What you've been waiting for for all these years has finally arrived. Finally, Genesis fans can judge their personality by picking picture captions for Genesis-related images! That's right. Below you will find a series of pictures, and beneath each picture is a short list of possible captions for that picture. For each list, choose the caption that feels right to you (don't ask me which one feels right to you, use your instincts; that way the choice will be true to your deepest self), and at the end of the test you can score your choices and discover your Genesis Quotient. Your personality will match with one of the pre-supplied band member personality profiles (psychologists have discovered that the full range of the human psyche is demonstrated by five basic personality types, which are (by a strange, serendipitous twist of fate!) all present in the classic five-member line-up of Genesis). NOTE: The personality profiles for the band members DO NOT match those outlined in the Faux Bios section. That's because the Faux Bios were, well, fake. But THESE, these are the real personalities of the band members. Honest! ANOTHER NOTE: If you are disappointed by your ending personality profile/Genesis Quotient, that's not my fault. It's YOUR personality.
 
PART ONE (Pictures 1-6)
 
#1  
 

1. Ant at the goat farm: "Well, yeah, his head feels okay, and I checked his teeth, but what kind of mileage does he get?"

2. Ant's pet goat was incredibly strong and, with the appropriate harness, could carry all of his musical equipment from his home in England to the studio in Belgium.

3. For a short period in the late 70s, Ant considered writing a concept album all about the life of an enslaved goat named "Parka." He did lots of research with real goats, but eventually he decided against the idea.

4. After leaving the band, Anthony Phillips had to take small jobs training goats for television commercials.

5. Ant: "All right, goat, I can wait as long as you can; if you're not going to tell me, I'm just going to keep looking over here until I figure out what it is you're staring at."

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 
#2  
 

1. Pete (pointing at Tony): "This is Tony's big keyboard solo, everybody, and the whole success of the show basically hinges on whether he can pull this off without screwing up. So nobody make him nervous! OK, Tony, fire away. This song is called 'Firth of Fifth,' by the way."

2. Pete: "I'd like to point out our roadie Richard to everyone in the audience. Richard forgot to bring the right adapter to the gig tonight, so all of our instruments got fried and the electrical system is dead. Let's give Rich a nice welcome, shall we? ...That's right, it's OK to kick him when he's down."

3. Pete: "Now I may do some spontaneous crowd surfing tonight, so I want everyone in front to promise right now that they won't get out of the way when I jump!"

4. Pete: "OK, whoever brought the pack of hunting hounds in, that is not funny. You'd better get them out of here now, I think they've got my scent! If they rip my ball gown, I'm not going to be the one paying for it."

5. Pete: "Hey, you in the front there--there's no smoking in this gig...What's that? No, my mother does not eat crud."

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 
#3  
 

1. Pete: "Boy, let me tell you folks, these stage lights are HOT! I have got to get out of this bulky, heavy, skintight leotard."

2. Pete: "AAAAHH! This jumpsuit is really chafing my nipples!"

3. Pete: "Why don't you touch me, touch--Wait a moment, someone stole my chest hair! It was you, wasn't it, Phil? I know you wanted a transplant, but this just isn't the way to go about it, mate."

4. Old Henry: "Hey baby, I may be getting old and wrinkly in the facial area, but check out this magnificently preserved torso."

5. Pete: "Before I finish the song, ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: I've just been told there is a car out in the carpark with its lights on. The license plate number is: F-O-X-T-R-O-T...Oh, that's rather cute, isn't it?"

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 
#4  
 

1. Pete: "The trusty Genesis van always seems to break down when we need it most...hurry, men! It's still forty miles and seventeen roundabouts till we reach the Marquee Club!"

2. Phil: "Hurry, guys, I don't want to miss the ice cream lorry again! This time I got the right amount of change from Tony Stratton-Smith, and sod it, I'm going to get that push pop."

3. Peter Gabriel and Tony Banks were close friends since very early childhood, and even into their 20s they would still occasionally hold hands.

4. Documented proof that the running speed of the rest of the Genesis members matches the casual walking speed of Steve Hackett.

5. Tony: "Run, run for your lives, or we'll miss the beginning of 'Doctor Who!'"

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 

#5  
 

1. To rehearse for a show, Peter goes through every song in his head in real time. It's time consuming, but it can be done anywhere; here, Peter rehearses at the dinner table.

2. Peter Gabriel had an incredibly intense fear of flying, and in order to actually get him onto a plane his fellow band members had to resort to spiking his afternoon tea with sleeping agents.

3. While Tony Banks has his cup of tea every day, regular as clockwork, Peter Gabriel must perform a ritual meditation every afternoon wherein he prays to Buddha.

4. Peter Gabriel's threshold for drink was so low that a single cup of tea would make him pass out if he drank it too quickly.

5. After a previous day which included two whole performances and one long night of sustained binge drinking, Peter Gabriel can hardly keep awake; but hardcore partier Tony Banks has a nice cup a tea and keeps on going.

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 
#6  
 

1. Beneath all the costumes and make-up and artifice, what Peter Gabriel really looks like is...this.

2. Pete: "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT PRETTY BOY? Haven't you ever seen Magog before? MAGOG!!"

3. Phil: "When Peter put on a costume, he really slipped into his role. When he was Magog, he would go around yelling to all the roadies about the end of the world, and keep mistaking Mike Rutherford for Jesus."

4. Pete: "Damn paparazzi! Must you follow me everywhere, even into my home!?"

5. Peter Gabriel always played around on stage. At one rehearsal, Peter's head got wedged so tight in a piece of stage equipment that it could not be removed in time for the gig, and he had to pretend that it was part of a costume.

Select the caption that feels right to you:

 

This is the end of the first half of the test. To continue, please add up the numbers of all your caption choices, and (keeping this sum in mind) go to part two by clicking on the corresponding link below.

Part Two (Pictures 7-12) | Part Three (Scoring)