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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

4/1/10 (Thursday)

Steve said to do an April Fools journal, but I can't figure out which idea to use. Plus, I'm tired!

We just got Netflix, and sometimes I try to watch something while I'm giving Owen a bottle. It makes him mad! He thinks that that time is special time and we should be using it as we always do, to stare at each other. He actually seems to fuss when I'm not looking at him.

He was fussy when I left him with Juliana today. He wasn't sure whether or not he wanted his bottle. When I got back he was lying on her lap having some play time. They were talking about how nice it was to just get to kick your feet. It is. He was clearly a very happy baby. Juliana insists, and I tentatively agree, that he smiles for real.

It was a beautiful day, and Owen got to spend some time outside, lying on a blanket, kicking his feet and being happy.

Casey: What's he doing?

Me: He's looking at things.

Two minutes later:

Casey: What's he doing?

Also:

Casey: Is he a boy or a girl?

4/2/10 (Friday)

Yellow Brick Road was closed today for the holiday, so I decided to take the day off from work and stay home with everybody. Cara requested a bismark for breakfast, and we let Mommy sleep a little late while it got made. Our big event of the morning was egg-coloring, which Cara has been wanting to do for a while. The Loefflers were unavailable to come over and help, so it was just the three of us. Mommy bought a "tie-dye" egg-coloring kit in addition to the more normal dye tablets, and I had a lot of fun trying out the tie-dye method. It involved putting the eggs in plastic bags and rubbing dye over them in the bag. It was fun--my fingers are still a little colorful. Cara helped color on some eggs, put stickers on some, and hold some down in the cups of dye. We colored a big bunch of eggs but still felt we could have done more.

After lunch the whole family went out to purchase a present for Emily, whose birthday party is tomorrow. Then Mommy stayed out to do some errands of her own while I took the kids home. Owen was very cooperative and snoozed through our outing and continued snoozing while Cara and I played computer games. Then Mommy got home and we packed him right back into the car to go to Claire's house for Passover. He woke up mad before we made it to the house, but he didn't fuss too much. The car is a good place for a baby to be.

At Claire's we got to see Casie and GiGi and Grandmama and Grandpapa. Claire was there, too. Cara had a good time playing outside with Grandmama and running around inside with Casie's collection of plastic whales and various other objects. (She brought a huge bag of toys from home, which was never opened during the visit.) Cara still loves gefilte fish. Somehow the matzoh didn't do it for her this time, which was somewhat odd. She's has a cough at the moment, so maybe it was just too dry for her throat. We couldn't convince her to ask the introduction to the four questions ("Why is this night different from all other nights?"), which the youngest person in the household is supposed to ask--I think she just got too shy. It was even a bit of a struggle to get her to hide the afikoman matzoh from Aunt Claire, but once we got her to do it, she got into it. She pointed out to Claire that it was missing and then actually drew a map to help lead her aunt to the hidden matzoh.

I think Cara is using more big words lately and is sometimes asking me what words in books mean, which is cool. On the way home tonight she made a comment about the lights being on at a car dealership we were passing. It was late at night, but they still had their lights on. I began explaining how this was a way of deterring burglars. "What?" Cara asked, confused. Evie and I together started talking about how if you were a thief, you wouldn't want to steal things with the lights on, because then everyone can see you. "Huh?" said Cara. You don't want people to see you, because then you'll get caught. But stealing is wrong! we added. You shouldn't do it. We parents somehow got ourselves into a lot of trouble trying to explain that. It went on for some time, and was very convoluted. "But I did steal something today," Cara pointed out. "What?!" I cried. She reminded me that she had stolen the afikoman from Claire. "But that's different," we said. "It was...pretend." Then Cara asked us who Elijah was, and after a few false starts, I gave up and said "We'll talk about it later."

My proudest moment of the day was in the car on the way home, when I realized what a good thing it was that I had not explained that Elijah was "imaginary, like Santa Claus." I think that was good.

4/3/10 (Saturday)

Cara and I went to Emily's birthday party today; her actual birthday is tomorrow, the same as mine. It was an all-girls make-up party at her house, which is actually pretty close to here. There were a lot of fun games and activities at the party, including a session in which each girl got a set of lip gloss with nine colors and a bottle of roll-on body glitter. The girls loved it all and it went on with . . . great enthusiasm. It was a party with everything; there was dancing, pin-the-purse-on-the-Barbie, a pinata, arts and crafts, and of course pizza and cake. During the pin-the-whatever, Miss Grace, who is actually Emily's aunt, got to say, "You guys know that when you're blindfolded, you can't see, right?" She explained that the idea is that it's supposed to be funny that you can't stick the sticker on right. It's a tough concept.

The second half of the party was outside in the back yard. It was a beautiful day! It was just what I'd imagined the days would be like when we'd have Cara's parties. Then it's been rainy and cold for four years. The pinata was a pull-string one, and each girl got to hold three strings. Cara was definitely excited about the pinata, but she's just not able to push her way in in these situations. She stood there while the other girls clustered around the pile of loot, until a grown-up helped her in. I'm assured that neither Claire nor I ever handled things like that, either. I take it as a sign of refinement. Once she got in there, she got plenty of stuff, though. There were lots of little plastic toys and things, not just candy. She very nicely gave me a lovely plastic ring of my very own. It's the second prize I've gotten out of Emily's birthday. On Thursday, Cara came home with a goodie bag in which there was a package of three marshmallow frogs: as Cara saw it, that meant one for herself and one for each parent. Their eyes were "fresh-made candy!" she declared. Steve didn't finish his.

The girls, left to their own devices, mostly had a ball playing outside. There were a few occasions where feelings got hurt, but everyone got over it and played together again, happily. It was reassuring to see that, actually! There was a toy baby carriage that was too small for them, and that was a big favorite. Deesta, who of course had come, got to ride in it in her shiny pink evening gown. The girls got to decide to be "sisters" (of each other? of the "baby"?) while they pushed the carriage around. On their own they also played a game called "What Time is it, Mr. Wolf?" which involved a lot of running around. One person got to be the wolf and chase everyone else and try to eat them, apparently, after something or other happened at the other end of the yard. Cara has not obliged me with an explanation. She did take several turns as wolf, though, with enthusiasm. At one point, she and another little girl decided they were both Mrs. Wolf.

We headed to Middletown for my birthday party afterwards. I'm happy to see that Cara actually sings "Happy Birthday" now, which she's probably been doing for a while without my noticing. She also started singing "Sto Lat" with the rest of us, which really is cool.

4/4/10 (Sunday)

It's Easter, and I'm 33 years old, and Steve and I became an uncle and aunt today! We couldn't go meet Griffin, because neither of our children would have been allowed beyond the waiting room, but we'll go next weekend.

A few days ago, I bought two birthday cards for Evie and a little plastic easter egg with candy and stickers in it for Cara. The one birthday card I stuck in with Ev's gifts, and the other one, which was Backyardigans-themed, I decided would be the perfect card for Cara to give to her mommy (I admit this did not occur to me until after I purchased the card). So yesterday I got Cara to put her name in it while Mommy was otherwise occupied--she also drew a pirate ship with people waving on it. This morning Cara got to give the card.

It was very hard to hide the easter egg in Cara's room, because she spends her mornings following me around, hoping I will do something for her instead of doing chores. But eventually I had a few seconds and hid the thing among some of her clementine crates (which you may recall do duty as doll beds). Then I told Cara that something crazy had just happened and I had spotted the Easter Bunny in her room. I don't think she really bought that, but she was happy enough to get the egg.

Later in the morning we had a quick egg hunt outside with PJ and Casey. PJ had a shiny wooden sword which was very good for holding his easter basket handle. The kids came inside once or twice and had plenty of opportunities to ask what Owen was doing. Cara had some trouble asserting herself during the wild hunt for eggs, but she did manage to get about the same number as everyone else (I think).

After all this we had to rush and pack ourselves up to drive over to Pennsylvania and have Easter at my cousin Cheryl's house. It was the first time that we got to show off Owen to Sally, Ron, Andrea, Cheryl, Tito, and little Lily. Lily has grown a lot since the last time we saw her and is now toddling like crazy all over the place. She very much wanted to hold Owen, but we had to convince her not to. Her Mommy said she could only touch his feet. Owen was a good boy and spent most of the time sleeping. Cara got a nice birthday present and an easter basket. I think her favorite item was a pair of sunglasses decorated with butterflies--she wore them a lot and bounced them on her head. She had two big bowls of Italian wedding soup and then wandered off to continue watching Toy Story on TV. She eventually returned for dessert and had two pieces of cake.

We had a lovely time and were glad that everyone got to see our new baby. Although I have to admit that it was odd to hear people talk about Owen as if he were a newborn--he's almost three months old! Griffin is the new one, and we are very much looking forward to visiting him. He is now Evelyn's Birthday Buddy.

4/5/10 (Monday)

Owen is eleven weeks old! We went to the pediatrician today, which of course he enjoyed. He didn't get to see a doctor at all last week, which I'm sure upset him. He weighs eight pounds twelve ounces, one ounce less than Griffin. He's 21 inches long, four more than when he was born. On the "preemie scale" he's in the 50th percentile. He's not quite on the regular scale, but he'll catch up. The normal milestones that the doctor asked about were having a "social smile" and babbling. I think that both of those are things he's almost got. Which is fine.

RSV season is ending. Owen won't get another dose of the medicine for it. I asked whether Cara still needed to take a bath when she got home. She does. I asked when she could stop. Apparently there is no end in sight, because we don't want Owen to get anything and there are lots of things she could bring home.

His digestion is still bad, though, and what the doctor said to do was to give up dairy products altogether, including chocolate, and give him only milk that I've just pumped, none of the frozen stuff. I knew this sounded challenging, but it wasn't until after I'd left the office that it started to all sink in and sort of overwhelm me. I've been pumping less and less often, so now I need to increase again to get more fresh milk. That's hard to do, just because of the time it takes! I was so happy to be slowing down, too. Avoiding dairy is easy to agree to do and hard once you think about it. Chocolate, too. I'd also really been ready to stop bathing Cara at the same time I'm trying to make dinner.

I spent the rest of the day being pretty upset. Cara didn't notice. I think Owen did. I also upset him directly. I thought things would be easier and better if he would breast feed, and I knew it would make him mad. I figured if I tried it for a few days he'd get used to it. I tried it, and he worked at it for about forty minutes before becoming absolutely hysterical. Out of control. Until I got him a bottle, which he took most of. I don't know. I may keep trying. I may not. It's hard. It's hard to think that all that milk in the freezer, which fills two thirds of the freezer, might be a waste. We don't even know yet, though, whether it's dairy that'll make the difference.

I was really really ready to be normal. I need to calm down and see what the next few days bring.

4/6/10 (Tuesday)

I talked to a lactation consultant today, and I feel much better. She said his symptoms don't sound bad and probably were triggered by a virus that has to run its course. He could, though, be having "lactose overload," which is something that happens when moms have a large supply of milk. Babies get too much foremilk and not enough hindmilk, which is sort of like eating too much Halloween candy. The baby grows nice and big, but his tummy's upset. That sounds like Owen. I'd seen information like that on the internet last night, so it was really nice to hear it from someone real! The advice on the internet, of course, was for people who are actually breastfeeding. For me, the plan is to dump the first five minute's worth of milk and then keep pumping. The only hitch is that I'd been pumping less often and not really getting as much milk anymore, so now I'm working hard to make sure I pump every three hours to get as much good milk as I can.

Owen is doing better. I'm not sure whether that's because of the hindmilk feedings I've already given him or because he's just worked his way through whatever this was. Possibly both. One thing I wish I'd talked to the consultant about this morning is how long I should be doing this, assuming it helps. I may call again, but I'm guessing that once he's been normal for a few days I can go back to normal, too. One thing I saw, in all of my research, is that a lot of these conditions are temporary.

We had a really pleasant day today. Owen was awake through a lot of my chores and errands, and he was mostly just sort of hanging out. At the grocery store, he started to cry just as we got to the front of the check-out line. I gave him his bottle, and the cashier rang up our things, bagged them in the bags I'd brought, and then came around to put them into the cart!

I ran late picking up Cara for swimming lessons, partly because of my resolve to pump more often. I thought Owen would need a bottle, so I made sure to bring one. Fortunately, he slept in the car. Then he slept in the locker room. Then he slept when she went in to class. Eventually I picked him up, assuming he'd wake up and eat. It would be easier to feed him during class than after! He slept through it. I was not looking forward to getting home and having to give Cara a bath while giving him a bottle. It turned out that I needed to do neither. Cara told me that last week she'd noticed that they had showers in the locker room. She wanted to use one. OK, I said. We found a little alcove one with a curtain, but that wasn't what she'd been thinking of. There was a big room in the back with a dozen shower heads around the wall, complete with soap dispensers. I set Owen down in the doorway and figured out how to turn one on for her; she stripped off her suit and rinsed off the chlorine. While she was coming out and getting dried off, Owen woke up. I gave him his bottle while she dressed, and then she held it for him while I packed up! It seemed so nice to have all of those chores out of the way, that I figured a treat was in order. We stopped at Rita's on the way home.

On the way home from Rita's, we noticed the park. It was a nice day to go to the park. After dinner, Steve and Cara headed there in the car. I cleaned up, and then Owen and I walked there. Cara often says that Owen is surprised by things. She's mainly imagining that. Tonight, however, I do think he was surprised to be out at dusk. He hasn't been outside except in the daytime since he came home. Cara ran over when we arrived, to hug me and say hi to Owen. Then, "Come on, Owen!" and she ran off across the grass to the swings. I pushed him after her, and he had his second real surprise: grass is bumpy!

Soon we all got into the car to head home to bed.

4/7/10 (Wednesday) Happy Birthday, Cara!

Cara is five! She's a big girl now. She wore a nice new outfit to preschool and brought along sunglasses to hand out to everyone. As a treat, we sent in strawberries, pound cake cut into cubes, and chocolate dipping sauce. It was a great opportunity for me to buy these cute paper plates where the plate is an animal's face and the two ears are little holes for sauces. According to Miss Jane, this was a big hit. When I asked Cara how people had liked it, she told a story about how Emily just didn't want one particular strawberry which a boy had apparently touched and gotten his germs on and she just didn't want it. Frankly, neither would I. Cara finally got to wear the birthday crown that Miss Kathy made her two or three weeks ago when Cara was convinced that her birthday was the next day.

Poor Owen had a fussy day in which he wasn't very interested in being put down. His tummy hurt. This is upsetting, because I'm trying hard to help it stop hurting him. So he and I both had a tough time. We did, though, go out to lunch with some of my work friends, and he slept nicely through that.

It was actually a very festive day for me and Owen; in the evening, we went out to dinner with Juliana for Cara's birthday. Conveniently, we've discovered that either Juliana or I can sit in the back seat between the two kids! Like last year, we went to On the Border. Cara told the waiter that it was her birthday; she was feeling very friendly. She also waved to the hostess when she was walking by to seat other people. When dessert came, the waiters and waitresses sang Happy Birthday! Cara loved it. At OTB this event involves quite a bit of loud banging; I saw Owen open his eyes wide in astonishment. Seconds later, he was asleep again.

GiGi called to say happy birthday. In cards we've gotten, she's had a problem spelling. She's addressed them to "Nown." At least, I thought it was a spelling problem. I told her about our evening, and she said, "Oh, it was Nown's first time at restaurant!" Grandpapa points out that Aunt Claire, now over 30, has never yet been anything but Clara. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

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