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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

6/20/13 (Thursday)

I took Owen for his first swimming lesson today!

On the way, he told me a story. Actually, it wasn't a story. He insisted that it was not a story. Finally, I asked him why. Because he wasn't reading it.

Anyway, that big ice cream truck went to Audrey's house, and the guy asked Audrey, "do you want some ice cream?" and Audrey said "no thank you" because she didn't want any ice cream. So the ice cream truck went back to Owen's school, and it chased Audrey!

And that's all he can tell me about Audrey. And it's not a story.

Owen has entered a "why" phase. It's horrible! Why are we going to swimming? Why? Why? Why is it that way? Why is this here? On and on and on and on. I don't remember Cara doing this. The fifth or sixth time that he asked me why we were going to swimming, though, I turned the tables and asked him why. He answered me: "Because I want to."

We got to the Y and got Owen changed, and he went marching out in his little bare feet and his swim trunks. We went up the ramp to the same pool where Cara used to have lessons, when Owen was just an infant. All the parents brought their kids in, and one by one the teachers strapped "bubbles" onto them and brought them to sit at the pool edge. I was proud of the way Owen, who is one of the smallest, went right along with all of this.

Then the kids had to get, one by one, into the pool, to hang on the edge. Some of them held loosely and bounced in the water; Owen got a death grip on the rim of the pool and kept his head well out of the water. It turns out that 30 minutes is a long class. The two teachers in the water took the kids back and forth one at a time. Owen made it across a few times. For a little bit the lifeguard let him sit on the edge; she talked with him and kept holding up three fingers. Eventually he went back into the water. With a good, tight grip!

There was definitely crying going on. It wasn't just Owen, though! Several kids were not happy.

Finally, they had all of the kids climb out. Even Owen managed it. I was relieved that it was over--and that Owen stayed in line rather than trying to escape! However, they were just getting ready for the big finale. Each kid got to "jump" in to one of the teachers and be brought over to the end of the pool to get out, get a sticker, and be retrieved by a parent.

Owen was one of the last, and then he was the last. Then he decided to head for the door, where he had finally seen me. The teacher jokingly caught hold of the strap of his bubble, pulling him gently back for his turn. I tried to get him to go, but he was really done, poor little guy! He walked over to get his sticker, though, and have his bubble removed.

We went back to the locker room. Owen was eager to go home. I was trying to put a positive spin on all of this, and I said something about what we would do next week. "No we won't," said Owen, "because I am not doing that ever again!"

Innocently, I asked him why. "Because my friends are not there!" Well, that's better than just hating it.

Of course, by now he's very proud of himself for having gone swimming. He had to show off his sticker to Cara and Daddy, and he told them how he got it. I'm just hoping he keeps up this very revisionist version of history!

So, we're trying to get Owen to head upstairs to the tub. I ask him whether he wants me or Steve to give him a bath. "I want Cara!" he announces. Well, I said, you'd better get up there fast, if you want Cara to give you a bath. She immediately jumps in: "I am so fast! I'm going to get up there first!" He is delighted and runs upstairs, thinking he's so clever for being faster than she is. I'm so proud of her for being a good sport!

6/22/13 (Saturday)

I am in the unusual position of hearing Owen, while being bathed by his daddy, screaming that he wants Mommy! This is NOT the way things generally work around here. In fact, it's usually the opposite.

It's because I've spent a lot of time with Owen today. In the morning I took the kids out for some errands. The third stop was to get Owen's hair cut at the mall. While we waited, we checked out the kiddie rides. Owen sat in a car, happily driving, and I decided to give it a shot and put money in. He wasn't sure he liked it when the car started to move, but I suggested that this was fun and he was willing to drive some more. He was done before it was, though. So, he'll be happier if we don't spend money on rides!

He sat very nicely for his hair cut, and then he was very happy to get a lollipop. The lollipop helped us get through a quick run into the shoe store! Finally, we went to Barnes and Noble. We also went yesterday, so Owen has gotten plenty of superhero books. Last night, he insisted on having Steve read to him. Today, I read him five books and then he was willing to go home.

After Owen's nap, he woke up unhappy. I managed to get him into his stroller, though, and we set off for the park. Yes, we do have a park! Cara and Steve, who had been out at a movie, met us there. Owen made me run the stroller up on the grass to let him out; I used to push it all the way to the path. He ran to the playground. There's a sort of upper platform that he never could get to before, but today he climbed right up. He can't get down. Up is good, though! He can also almost climb the red climbing wall. He did the slide without hesitation. We definitely have to keep going back!

After a while, we tried out the swings. Cara used to love the swings, and Owen never got as enthusiastic. Today, though, he really loved it. One difference between boys and girls, or at least between Cara and Owen: when we "got" her feet as she swung, Cara never "got" us back. Owen does. He claps his feet right on my hand. He loves it. I'm predicting broken nails.

Owen is very decidedly into coloring now. I'm working on convincing him to use crayons instead of markers in coloring books, because of the bleed-through. He's scribbling, but it's often multicolored and it's definitely directed at different parts of the picture. He's got a lovely rainbow monster going on right now. He also likes making big squiggle shapes, which apparently are some sort of monsters. It's fun to watch him grow up!

6/23/13 (Sunday)

Today was the North Brunswick Youth Sports Festival!! This is one of several things that Cara could not wait to experience this weekend. Last year, Cara had a fantastic time going on all the rides, including ones that her parents did not particularly enjoy experiencing. Owen had gone on maybe two rides, one of which was a tiny little train ride that went very slowly in a circle, and still managed to make him cry.

This year we set out with high hopes. It turned out that the height restrictions on a lot of the rides seemed to have increased since last year, including that of the roller coaster; but we still managed to find plenty for the little girl to do. Swings were fun, and there were various little funhouses to run through, and spinny-type rides. Owen was definitely ready this year, too. He got onto a nice dinosaur ride with Cara, which they both enjoyed very much. Then he actually got onto the tiny little roller coaster for tiny kids. Evelyn and I thought it looked like a dragon, but the children seem to have agreed that it was an alligator. Afterwards, Owen claimed this was his favorite part of the carnival. During the ride, he spent the entire time staring straight ahead with a shocked expression of near-terror on his face.

Early on we decided to let him play a game, since we figured he wasn't going to do many rides; so we took him to the "you are guaranteed to win as long as you can pick up a little rubber duckie" game, which looked perfect since there all these wonderful plush superhero toys hanging above it. As it turned out, though, you actually had to be luckier than usual to win those. Owen refused to even pick up a duck, so I had to do it for him, and we chose from the smaller prizes. We ended up with a bright plastic trumpet, which seemed like a terrible prize. But Owen absolutely loved it: he spent the rest of the day tooting his own horn. And fortunately he doesn't seem to have figured out that it actually CAN make noise if you blow into it, so he was just making pretend noises, which is much more amusing.

Owen actually agreed to run through some of the funhouses (those that he was just tall enough to get into), with the help of his mommy. One or two of them had a balcony halfway through, where you could come out in the open and see the carnival from a second storey. Owen had to stop and spend many minutes up on the balcony, happily looking out.

It was supposed to be sunny all day, but not too long into our visit the dark clouds rolled in and the rain started coming down. We ran into the shelter of the petting zoo, and got our chance to feed some animals. Owen was very unsure about getting close enough to the animals so that they could actually reach the carrot he was holding out, and several times his mother had to pull him forwards to make it happen. But once it did, he was totally ecstatic and had to do a little happy dance to celebrate.

The rain let up again and we got a couple of other kiddie rides in before it was time for dinner. Afterwards I took the buddy home and Evelyn and Cara went back for a few more rides. The rain had gone and left behind a big old rainbow, which Evelyn and Cara could see very well from up on the swings. It was a lovely day.

6/24/13 (Monday)

Owen and I were up at 4:30, happily reading a book. Miraculously, he did not think it was wake-up time! Instead of turning on the lights and bursting in to announce the dawn, he stayed in bed and called Daddy. He got me instead, but that was ok. I let him have a snack and a drink and read him The Sleepless Little Vampire, which is a great book. Then I tucked him back in and went off to start my morning!

When I got out of the shower an hour later, he was up and had woken Steve. Owen had settled in the basement, where he was happily coloring and watching Scooby Doo. He stayed there all morning, while we got ourselves ready and packed lunches.

In the afternoon, Claire and Cara and I picked him up. As I tried to steer him to the car, he headed briefly the other way: "I want to step on that!" It was an old, brown crab apple. "What was that?" he asked. When we got home, Claire took Owen's shoes off for him. I heard her explaining to him that the thing on his shoe was the thing he had stepped on. This is ironic because, since it's June, the driveway is covered in mulberries and Owen has been avoiding them religiously and objecting if we walk on the driveway at all.

I asked, over dinner, whether Owen had told Claire about going to the carnival. He claimed he had, but he hadn't. We got him to tell her about it now: "I got a horn, and I went up stairs!" That sums things up, all right! The fun houses all had stairs.

6/25/13 (Tuesday)

Today was my last day of school! To celebrate, we went out to Friendly's. I sat next to Owen. At first, I was thinking, wow, this is easy: he's just coloring! He did amuse himself with the placemat for a while. Then I would circle a B in the word search and he would scribble it out aggressively. Then he started growling and diving into me. Then headbutting. And climbing up me. And over me. With growling. I do like the horseplay, but I'd also like it if he'd stop to eat!

My hamburger had toothpicks in it, the kind with colorful celophane. Owen was intrigued, so he ate his chicken using my toothpicks. At the first bite, he was shocked to discover that it was chicken. I'm not sure what he was expecting.

On the way home, we faced an issue I've been expecting: it was almost eight, but the sun was not down, so it was "not sleep time!" Steve tried to explain about the axial tilt of the earth. I suggested sucking it up now ans putting him down at 4:30 in the winter. Fortunately, routine is a powerful force. The child is almost down.

6/26/13 (Wednesday)

So, this morning was the beginning of our summer routine: I dropped off both kids. We relaxed a little and brought Cara to camp first. Owen was kind of excited about seeing her camp. He mentioned the camping he'd seen in the Little Critter books, and I realized that his expectations were fairly different fron reality. We talked him down. Of course, he enjoyed walking her in.

As we walked into YBR, Owen said, "We are not going to play outside today . . . there's a cloud . . . it's raining . . . the sun is going down . . . it's night time." Or maybe it's a lovely day with occasional clouds. Clouds do not always mean rain. We're working on explaining this. The other day, Claire and I told Owen that rain is water. He didn't believe us.

During the year, Owen has gotten into the habit of having a snack as soon as he gets to YBR. Steve has to rush in the mornings, and sometimes Owen just brings his breakfast along and gets set up at the table to eat. Mommy doesn't do that. I told Owen this at several points this morning, but I wasn't sure how it would work out. We arrived, and he asked for something from his lunch box. I told him he'd have to ask the teachers. When I told Miss Kathy I wasn't down with getting him something, she invited him to come and dance with everyone instead. With a pause to wave goodbye to me, he did!

I picked Owen up at 4:30 and explained to him that we were going to get Cara, take her to dance, go to Target, pick Cara up from dance, and go to PJ's house to go in the pool. I explained this about five times over the course of fifteen minutes. When we'd gotten Cara and gotten back in the car, Owen asked, "Are we going home?" I explained a few more times.

We never made it to Target; it took too long for me to get through the filling out of forms at dance. Owen sat nicely and colored while I worked. First, though, we'd had to read a book together. It was The American Girl Book About Feelings. Owen looked at it on his own for a while and then asked me to read it because "it has a lot of words." One technique Owen might find helpful would be writing in a journal. If he writes about his feelings, it could help him understand them. He doesn't have to share his journal with anyone--he might want to hide it from even his family--but sharing it might be a very helpful thing to do.

Swimming class is tomorrow, and I was really relieved that Owen was excited about going in the pool at PJ's house tonight. We hurried home from dance and got into our suits. (One of the children announced, as we got out of the car, that we have suits in our house and don't have to buy them.)

I worked myself up to it and jumped into the pool fairly quickly, for me. Owen worked himself up to it and let me bring him in. "The water feels good!" he said. (Actually, it was kind of cold. He was kind of shivery. Still, he was happy!) He liked being bounced around. He liked it when I sailed him through the water. He clung to me with varying degrees of clinginess.

After a while, I suggested that he try jumping in to me. I put him on the edge and we negotiated a bit, then he sort of leaned forwards and I sort of took him in, and he thought it was wonderful. We had to do it several times! So, there's a good chance that tomorrow the special treat at the end of the class will actually be a special treat. I hope.

However, there was a storm starting, and dinner was ready, so we got out. We sat under the canopy and ate dinner outside in the pouring rain! When the kids were done the rain was also finished, so they had fun on the patio. There are little cones for shooting water, and Cara started scooping water up to dump on her head. Soon, all three of them (PJ was inside) were doing it.

I am so, so happy that we got Owen really into the pool!

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