours! he went in to finally eat some dinner, and Cara and I ran and ran.

Gene was out shoveling, and we said hi. Then Cara wanted a shovel. I found her little one, and she tried hard to use it. She kind of followed Gene around, too. She wouldn't exactly talk to him, but she kept going over to see him and show him her shovel. We followed him all the way to the end of his yard.

The next idea Cara had was to make a snowman. Daddy came out, and he and I both tried our best. It wasn't good packing snow, so mine was only about seven inches tall. "This is good packing snow," said Steve, making a two-foot snowman.

It was still coming down, but now it was icy rain. My shoveling theory is that we should leave the snow down and let the ice form on top, for ease of removal tomorrow, but we trampled our driveway and sidewalk pretty well. Juliana waved from her doorway, and we went over and trampled her snow, too. She gave Cara some cookies, which was a great idea because we could tell her she had to go inside to eat them. Otherwise, we'd have had quite a fight!

Inside, we unwrapped ourselves and had to towel off our hair. We rubbed Cara's cold little feet and got her into pajamas. She got a cookie, she brushed her teeth, and Daddy read to her. Now, just a little bit late after our winter extravaganza, she's snuggly warm in bed.

2/13/08 (Wednesday)

Morning Update: I forgot to note last night that Cara had a fun ride home with Em and Casey. They like to tell knock-knock jokes. PJ's favorite is "orange banana." Who's there? Orange banana. Casey has joined in, too. Em tried to teach Cara boo hoo, but it didn't take. Casey made up a new one: who's there? Cara. I found out all about this when, at dinner, Casey and Cara started going back and forth with the knock-knocks and who's theres!

Last night Steve and I went to sleep at ten. Cara was still happily chatting in her room.

Ev had a delayed opening this morning. When I went up to get Cara, she decided to go on the potty--nothing happened, but since she had to strip anyway, I decided to dress her. She was partway through getting dressed when--surprise!--Mommy appeared. They played a little while I had breakfast and then Mommy drove Cara to Susan's.

This evening, even though there was an impromptu playdate without me just yesterday, we had another at which I was actually present. Just when I got home we were invited over. It turned out that even as I pulled up at 6 pm, Cara and Ev had not gone into our house yet. After running some errands, the two arrived at the house, but Cara decided to go over and visit Juliana. Apparently Cara toured the whole house, looked at many items, nibbled a cookie, and peed on the potty! Cara wanted a toothbrush so she could brush her teeth, and Juliana promised to get her a pink one. All the while Juliana nicely kept the piece of snow Cara had been chewing on when she came in stored safely in the freezer, so that Cara was able to take it back and continue chewing when she left.

At PJ's, the kids zoned out in front of the TV while dinner got ready. They did some eating but soon disappeared to different parts of the house. Eventually we all found ourselves up in the "secret room," the beautiful added master bedroom, where Cara participated in the nightly Loeffler ritual of taking off all of the couch cushions and jumping onto them and on the stripped couch. The kids absolutely loved it; I looked on dubiously. I am hoping she doesn't get the idea to translate this game into our house, which has much less springy couches. While they were bouncing I got to hear various knock-knock jokes, most of which involved bananas.

Parting from this paradise was very difficult for Cara, who did some wailing and even a tiny bit of thrashing. Once we got ourselves going she was perfectly happy to traipse along the street and play at home. Evie somehow managed to get her to clean up her girls and now she is having a bubble bath. I may be allowed to read stories tonight.

| Previous Week | Back Home | Next Week |