Mel Gilden

Ernie Schmidt

Skeletor's old buddy in wickedness, Monteeg, shows up on a mission to recruit He-Man for his gang of interstellar villains. Skeletor finds himself in the rare position of cheering on his enemy as He-Man is put through a series of tests to prove his worth - if the hero passes, he'll be taken from his post on Eternia and no longer be a thorn in Skeletor's side!

Teela, Prince Adam (He-Man), Orko

Clawful, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn

Hannibal, Herc, Blackbeard, Monteeg; mentioned only: Oro the traitor of Orion, Ringus the enslaver of Saturn, Signus the red demon of Mars; many floating warrior heads, some of whom might have the preceding names

Wind Raider

It's a pretty standard day at Snake Mountain: Skeletor is just hanging out, spying on the Heroic Warriors of Eternia eating lunch, while Clawful sits nearby questioning his boss's life choices. But suddenly an elephant appears! With a guy on it! Fortunately Skeletor is prepared for just such an eventuality, because he's installed a little metal pincer that pops out of the ground to delicately grab the elephant's leg. But there's also a space pirate! And a little frog guy! They've all teleported into his base, and it looks like another case of Eternian home invasion, until we discover that the little frog guy is named Monteeg, and he's an old crony of Skeletor's, just paying a friendly visit.

As the two archvillains reminisce over some drinks, Monteeg reveals that he's in the process of recruiting an army of famous (read: evil) warriors from across time and space, which will be more impressive than anyone Skeletor has recruited. For instance, the elephant guy is Hannibal from ancient Earth, and the space pirate is Blackbeard from... ancient Earth. And somewhere else, he has a bunch of other guys packed away, from lots of other planets! In fact, Monteeg is here on Eternia specifically to recruit He-Man! Skeletor scoffs, pointing out that He-Man would never agree to be a part of such a scheme; but he loves the idea of the hero being taken away from the planet, leaving old Bonehead free to do whatever he likes. So he's very pleased to let Monteeg perform a series of tests on He-Man, to see if the blonde beefcake is good enough to make the cut.

Monteeg teleports himself to the palace grounds and informs Teela, Adam, and Orko that his village of Palonia is under attack from a giant and needs the assistance of He-Man. Adam obligingly wanders off to "get word to" He-Man. The hero then selects Orko as his shotgun passenger in the Wind Raider (Teela will mind the store while they're gone). Monteeg hops in the back and the trio are off to Palonia, by way of (apparently) the Ice Mountains and Needle Mountain. During the journey, Monteeg uses his magic to generate various obstacles and dangers for He-Man to deal with, all while Skeletor watches the show from his desktop dome, providing commentary and perversely cheering his enemy on. There is a forest fire, some ice balls, and a maliciously pounding rock wall - all of which, of course, He-Man eliminates or avoids handily.

Arriving at last at Palonia, an impressed and convinced Monteeg finds a moment to wander off alone and teleport back to Skeletor, where he watches a bemused He-Man wander about the deserted village searching for the fictional giant. Instead, Hannibal and Blackbeard appear and explain the real situation. Blackbeard (possibly oversharing just a tad) tells He-Man that all the other warriors of Monteeg's army are held inside a nearby dome, and they won't be released until Monteeg wills it - or, you know, if someone were to destroy the dome. He-Man, now with a plan, decides that instead of walking the plank into a pit like Blackbeard has requested, he's going to leap off the plank and scale the mountain atop which the dome sits.

A battle ensues, in which Monteeg joins, and eventually even Skeletor, who gets fed up with all the failure. The bad guys manage to get He-Man into a hole for a short period (because Monteeg is able to make it a mobile prison), but he digs his way up and out of it. Orko seems to feel it's his duty to mess with Herc the elephant, which he does quite a bit. Eventually He-Man scales a tree and from thence makes it to the summit and the dome, which he pries off and tosses into space, releasing a series of floating, ghostly heads which are apparently what heroes throughout history look like when they're in cold storage.

A foiled Monteeg and Skeletor swap recriminations and blame and both teleport away, leaving a now-grateful Hannibal and Blackbeard, who (it seems) didn't actually want to help their enslaver rule the universe (as had previously seemed to be the case). They help He-Man down from his tree and then dissipate like the other ghostly warriors, presumably to return to either the afterlife or their regularly scheduled timestream. The day is saved, thanks to Orko and He-Man!

End with a Joke: Orko hopes that he and He-Man don't still have to fight a giant, as he is very tired from the day's events. He-Man replies: "After what we've just been through, I'd find fighting a giant kind of relaxing... Should we look for one?" Orko demurs, claiming his desire to hear Man-at-Arms's "next history lesson." He wishes he had gotten Hannibal and Blackbeard's autographs.

• Monteeg (describing Hannibal): ...who, during the Second Punic War astounded the earthlings when he climbed one of the highest mountain ranges with just a few pachydori - that's "elephant" in ancient Earth language. / Skeletor: Don't you think I know that?
• Skeletor: He-Man will pass any test you give him.
• Clawful (stating the obvious): It is strange that you are cheering for He-Man. / Skeletor: Fool! If he passes the tests, Monteeg will take him away, and then we are rid of He-Man forever!
• Monteeg (to He-Man): Oh my goodness, that was impressive! / Skeletor (watching remotely): Impressive, you boob, it was spectacular! Your army is nothing without He-Man! / Clawful: And you are everything without him.
• Skeletor: He-Man will be difficult to train. / Monteeg: I've never had a dropout.
• Blackbeard (cheering on his boss, who is launching finger lightning at He-Man): Fire away, matey! Hit 'im amidships!

• Skeletor laughs, head back: Remembering past misdeeds
• Skeletor leans in close to the viewer: Ranting about He-Man, again later when talking to Clawful, and again in reverse (leaning back) just before a commercial break
• He-Man picks up and throws a rock: To block back up a stream of water he opened
• A look through widespread legs: He-Man hops out of the Wind Raider, and again when he leaps off Blackbeard's plank
• He-Man runs away from the viewer: Heading for the exit from Needle Mountain
• He-Man from above, runs to mid-screen and pauses, battle-ready: As he encounters Monteeg, again later in the big battle, and yet again when he looks around for a tree to cimb
• He-Man punches the viewer: To break a stone door
• He-Man juggles his sword: The beginning motion is used when he's stuck in a hole, and the full juggling loop later when he confronts Blackbeard and Monteeg
• Skeletor shakes his fists, three-quarter view: In rage at the villains' inability to catch He-Man
• He-Man smiles close-up, looking at the viewer: To make the ending joke

One partial (missing Cringer/Battle Cat sequence)

Brought to you by Prince Adam
Adam appears in a library and claims that the English-speaking Hannibal and bug-helmeted Blackbeard from today's episode were "very real." History is like a great adventure story - and the best part is, that it really happened! An odd comment to make when you're an imaginary character from an escapist fantasy show.

Games and gladiators: I almost didn't have a category for this episode, until I invented this one, of which this episode is an example.

• The episode opens with Skeletor doing his favorite thing: spying on the heroes with his desktop dome. As Clawful points out: "You spend much time watching the palace, Skeletor." He really needs a hobby!
• Monteeg and Skeletor reminisce over deposing a "good King Archibald." Details are never given and Monteeg is never seen in another episode, so we'll never learn the back story here. It would be a good starting point for some fan fiction...
• Monteeg shows that he can drink liquid through his fingertip - an unusual skill whose utility is questionable.
• Skeletor repeats the very rare occurrence of complimentary descriptions of his various henchmen, which he last performed back in the pilot episode (MU004). This time he only mentions two: Evil-Lyn and Clawful, the latter of which he describes as his "right-hand man," passing over many more veteran lackeys. The animation of Evil-Lyn which shows up in his dome is the same one used in her introduction in the pilot.
• Monteeg gives an unexpected Earth history lesson by telling us all about the feats of Hannibal. Skeletor is insulted at having this explained to him, implying that ancient Earth history would be familiar to most Eternians - or that he just wants to act like he already knows everything, which is more likely. All Monteeg's talk of "pachydori" being another name for "elephants" is a little odd considering later episode canon, which suggests that Eternia does not have elephants, but similar creatures called myrtlephants (MU100) or elodons (MU129).
• With merely the plunging of his two hands into the water, He-Man redirects an entire stream and turns it into a shower of rain over a forest fire. Just another instance of hydraulic engineering from our beefy best bud!
• To reach Palonia, He-Man must fly through an arctic region which he mentions is peopled by "ice trolls," so it's very likely the Ice Mountains of MU034.
• Some magic powers Orko exhibits in this episode: he summons a giant meteor to Teela and Adam's lunch table, he passes his hand directly through the middle of his own head, and later he caps an elephant's trunk with an incongruous golden ewer and briefly summons a flute to try to charm the beast.
• Monteeg has some interesting powers, including being able to set up the various tests for He-Man, create and move a hole, put Orko in a bubble force field, and shoot lightning out of his hands just like Emperor Palpatine!
• For some reason, the imprisoned members of Monteeg's army are not present in physical form, but instead appear as floating, ghostly heads when they are freed from the dome.
• Both Skeletor and Monteeg vanish away in a flash, using a fairly typical MOTU villain escape method.
• It's true that there are some new characters in the mix for this episode, but really only three have been added (Blackbeard, Hannibal, and Monteeg are the only ones with lines, and all the other heroes are just floating heads); so it seems odd that the character count, especially on the Heroic side, is so low. We never see Duncan, Cringer, the royal couple, or the Sorceress.

• A relentlessly spying Skeletor nevertheless somehow manages to miss the moment when Prince Adam transforms into He-Man. Shucks!
• In a mystifying turn of events, He-Man requests that Orko join him on his giant-stopping mission, while the competent one, Teela, remain behind to "guard the palace." He also has Orko taking over the controls of the Wind Raider several times on their journey, in more evidence of dubious judgment.
• If He-Man really does fly through the Ice Mountains on his way to Palonia, as he seems to do, then the location of Palonia is mysterious indeed. It doesn't seem to be in a polar region, as it would almost have to be for He-Man's route to make any sense.
• Monteeg can apparently pull people out of time for his army. Can he time travel? Unless he plans on inserting Hannibal back to the same time he took him when he's done, he is interfering with Earth history. Based on how the warriors vanish at the end, it's possible that he has summoned some kind of undead, ghostly memories of them all.
• Monteeg also claims that he got Blackbeard from "ancient Earth," but if so he must have equipped the pirate with some fancy sci-fi level gear: a metal helmet with stubby little horns or antennae and black eye coverings that make him look oddly bug-like, metallic shoulder pads, purple chest armor, underoos, and boots - and of course no pants.
• To stop the homing ice balls on their tail, He-Man hops off the Wind Raider and blocks the entrance to Needle Mountain just after the Wind Raider passes through. A few seconds later, we see He-Man climbing back into the Wind Raider, which has landed inside the mountain. Sooo... how did he get there? He just blocked the entrance from the outside.
• Blackbeard cleverly tells He-Man that all of Monteeg's other soldiers are locked up in a dome "until Monteeg lets 'em go, or the dome is destroyed." I mean, but that's a crazy idea, right? Who would possibly be able to destroy the dome? Certainly not a sculpted and toned Adonis with the power of Grayskull on his side...
• The establishing shots of Hannibal have an odd repeating habit of pausing on him and his elephant for a few seconds before the elephant trumpets. It certainly passes the time!
• Animation error: In the scene where He-Man traps the bad guys behind a metal grid, Blackbeard's usually grayish mustache becomes completely white.
• Animation/continuity error: As Hannibal begins to command his elephant to charge forward and break the villains out of the rock tunnel into which He-Man has caged them, the elephant and its rider are shown in a wide open background, clearly nowhere near the tunnel.
• He-Man performs some very unlikely acrobatics to get up onto a mountain, which has him bouncing off of Hannibal's little howdah platform on Herc's back. Hannibal shakes his fist in anger after He-Man has flown off, making a phlegmy growl that sounds exactly like Beast Man.
• Blackbeard and Hannibal seem to be pretty engaged in Monteeg's plans, and supportive of his idea to conquer the universe. However, they make a complete 180 when Monteeg runs off, apparently happy to return to their "proper rest."
• If you were looking for someone on Eternia who would help you conquer the world, I guess I see why you would try for He-Man - but you've got to know he's not going to be very amenable to the idea. What about someone with, let us say, more flexible moral sensibilities? I suppose Skeletor wouldn't stoop to being bossed around by anyone, even his buddy Monteeg. But why not Beast Man, hmmmm? He may not be remotely competent, but he's certainly an obedient lackey, and he has historically expressed interest in conquering the universe. Consider Beast Man: for all your evil army needs.
• The "castle" of heroes mentioned in the episode title is nowhere to be seen, unless the structure with the dome is supposed to be a castle.