Mick Barnard

Arguably the most mysterious and most crucial member of Genesis, Mick Barnard's life has always been clouded in myth and misinformation, as well as surrounded by unexplained corpses and unanswered questions. Evidence from reliable sources (who will go unnamed for security purposes) has recently come to light, and shows some of the true extent of Barnard's influence. Mick is in fact the backbone of Genesis, its keystone, its Bill Bruford, its driving creative force. Not only did he write nearly every Genesis song, he also played many of the instruments on all of the studio recordings. Mick is a skilled drummer, guitarist, flautist and pianist, and has been classically schooled in the accordion, triangle, Jew's harp, and duck call. It was Mick's idea to tell stories between Genesis songs, and Mick's idea to dress Peter Gabriel in strange costumes (costumes that grew ever more elaborate and uncomfortable to wear as the Mick/Gabriel relationship deteriorated). Seemingly the only thing he did not contribute to the band was the lyrics; these he left to the constantly drunk or high mind of Tony Banks, whose hallucinations proved a wonderful source for imagery.

Some might scoff at the idea of Mick being a nearly omniscient presence within the band, controlling its every move; and some might claim that instead of his truly godlike status, Mick was really only a minor freelancing musician who happened to play a few live gigs with the band before they kicked him out for 'not playing very well.' This story is in fact a lie spread amongst the general public in an attempt to downplay Mick's real involvement with Genesis. This lie is only part of a massive conspiracy to hide the elusive Mick Barnard from the world. All of Mick's family have died off or disappeared. The other members of the band clam up when the subject of Mick is brought up in interviews. 'I can't discuss that,' says Rutherford, a wild look in his eyes. Phil Collins' disappearance may also be linked to Phil's knowledge of Mick's true importance, or to Phil's discovery of Mick's secret induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (as a member of Earth, Wind and Fire). It is known that Mick was good friends with Anthony 'the Ant' Phillips, and that he associated with many members of the Phillips crime family. He has also been linked to secret attacks on Cuba, the moon landing, and the aborted test pressing of a double LP edition of 'Genesis Live,' featuring the ultimate version of the song 'Supper's Ready.'

What is the real reason for the Mick Barnard conspiracy and cover-up? No one knows for sure. Perhaps his musical abilities are being harnessed by government officials to create a deadly weapon of incredible destructive potential. Mick has masqueraded under many fake names and aliases (see John Silver, John Mayhew, Chris Stewart), and it is possible that he is some kind of immortal being who has journeyed through history as a musical genius, hiding behind names such as 'Mozart' or 'Dale Newman,' and wearing masks to disguise his true identity. Those who deny this possibility are most likely also part of the conspiracy. Beware!

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