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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

10/4/07 (Thursday)

This morning Cara asked me to give her pigtails. I was so unprepared for this that the first couple times she said it, I couldn't understand her. I had to admit that I didn't know how to do that, but I said I could put clips in her hair. So we did that. It turns out I'm not very good at putting the clips in either. But Susan gave me some tips, so maybe I will get better.

In school today, a boy asked me whether I was coming to the football game, Linwood's first home game of the year. Well, I thought, maybe I am. I wanted to be prepared, so I stopped at home briefly. I thought about bringing Cara a change of clothes, but I knew I had talked to Steve today and I thought, certainly he would have told me if she were wearing anything terrible. I got a snack trap of crackers, the pink sippie cup of water, the giraffes, and Curious George. To the distress of the cats, I was in and out in five minutes.

I got to Susan's and all the kids were waiting on the porch. Cara was wearing her Shorts of Doom. They are adjustable, so a light blue piece of elastic stuck out from the waistband. They were sagging to show an inch or so of diaper. She had on an orange T-shirt that is definitely too small. She did have two very pretty clips in her hair.

What could I do? This may be the only chance for some of my colleagues and students to see her. She is never willing to change clothes when we get home. I just hope that God forgives me for what I did next.

"Cara," I said, "do you want to go to a football game?"

"Yes!"

"We can see cheerleaders! You can wear a pretty skirt like a cheerleader!"

"Yess!!!! I wear pretty skirt, like a cheerleader!"

I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I did that. It worked, though. In the car on the way home, I tried to keep her focused. We talked about the game, the cheerleaders, what cheerleaders do. We talked about what she would wear. Overalls, she suggested. I'm not sure we have overalls. I suggested a skirt, like a cheerleader, again. She wanted to wear her duckie pajamas, too. I suggested pink. She mentioned that I am a teacher. "You ride a school bus!" I explained that I do not ride a school bus, but that I teach kids who do. At the game, perhaps we might see a school bus!

We got home. We went inside. Cara got out her girls. Somehow I got her moving again, heading upstairs, ready to change clothes. I wanted to take a picture of her in her Shorts of Doom, but she was holding my hand and I couldn't go get the camera. We found a pink skirt. I got the shorts off and the pink skirt on. She went to read the Big Book. We found her Rocket shirt and changed her into it. She found a denim skirt and I had to change her into that. She took off her shoes. I put pigtails into her hair. We went downstairs, where Cara sat to play girls. I put some fig netwons into a bag, grabbed her sneakers, and put them all into the car. She missed me while I was outside, and I was able to use that to motivate her to come with me. We were on the road!

Last year, I brought Cara to a game. What a difference, doing it this time! I parked fairly far from the field, so we had a long way to walk. Cara held my hand and walked with me, no complaining at all. She was very happy to look around and tell me all about what she saw. Mostly, she saw people. They were walking. We were walking! We saw school buses. We went up and sat on the bleachers for a few minutes and had a cookie. We said hello to a friend who was there with his little boy, who will be two at the end of December.

Next, we went for a walk and found the cheerleaders. When Cara first saw them doing a cheer, her face lit up! She gave them a good round of applause at the end. We stood right by them and watched for a while, talking to their coach, who has been seeing Cara since she was a tiny baby. I got out some toys, and Cara showed them to her. Then she put them away and got out her snack trap.

Soon we went up into the bleachers again. Cara sat next to me, snuggled in, and had a good snack while she watched the game, the cheerleaders, and the crowd. Now, I really don't like heights. I don't like stairs that you can see between, like that big staircase at the mall. I don't like the bleachers. I especially don't like them with Cara, because she could fall through at any minute! (So could I!) I don't want to pass my fears on to her, though, so we ended up about halfway up, and I sat with my arm securely around her at all times. I think she liked it. I asked her whether she wanted to go to her house. "No. I stay here." She began to get comfortable on the bench. I didn't like that! I kept reminding myself that you don't see articles in the paper every day about kids falling through bleachers, and that if they did, you would hear about it. Cara was very happy. I have no interest in football and very little interest in cheerleading, so I was somewhat bored, aside from the bleacher anxiety; Cara had lots of interesting things to look at.

We stayed through the whole rest of the game. A couple of the cheerleaders did cartwheels, and once they threw another one up into the air. Cara loved it. Then I faced my greatest challenge. There is a little wooden room at the top of the bleachers. Cara wanted to see in. I took her up there. She held both my hands and climbed, though I lifted her up a few steps. At the top of those bleachers, I climbed the rickety-looking wooden steps into the room. It was a nice view. Cara may have found it anticlimactic. Then, I carried her all the way down!

On the ground again, Cara walked out on her own, not holding my hand. She kept making little "come-on!" motions with her hand as she trotted through the crowd. I think she was fascinated by the big kids; she stared at them. We took a slight detour to look at the school buses parked by the curb. One was a North Brunswick Township school bus. When a colleague agreed with me that it would be no problem, we climbed on! My job has not got an awful lot of perks or corporate privileges, but at least I can get my daughter onto a school bus if I want to! She climbed up the steps by herself and went trotting to the back, where she looked out the window. I suggested that we go to the front to sit down, so she climbed onto the front seat. She played with the seat belt, buckling it, but not around herself. She patted the seat so that I would sit with her. "Now a man have d'ive!"

No man drove. We got off, Cara walking down the steps by herself. We walked back to the car, past the dancing kids. (Cara's description, not mine.) She seemed to be flagging in the parking lot, so I pointed out that the spaces were numbered. Soon she was running, pulling me along.

It was a quarter to seven! We went and met Daddy for dinner at Baja Fresh. Cara was very happy to have both of us to hold hands with; she frequently picked her feet up and let herself dangle. This was sometimes inconvenient. She sat in a big girl chair, next to Daddy, to eat. She drank neatly from her juice box. She used a napkin to wipe up tiny spills. She stood up and waved at us whenever we left the table to get anything.

At home, Cara played with her girls by herself downstairs. When she was ready, she came up for her bath. Actually, she had pooped. We had both asked her whether she wanted to go on the potty, but she'd said, "No, fank you." When she was done, she came up and asked to go on the potty and poop. After her bath, I went downstairs to tidy up. The girls were already put away. I really, really love having a two-year-old. I really do.

10/5/07 (Friday)

I went and scrambled the last egg for Cara this morning, and she really didn't want it at all. Might have been because I turned on the TV for the first time this week--it was distracting. May also have been because I burned a pat of butter in the pan before putting the egg in. She did have a piece of toast.

One interesting thing that happened this morning: when I finally did get Cara to sit down in front of her breakfast, she requested that I make her "pudding bread." !! Another task which I was unable to perform.

We were back to green means go, red means stop, though, in the car.

One other event in the morning: we were getting ourselves ready to go to Susan's, and Cara had very conscientiously decided to put on her own shoes. She got the right ones on the right feet and had them both on. We were ready to go! I was impressed and ready to open the front door. At which point Cara pointedly removed one of her shoes, and gestured to me: "Daddy, can you help me?"

I'm told that today Susan asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up (it being the end of Professions Week). PJ, it appears, wants to be a digger. Cara claimed that she wanted to be a teacher! (When asked what she had done yesterday, the only thing she told Susan was that she had been on a school bus--clearly the highlight of the afternoon.) Later this evening, after we had spent some time talking about dressing up for Halloween, Cara claimed that she wanted to do something with kitties when she grew up (feed them? be one? I'm not sure).

At the dinner table, Cara turned to me and said, "I went to the library today, Daddy!" I was pleasantly surprised at this unsolicited piece of personal information, but it turned out it was an outright lie: her Mommy had been to the library before picking Cara up from Susan's.

Cara left the dinner table earlier than her parents--a typical behavior pattern these days--and would periodically call from downstairs, "Mommy, Daddy, I am down here!" Eventually when she called to me I gave in and we played together. I admit I was tired and didn't participate very actively, prompting several requests of "Daddy can you play with me?" Cara had set up a large collection of her Weebles, mainly the three little bears and Driggles the Dragon, at their own little dinner table, where they were quietly eating macaroni and cheese. Cara enjoys offering me the Daddy Bear, and Evie the Mommy Bear. Of course those are the ones we like best, and Cara's favorite is the Baby Bear.

I decided that it would be much easier to play with the Weebles if they had a house with some slides to slide on, so I suggested we get out the great castle Weebalot. Cara agreed and together we lugged it into position, right near the three bears. But there was a problem. Whenever I tried to pick up a bear and have them play on the castle, they couldn't. "No, no," said Cara, "He/She have to sit there," and back they would go at the dinner table. Very ironic, considering her own indifference to the dinner table.

Cara found an ad for some Halloween Superstore, which featured a lot of pictures of kids in costumes. "Diego is on here!" she cried excitedly--indeed, I found there was a little boy dressed unmistakably as Diego. She spent many minutes looking at all the costumes, repeatedly pointing out all the different colors and always stressing that the pink ones were her favorites. Evie tells me that they also looked at the ad together, and Cara had said she wanted to be Dora. She agreed that PJ could be Diego. Who would Casey be? She assumed her highest voice which she uses when talking about cute things: "A tiny Diego!"

This evening for the first time it what seems like ages, we managed to read bedtime stories that did not come from The Big Book. Thanks go to Mommy and her (Caraless) trip to the library.

10/6/07 (Saturday)

I woke up this morning when I heard Cara talking in her crib. When we went into her room, she was very happily playing with her giraffes, who seemed to be sliding down her blanket. Daddy took Cara out, and the first thing she wanted was to sit in the story chair and read a book. Forty minutes later, we headed downstairs.

At Linwood, girls are not allowed to wear spaghetti-strapped shirts. They wear them anyway, with T-shirts under them. Therefore, when Cara discovered and decided to wear her huge spaghetti-strapped Disney princesses shirt that falls off of her, I knew what to do. I found another shirt to go under it. It worked out fine. I had decided last night that I needed a treat after having to cook on a Friday, so when Cara and I had gotten dressed we went out to get doughnuts. "I want a pink doughnut, Mommy, and you want a green one!" That was half true. Cara helped me pick out some coffee for Daddy, and she carried it to the car. Back at home, she ate her pink doughnut very happily and then went downstairs to play with Daddy.

One thing Cara spent a lot of time on today was reading the Lillian Vernon catalog. She read it with Daddy. She read it with me. There was a page with sleeping bags and bean bags, which we could not turn away from. It is unfortunate that they are both things called "bags," because I'm pretty certain that she thought the kids were sleeping in bean bags. When we got in the car, Cara took her catalog with her. She spent the whole drive reading it.

We went to see Grandmom today! We are very happy that she has come home. She and Cara got out lots of toys, but the thing we did the most was play with Play-doh. By the end, in fact, all of the adults were absolutely sick of it. Cara may have gotten tired, too. Grandmom has lots of cookie cutters that we use, and the favorites today were for gingerbread boys and girls. At their height, there were nine, all holding hands. Cara also continued her new habit of cleaning up. She sometimes spontaneously puts away a toy before getting out another. Before we got in the car, she helped us clean up lots of things! Before she got the Play-doh, she cleaned up her cowboys. Cleaning up the Play-doh, though, was too traumatic. Any time we smushed everything up, Cara needed her boys and girls back!

Waking up at home was hard. Again, reading was the solution. Steve and I have each read at least a dozen books today, I think. I got to put Cara in the tub, where I was delighted to find that we have several toys that can be boats for the froggies. Cara spent some time on the potty with her sticker book, which is a huge success. I would definitely buy more when we're done with it; Steve points out that it's nice to have something purposeful to do with stickers. In her pajamas, Cara came downstairs for a snack. She's getting a cold and had little appetite all day, so I was happy to let her eat some cheese. Instead of putting on George, Daddy read to her.

10/7/07 (Sunday)

After her napless Saturday, Cara slept until well after eight today. She woke up perfectly happy, and while she was getting dressed she announced that she wanted to go to the Wiggles show. As a compromise, we offered to take her to the mall. We had breakfast and hung around while Daddy mowed the lawn. (Daddy and I got to visit the cute mice in the shed. Cara doesn't know about them.) The event of the morning was when Daddy came back in and brought us outside to see a snake! It was a little brown one, and it was staying very still in the grass. Eventually Daddy touched it with a stick to get it to run away; it did not go far. Cara ran ahead, saying encouraging things to it, and Daddy had to apply the stick every few inches until it really got going and went to hide in our bushes. Cara had gotten pretty much all the way across the front lawn, saying things like, "Come on, little snake. You can do it!" She added encouraging gestures. It helped a lot. I'm excited about having had a snake. We've had newts, a frog, and mice in the yard, and this is a nice addition to the list.

We did eventually go to the mall. Cara was very excited and even ran part of the way in from the car. Secretly, we went not only to let Cara have fun; Steve and I got new cell phones which should have better reception and which also have cameras, which I thought was very frivolous but now find absolutely necessary. Cara was excited that we could take pictures of her. While we waited, Cara and I went into a Halloween store. We looked at lots of things and eventually bought some makeup and some kitty ears on barrettes.

We had lunch. Cara loved the samples of soup that we let her try. She stood there with her mouth open, waiting for more. When there was actually a bowl of soup to eat, she ignored it. She did eat some of her banana and some of my rice and generally keep herself amused. We were slightly distracted by our phones, and I took a few pictures of Cara. She decided that the right way to pose was with her mouth as wide open as possible. I have some amusing pictures.

I did some vacuuming this afternoon, which Cara found interesting. She frequently got herself into the precarious position of being in front of me, wedged into some sort of corner. I think she enjoyed the drama. No one got sucked up.

It was our turn to baby sit PJ and Casey. When they were in sight, Cara climbed into the bay window to yell to PJ that she was there. While they were here, we had some good times and some bad times. Everyone got turns being buried in the balls and jumping into the balls. We went downstairs and dressed up in our winter clothes. We had a tea party. Everyone ate a lot of fig Newtons, and Cara discovered that she loves frozen blueberries. Cara and PJ slept in our bed and woke up frequently. The kids were all tired, though, having missed some naps, and PJ mysteriously discovered that pink is his favorite color, so there were some bitter fights. We all got through it unscathed, and overall things went well.

Cara's mermaid toy came with a tiny bath tub. That tiny tub, which holds about three tablespoons of water, was full and sitting on the corner of the real tub while Cara had her bath. Thinking hard, Cara picked up her foot and started putting a toe in. "I take bath!" she announced.

10/8/07 (Monday)

This morning, despite Daddy's best efforts, Cara chose a long-sleeved shirt and long pants. It was well over 80 today, so that was not the best outfit to be wearing. However, she was happy. Today Susan taught the kids about fire fighters, and Cara made a nice fire lady on a stick. As usual, Cara has the purple stick. One lesson we're working on is that when you say good-bye to people, you have to say it so that they can hear you. It's going fairly well. On the drive home, Cara told me that fire ladies wear hats and boots and gloves and coats and hats and have two eyes and two ears.

We went right over to show Juliana the fire lady. She was, of course, impressed. Cara went to inspect the house plants out back, which have attractive ornaments in them, but they have gone away. We played in the curtains and filled our bird feeder, and then Em, PJ, and Casey got home. "Em! I am coming! With my fire lady in my hand!" We ran down the street. Cara stopped before she crossed and waited for me to catch up and hold her hand! We got to go inside and jump on PJ's bed for a while, and then I was only able to convince her to leave by telling her that Daddy was home.

Coincidentally, he was. He and Cara played while I made dinner. I made fish for the grown-ups, and for Cara I had bought a shrimp ring. I warmed up eight or nine in the microwave. Cara was eating pasta when I got them out. She asked what they were and was very suspicious about them, but then somehow I tricked her into eating one, and then the rest were history. I am delighted, particularly because hot dogs seem to have lost their charm.

After her bath, Cara was very charming. She spent the evening singing nonsense syllables. She played peek-a-boo with her new baby giraffe from New Mexico. Instead of brushing her teeth, she got out her musical octopus, identified all of the colors and shapes on him, and then exhorted him to hold her hands and dance. She grabbed two of his tentacles, stood up as far as she could without picking him up, and wiggled her bottom. After the dance was done, she said something like "Good job!" and then they each had to take a bow, in the traditional Cara phrasing: "Gabow! Gabow!"

10/9/07 (Tuesday)

It finally got chilly today! Cara and I were both dressed too lightly, so when we got home we went upstairs to change. Well, I did. Cara eventually joined me, and I suggested that she also go and change into something warm and cuddly. By the time I got down the hall to her room, she had her skirt off and some pink sweat pants out.

We went downstairs and had hot chocolate while I cooked dinner. It was pleasant and companionable. Cara wipes up all of her drips. We were downstairs playing with Cara's dress-up girl when Daddy called to say he'd be late. I let Cara talk to him, and it may have been her longest phone conversation ever. She told him we were playing with her girl. "The magnetic girl!" I suggested. She told him the girl was right here. She gestured very helpfully. She nodded in response to whatever Daddy was saying. I reminded her to say yes. She did. It turned out that he was asking, "Are you nodding?"

After dinner, which Cara and I began alone and were almost finished with when poor Daddy got home, Cara wanted to go play again: with her "magnetic girl!" We were impressed that she recalled the phrase. We had a good, long whole-family playtime. The Weebles were the main attraction, though we also got out the alphabet blocks. Cara made some long words! She also got out three old Easter toys, which are strange objects. They're spiny eggs. She carefully placed each of them on an alphabet block that matched its color.

Since we were lining things up, I decided we'd make a pattern. I started. "Pink, red, green. Pink, red, green." On her side, Cara jumped right in. "Pink, pink, pink. Pink, pink, pink."

10/10/07 (Wednesday)

This morning Cara chose some pink sweatpants that she had pulled out last night, and then her pink sweatshirt with ballerinas on it. We went downstairs to have bread pudding, which she is strangely unenthusiastic about. We got to Susan's in good time--lately Cara has been turning around and saying goodbye to me, even with a little bit of sadness, instead of just pulling off her shoes and running to get the best toys.

Mommy and her girl had a pretty typical afternoon. I was unfortunately late again in the evening, as were Em and kids (it was playdate night), so Cara was fairly crabby when I got home. Mommy had gotten out some possible ingredients for dinner, which happened to be cans of soup. Cara did not want them to be ingredients in something else--she wanted soup. There was much impatience and trauma when the soup was too hot to eat. Finally we all sat down to dinner--rather, all of us but PJ, who spent most of his time diligently hammering away at a wooden peg in Cara's tool set. Cara is cleanly to an almost obsessive extent, and at one point managed to have three napkins at her place.

Almost before dinner was over, Cara and I had to rush off to the book store. It was interesting driving Cara at night. She needed the map light on to look at her butterfly book, and kept remarking to me how many cars there were outside. At the store, Cara held my hand and, after a quick visit to some children's books up at the front of the store, led me back to the kiddie area. She pointed out the highlights, mainly the big cutout of Frog from Frog and Toad climbing a ladder. She was very happy to get to the train table. Unfortunately we did not get to spend a lot of time there. I tried to convince her that her Mommy wanted to see her and we had to go back home, but Cara got around this by making me call Mommy. I think the idea was that we had to call her to tell her we were staying the night at the book store.

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