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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

7/2/09 (Thursday)

Preschool was, once again, wonderful. Cara and I also had another nice walk around Highland Park after I picked her up; today we bought some groceries and some fancy desserts from the Asian bakery. The Smuga-family dinner night was held up here, so soon everyone showed up. Cara very happily settled in the art room with both Grandmama and Daddy drawing for her on command. She also did some helping. She set a napkin at every place, and she went outside with Aunt Claire to cut some cilantro. While they were out there, Cara found what I assume Claire identified for her as a seed. I think it may have been one of a million or so pits from our cherry tree, or its something similar. Cara brought it into the house in triumph, and after everyone went home I took her outside and we planted it. I'm sure something will come up there.

At dinner, we were talking about The Ox-Cart Man. There was some dispute about certain occurrences or lines, and, for the first time in her life, Cara got up from the table and ran to get a book. Now's she's really joined the family!

In the car in the morning, on our way to preschool, Cara posited that "those other kids might remember that I'm still Cara!" I think they still will, next Tuesday.

7/3/09 (Friday)

Independence Day celebration with the Loefflers and grandparents! That's what happened on Friday, because it was the day of the Red Bank fireworks. Cara actually had a nap in the afternoon, and then we packed ourselves up and headed down to Middletown. We immediately began discovering all of the things we'd forgotten to bring, the most important of which was a swimsuit. Grandmama had set up a couple of kiddie pools out back. Ev and Grandpapa took an emergency trip to the store to purchase some swimsuits. PJ and Casey and Em and Ron arrived soon, and the kids quickly repaired to the back yard and had fun in the pools. We grown-ups were doubtful about it since there was a lot of shade at that point in the afternoon, but the kids didn't mind the cold water at all and had a blast.

Then it was time for a nice barbecue and fried chicken dinner! Then it was off to the park to watch the fireworks! Mommy had purchased a lot of cool glowing things for us to play with. I think Cara's favorite item was a mid-size US flag, which she waved with great enthusiasm before we even got to Middletown (she wanted to go outside our house and wave it to the block in general). In the park, Cara insisted that we march in a parade with the flag. She did a lot of marching with Grandmama and PJ and some with me, sometimes singing an improvised song having to do with marching and flags.

Cara decided to be afraid of the sound of fireworks this year, which I don't remember being the case last year. She jumped and made horrified noises at random pops that we heard before the actual display. Once it went off, she still claimed to be afraid, but she sat through the whole thing and enjoyed the various colors and explosions and shapes. (Casey meanwhile described a few of the booms as "Big monster farts.") Over the course of the short show, Cara spent some time sitting with pretty much everybody there: Mommy and Daddy, Em and Ron, and in Grandmama's lap.

The show didn't even start until 9 and by the time we finally got home it was around 11! It was late enough and long enough a day that we managed to successfully transfer a sleeping Cara from the car into her bed without her really waking up. Yay!

7/4/09 (Saturday)

We ended up celebrating Independence Day at home this year, going over to PJ's house for a cookout in the afternoon. Two wonderful and remarkable things happened earlier: We talked Cara into taking a nap after lunch, and while we were distracted she ran off. I heard noises and found her up in bed with a book, waiting for me to read to her. She stayed down without napping for an hour or so, which she's been doing lately, and later I took a little nap on the couch. Sometimes we try to be quiet when one of us is sleeping, but we've never really done well. Steve always wakes up when Cara and I try to let him sleep in. Today, though, things were wonderfully quiet. Steve and Cara even came upstairs for a snack and didn't bother me!

The cookout was fun; the three kids got juice boxes and ate on a big picnic blanket! There was a lot of running around and even some water-gun shooting, as well as playing on the swing set. After dinner we came back here; Steve had lit the tiny charcoal grill I bought yesterday. It took a while for it to get hot, but eventually it was going strong. Juliana was here, and Gene and Miriam came over, too. Everyone over ten tried a s'more. The kids, unfortunately, preferred their marshmallows raw. Poor things don't know what they're missing!

All of the kids got baths and came back out in pajamas. It was dark enough to chase fireflies and catch them, and we got out our second batch of glow sticks. Having failed to make them into round lanterns as the package suggested, we played pick-up-sticks in the dark. We had light saber fights on the sidewalk as we (well, some of us) watched fireworks go off over the trees.

I've been regretting that we only use these glow sticks for so short a time when they last for hours, so I'm glad that tonight Cara is going to sleep with a glass full of them in her room.

7/5/09 (Sunday)

I think Cara's subconscious was close to the surface or something today, because all sorts of interesting things kept popping to the surface, things she clearly has been thinking about for a while. For instance, when I went up to take a shower, she came with me. "Mommy," she said, "JoJo always . . . sometimes . . . once JoJo took a shower with her mommy, and today I thought we could do that." It's well over a week since she's seen JoJo, so this has definitely been percolating.

I agreed to try it, and she was gleeful. In she got. I don't think we ever found a place for her to stand where her face wasn't getting wet, but we did wash her hair. Then she was done, and she hopped out, and I called Steve to come and take towel duty, quick!

We went to the supermarket together, and Cara had more to think about. She was worried. "Mommy, if you went home without me, I wouldn't know the way home!" We got to talk about getting lost. We've talked about it before, but she's never brought it up.

Grandmom and Grandpop came! We had a cookout, and Cara and Grandmom made the fanciest hopscotch court I've ever seen on the driveway. It's decorated with animals and houses and flowers and everything. When we ate, Grandmom and Grandpop tried to convince Cara that her hot dog bun was made of bread. This is a distinction that is very difficult to grasp. We toasted more marshmallows, and I did a mini-marshmallow for Cara. After that, she wanted another not-toasted one. Surprise! Cara had a big magnifying glass, and Grandpop showed us how it can burn a hole in paper. Cara was alarmed. I liked it! At one point, someone brought up Cocoa, a dog Jim and Janet had when the boys were little. "Is Cocoa dead?" asked Cara. Then, somberly, "My kitties might die soon, too."

Later in the afternoon, after my nap, I ordered pizza. Cara and I went to play downstairs while we waited. She was putting on a show with her girls, and Puma and I were the audience. Puma was tired, too. Cinderella was a ballerina-singer, the star of the show. Sleeping Beauty dressed up in a swimsuit and flippers; she was a duck. She floated around the stage in a boat. "Oh, little duck," sang Cinderella, "I've helped you so much!" Jasmine got to borrow a dress from Cinderella and be a queen. Then, Cinderella sang, "We need a mermaid in here!/ Maybe Ariel/ She is upstairs;/ We have to get her/ Before the pizza-man gets here!" Well, I can take a hint. After the mermaid arrived, there was more singing. Then the mermaid went to sleep on her face in the water while Cinderella sang, "I have to tie my ballerina shoes!/ I'm bending down to tie my ballerina shoes!" Then the pizza-man got here.

Steven and his parents were walking their dogs again and stopped at Juliana's. Cara saw them, so out we went, with our three-D chalk. There is art all the way along the sidewalk in front of both of our houses now. Steven, of course, is younger than Cara, so what kept happening was that she'd draw something and he'd want to help or participate and draw on it, and she'd get upset. Everybody was drawing, though, so it all worked out. It was funny to see them squabble like siblings, though! Both of them were upset when it was bath time. He cried. Cara didn't. He wouldn't say goodbye. Cara would, because there's nothing that'll make her behave like seeing someone else who won't!

We've had two late nights in a row. I'm glad to be back to normal.

7/6/09 (Monday)

Yesterday Cara showered with me and leaped out halfway through. Today, to my surprise, she came up for another round. The shower used to be ten minutes of solitude with water as hot as I wanted it; no more, I fear! When she first got in she was scared of the water and claimed it hurt, but soon she was getting right in there, washing herself and having an all-around good time. She hogs the water. It was fun, though! Next she needs to learn to dry herself.

The excitement of the morning was our trip to the library. We got to go to the special Summer Program table, and Cara circled the number 9 on her chart, because she'd read nine library books. When she's read twelve, she'll get a special gold medal! We picked out lots of good new books, including The Philharmonic Gets Dressed, which is a favorite I remember from my childhood. You get to see them all take showers and baths, do their hair, get their clothes on, and then go and play in the orchestra.

Several exciting things happen in Peter Pan. We've developed a little routine. When we first see the pirate ship, Cara briefly sees a pirate taking a bath. I affect to be unable to quite catch him; what I see is a pirate sitting on a railing, using a knife to scratch his armpit much as one might use a sponge to wash oneself. When Pan is foiling Hook's attempt to maroon Tiger Lily in Skull Rock, Pan, according to Cara, gives Smee a horn. Which Smee honks. What I see is Smee with a pistol which, I admit, looks somewhat hornlike. When he fires it and everyone thinks he's shot the captain, his actions could be interpreted as enthusiastic honking of a horn. Maybe.

In the afternoon, when I had started to feel recovered after yesterday's intense discussions, we had another wonderful conversation while watching Peter Pan.

Cara: People don't really die.

Me: ?!

Cara: They don't, really. [something I didn't catch] get smaller and smaller!

Me: They, do, though, really. I had two grandpas who died.

Cara: Did they come back?

Me: No, it doesn't work like that. [Here I explained who they were and offered to get out pictures of them. This was met with enthusiasm.]

Me: Here, this is my Grandpa Fred, holding me when I was a baby.

Cara: When I was a baby and I came out, were you holding me?

Me: . . . yes.

Cara: How did I get out?

Me: . . . I pushed you out.

Apparently this was enough of heavy emotional topics for one day, because we didn't cover how she got in there or anything else; we went back to marching around with an American flag, singing, "following the marching parade!"

7/7/09 (Tuesday)

After a refreshing shower, Cara headed to preschool and had a great day. It's beach week, and they all got to draw sea creatures and then try to move like them. Cara can move like a dolphin.

Casey, meanwhile, has a new hobby, telling us what she used to do when she was a tiny baby. When she was a tiny baby, Casey, among other things: drove a school bus, ate in the carseat cup holder, rode around and around on the ceiling fan, crawled through purple and pink flowers, and drove one of those big trucks that carry diggers and things.

7/8/09 (Wednesday)

Last week, Cara got to preschool early both days. This week, we're back to normal. Normal in the summer is getting there a little after nine. Now, though, we throw a shower on top of our leisurely routine. I got home from dropping her off a little before ten.

In the entryway, they have a calendar with special events marked. Yesterday, I had noticed, was gymnastics. Cara didn't say anything about it in the afternoon, though, and I didn't ask specifically. This morning, though, she told me spontaneously. Yesterday they did gymnastics just like Cara used to do at the big gym. They had monkey bars and she got to be a cool monkey, and they had balance beams. Did they walk on them? They hopped like bunnies. Whatever else she learns at preschool, she'll be a great animal-imitator.

At the grocery store, I ran into Emma's mom. She says that Emma still wants to be just like Cara, in spite of not having seen her in a couple of weeks. She wants to have things like the things Cara has, do things the way Cara does. I was able to relate a conversation Cara and I had just this morning, in which Cara claimed to be going to Emma's house, because there is a bouncy castle there, but she doesn't think Emma has a room like hers. Then she started talking about the basements in our house and in Emma's, and at that point I was pretty lost.

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