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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

4/22/10 (Thursday)

Last night we put Owen down around nine, and I was astonished when I realized that it was three in the morning when he woke me up! It felt really nice. It was also nice that he then slept until six thirty. He seems to be developing a pattern of being awake for much of the morning; today he did take a couple of little cat naps, but he was really up until we left for our appointment to see the audiologist at eleven. I gave him a bath, which he enjoyed. He's been liking his baths, and I finally took some pictures. I've been thinking of doing it, but I never remember about the camera until after he's in the tub already.

At the audiologist, actually, Owen woke back up. It took some wrassling and some bribery with a bottle to get him to let us test him. Unfortunately, things went no better than they did a month ago. In June, after I get out of school, he'll go back. We'll go early in the morning because they're going to have to anesthetize him in order to do a very complete scan that will show what sounds in what frequencies get into his brain. The test is a more thorough version of one he passed in the hospital. That was the A-BAER, with A meaning automatic or something. This will be a full BAER. We've scheduled a sedated BAER. I'm pleased that at least it has a cute name.

Of course he went back to sleep in the car on the way home. I got to eat a little lunch before he woke up, took a four-ounce bottle, demanded more, took a two-ounce bottle, and fell asleep on me in the glider. So I went to sleep, too.

4/24/10 (Saturday)

This little girl was full of ideas for her visit. Could we go to Atlantic Highlands and see the boats? We could and we did. She didn't want to eat at Memphis Pig-Out - how about that place right by the marina? Let's look at the water! Very, very important - we must buy a "weaving kit" because now she knows how to weave. And we have to make a fall picture and a summer picture to complement our winter and spring pictures.

Mix in a playground visit and a bubble bath, and you get more fun than one little girl can easily sustain - she was exhausted!

We did hop, skip and jump alongside the marina. She met a nice boy who was riding his bicycle there, and the two of them engaged in the 5-year-old equivalent of a brief flirtation. Grandpapa appeared!!! He was hungry! We repaired to our waterside cafe, where Cara highly approved of the fried shrimp basket. Her orange balloon safely accompanied us through all of these and our subsequent adventures, although a greedy wind did try to steal it from us.

We made our way to the nearby playground, where a woman with a 4-year-old daughter asked, "Is that Mrs. Smuga?" "Dana?" I asked. It WAS the very same warm-hearted person who once babysat for us, and we shared some lovely memories while the kids ran and climbed and swung.

Cara and I attempted to get a "weaving kit" but we purchased the wrong type of fabric loops, so our weaving project has been deferred to next week.

In fact, it was so late, and she was so tired, by the time we got home, we went straight to the bath (which revived her wonderfully, snack (oh, the secret stash of Oreo's - Grandpapa will never find them!) and bedtime stories.

In the morning we made a good start on our fall picture before that good little girl got pack up and sent home. To be continued (the picture that is) next week.

Last night, since I didn't have to get up to pump, I stayed in bed the whole night! It's the first time since Owen was born, and it was really nice. Really, really nice. It'll be nicer when Owen sleeps through the night, so there's no crying, but not having to personally get up was a wonderful treat. I'm pleased that Steve's observations of the night mirror mine: Owen takes his bottles fast and wants to get back to sleep!

I went out this morning with Juliana to buy some plants for the front, and when I got back Owen had scratched his face very impressively. Clearly, this would never have happened, had I been here and in charge. He needs a onesie that says, "Yeah, well, you should see the other baby!" He looks like a prize fighter, particularly when his expression is disgruntled. However, he was very happily cuddling with his grandmom, who was trying to convince him that going to sleep was a good idea. He had apparently forgotten how. Eventually she talked him into it, and he slept in his bouncer, looking tough.

Cara came home from Grandmama's today with an exciting art kit. It's the same idea as ones we've had before; you put colored beads on pegs and then iron them so that they stick together. This kit makes a princess, a frog, a castle, and some other things. Grandmom got the castle and the frog put together, and tomorrow I'm sure we'll do more. What's especially clever about these is that this kit has you make little stands out of beads. I may have to iron some up for all of the cats I made, all those months ago!

Grandmom and I did some weeding. Cara's very hurt because we don't like dandelions as much as she does. I've already upset her a couple of times this year by telling her not to blow the white ones. Today I just asked her to pick all of the yellow flowers she could find. The down-side was that she then brought them to me and wanted me to do something with them.

We took a walk to the park! Owen came, too, in his stroller. He was mostly good. Cara is getting better and better at swinging on the big-girl swings, and she loved showing Grandmom the new-ish playground equipment. I'm really glad we all got outside to enjoy the beautiful weather, because it's supposed to rain for three days!

4/25/10 (Sunday)

I had an exciting night, because not only did I get up with Owen a few times, I also got to change Cara's sheets when she woke up wet (which happens quite often these days, unfortunately). But Owen was pretty good in the morning. He is a good baby who generally wants to go back to sleep after his nighttime bottles.

Today was supposed to be a fairly lazy day, since I think Evie and I both felt we'd done our share of chores yesterday. However there was more laundry to be done and one or two other tasks that seemed to keep us quite busy into the afternoon. One of these tasks was making more bead princesses for Cara--I made two today.

In the afternoon, we got ourselves packed up and headed to Middletown. Our first stop was Grandmama and Grandpapa's house, where we dropped off little Owen. Then the three of us headed for Aunt Claire's house, where we dropped off Cara with Aunt Casie. When packing for the trip, Evie had urged the child to pick out any toys she might want at the house. Cara refused all suggestions of toys or entertainment. "They have lots of movies there," she said. Poor Casie was forced to sit through another viewing of The Jungle Book, while Evie and I got a chance to go out to dinner with no children in tow for the first time in a long while. We had a wonderful time.

When we returned, Casie and Cara were watching the movie version of Cats, and both of them were enjoying themselves. In the short couple of hours that we'd been gone, they had been very busy. The child had created a giant cardboard girl with yarn hair and glittery paint, gotten out some balloons, and drawn a big picture of Puma holding a pair of fish (which someone started referring to as "fish mitts"). Casie carefully cut Puma out and so we have a big cardboard cutout Puma with fish mitts. Evie and Claire went out to pick up Owen, and Casie dutifully completed the weaving of Cara's little potholder project.

By the way, one of the balloons at the house was one that Cara got on Thursday at the diner where she goes with Grandmama for dance class night dinner. The balloon traveled to Grandmama's house, where it was forgotten; the child was reunited with the balloon today. As we drove off to Claire's house in the afternoon, having just gotten the balloon back, Cara marveled at the curly ribbon and wondered aloud how "George" had managed to curl it like that. Ev and I were astonished.

We stayed at Claire's house long enough to see Cats to the end, and it was pretty late in the evening by the time we got in the car. Owen was at first not in a good mood. Ev and I said a few comforting phrases to him. As the car got going, Cara added her own voice to the mix: "Little buudddy!" she shouted, over and over again. "Liiitttle buuudddyy! It's OK!!" In between laughing, we tried to tell Cara that he'd gotten the idea.

4/26/10 (Monday)

The phone rang twice tonight while we were getting the kids to bed, and we didn't answer either time. Owen, who really generally loves his bed time and enforces it himself, was having a tough time. He'd been needy since precisely 7:20, at which time Steve had asked why Owen was not fussing, it being 7:20. Em used to point out that Casey always fussed then, and Owen's been carrying on Nancy Circle tradition. With Daddy's reminder, Owen immediately began. I held him for a long time, since he was not put-down-able. One high point of the night for me was when I had Owen in my arms, Cara in the bath, and Buster wandering in in hopes of being petted. Eventually Steve got to wrassle with the boy. Sadly, that half hour or so was all they saw of each other today. Owen was not at his best.

I got to read to Cara. Last night Steve had read the two Just So stories I'd gotten from the library, and tonight I pulled out a big book of all of them. The illustrations are nice, but the text is far denser, with just a few pictures for each story. To my delight and mild surprise, Cara insisted on sitting through three of them tonight, pictures or no pictures. We read about how the camel got him hump, how the rhinoceros got his skin, and finally how armadillos came to be. There were a lot of things that I could appreciate differently now from when I was small, but the stories were also just how I remembered. I'll be glad to keep reading those to Cara for a long time.

So, no, neither of us was able to answer the phone.

4/27/10 (Tuesday)

Today was a busy day for me and Owen. The biggest event: we drove down to Philadelphia to visit CHOP and meet Owen's anesthetists for next Wednesday's operation! The hospital, of course, is very nice, and the place I had to take him was right along the way I'll have to go when the big day arrives, so now I know my way. Owen's weight gain is right on target; he's ten pounds and four or five ounces with his clothes on. He's grown more than an inch in the past three weeks.

The part the nurse practitioners who examined him were interested in was listening to his heart. His murmur is still quite audible, but today was the first time anyone's ever said it was soft. She explained, though, that it might actually get louder as it closes up, and, since the blood is being forced through smaller and smaller openings, the pitch may change, getting higher. That makes sense! The murmur may have seemed softer today than it has in the past, though, because Owen is "a squeaker and a talker." He was in a wonderful mood when he was being examined, and he was expressing himself freely, chatting with me and the nurses. He does certainly like hospitals.

The tough part was when he had blood drawn. I hadn't thought about it before, but I guess they really can't stick a needle into such a tiny vein. The woman had to puncture his little heel and sort of collect the blood in a small vial as it came out in drops. First she used a warming pack on his foot to get things flowing. He fought valiantly against us both as she was trying to take his blood; we all got a nice workout. He ended up with three Bugs Bunny band aids. I'm very glad he happened to be wearing an outfit without attached feet.

So, next Tuesday I will call to see when he's scheduled to arrive. He can have formula up to four hours before his arrival time, and it is definitely a good idea to feed him at the last minute. He can have pedialyte up to two hours before. I figure that'll surprise him! When we arrive I'll sign some papers, and they'll give him some Tylenol. They'll take him away and put him to sleep using a mask before they even put in his IV, so he'll miss that part. Afterwards, he'll have plenty of pain medication and our goal will be to keep him comfortable and also to gradually get him back on his regular diet. I will get to sleep on a couch sort of thing, which makes me think I'll get the same treatment poor Steve has gotten every time I've been in the hospital. It'll be fair. I'll bring him home on Thursday with a prescription or two for pain meds, and eventually we'll just give him Tylenol.

It's going to feel weird to be back in a hospital again. I'm glad it's only for one night. I'd been feeling confident about this, and people have been telling me it's pretty minor, but thinking about Owen being taken away from me is kind of scary. I have to keep reminding myself that it'll be good when it's over and that he really does need to get this done.

From the hospital, we drove back up north (stopping for lunch for me--one exciting thing: a person who was told that Owen was three months old said, "Oh, he's a big one!" It was the first time he's gotten that! Clearly, she was confused.) and straight to Yellow Brick Road, where we got to visit the Infant and Toddler Center when it was populated with infants and toddlers. I met a lot of the teachers and of course have not remembered their names. I wish they had a wall of pictures with names, like the NICU nurses! It's a friendly, happy, homey place. There are cribs, but some of the babies never sleep in them, sticking with bouncers and things instead. They have our exact bouncer, but Owen will be sleeping in something that looks awfully posh. I looked it up: it's the Fisher-Price Soothing Motions Glider. It looks like a comfy cradle on a big electronic base, and it just swooshes back and forth or side to side. I think he'll love it. He'll be by far the tiniest guy there, until, of course, someone else shows up. The next ones are at least four months ahead of him. I was glad Owen was nice and awake and friendly during the visit. I'm sure he'll be happy there.

I felt like the poor kid had to spend the whole day in his car seat! At YBR, I left it in the car and just toted him around. We drew a crowd when we went to get Cara. However, we had to extricate ourselves and get going, because it was swimming class today! That was fun, of course, but it felt good to get home afterwards. Owen was happy to be out of the car seat and out of my arms and get to stretch out on the floor for a while. I was happy, too.

I got out Grandpop's Flip camera to take some video of Owen playing. Cara wanted to be in the picture. She posed. Eventually I explained that it was a video. She wanted to hold it. I let her, so that I could play with Owen. She almost immediately wandered off to take a long movie of Deesta sitting in a high chair, with a soundtrack of me asking her what in the world she's doing. Then she got some footage of her zhu zhu pet, except that she put the camera down for some of it. Then she gave it back to me, claiming to have turned it off. I'm not sure why she thought that. I continued shooting Owen, who was still happily looking around, squirming, and talking. Cara turned on Peter Pan, so the movie includes us discussing the finer points of the movie and her telling me to be quiet.

4/28/10 (Wednesday)

Miss Jane was reading to the lollipops when I came in to get Cara today, but she extricated herself in order to talk to me. I admit, that made me slightly nervous! It turns out that Cara's crush on Adrian and his crush on her are progressing swimmingly. At circle time, Adrian had to squirm and weave and maneuver his way over in order to sit next to her. Later, outside, he fell down and hurt his knee. Cara, across the playground: "Oh, poor Adrian!" I told Miss Jane I'd been expecting to hear that there had been a fight or something. No, apparently the new lollipop, Rodney, is now the object of Aeshna's affections! How fortunate.

Tonight was the happy resumption of the Loeffler-Genzano Nancy Circle Wednesday Night Playdate! I got a lot of the setup for dinner done when Owen was quiet in the afternoon, so the night wasn't too crazy; I just had to stick things in the oven. Everyone was very, very happy to be back to normal. It was loud and crazy and chaotic. Added on top of the regular kid noise and toy noise, Owen had his traditional evening fuss. It feels really, really good to be back to our old routine!

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