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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

4/19/07 (Thursday)

Cara didn't feel like leaving Susan's today. Everyone was playing outside: Susan, Cara, PJ, and Casey were playing outside. Cara was wearing a new hand-me-down jacket; it was purple with furry cuffs. She spent fifteen minutes playing at a tool bench filled with water before I finally got her to come with me. She was moving pebbles from one well to another. As she ran to the car, finally, drops of water were shaken from her sopping cuffs.

I was very pleased that, when we pulled into the driveway, Cara told me that Daddy was not home. I've been explaining to her about his car being there when Daddy is home, and I'm glad it's stuck. When we came inside the house to get crackers, Cara started looking for Papa. I actually had a message from him and called him back. I got Cara to talk to him on the phone. As I moved it toward her, she said, "Where are you, Papa? I want you!" Into the phone she said hi. After we hung up she played with the phone, talking to Papa for a while.

We went outside to play and I convinced Cara to head for PJ's house. PJ and his mom were in the driveway. When he saw us coming, PJ stepped out, yelling, "Dara! Dara!" Cara ran up the sidewalk, yelling, "Em! Em!"

We played outside for a long time. Em brought out chalk and Steve, who arrived soon, did some drawing. Cara carried a lot of chalk around. At one point she had seven of the big, thick sticks of sidewalk chalk. Her jacket, her old white one, was really lovely by the end of the evening. Carrying that much chalk required a lot of effort and concentration. PJ played with the matchbox cars Cara and I had brought with us. He also made Steve lift him up to try to reach a helicopter passing by, and he rode down the driveway on his Wiggles ride-on again and again, being caught at the bottom by Ron or Steve. Cara tried it a couple of times on another toy.

After some pizza, the kids ran all over the Loeffler house. They were upstairs, where I took their shoes off so that they could jump on the bed. They were downstairs. I don't know what they did, but it must have been fun.

4/20/07 (Friday)

The first thing Cara did when she got here was to climb the stairs looking for "Taire," who was not yet home. Undiscouraged, we explored the great outdoors - there are tiny daffodils next to the deck - and wandered into the park - we didn't even need sweaters in this lovely springtime weather. Cara expressed interest in the merry-go-round, which we have played on before. When we got there, however, she only wanted to see it go around, not ride on it. And we were astonished to find that all the swings have been taken down, presumably to be refurbished.

Moving on, we had a great time in the sand and on the slides and climbing equipment. We tried walking on the log fence; Cara walks on logs that have fallen to the ground - I hold her hands of course. I impress her by walking on the elevated logs. We placed the snack trap and sippy cup on a picnic table; at intervals Cara would declare a picnic and we would sit at the table just long enough for her to sip some water and grab some crackers. And, as always, running in circles on the grass proved to be hilariously funny.

Back at home she demanded her brushes and we did some more water-color painting - a sample has been sent home, adorned with a few stars she earned by brushing her teeth this morning. She has definitely absorbed Claire's lesson about swishing the brush in the water - "Wish! Wish! Wish" she declares. She's not quite so good at getting paint onto the brush, so I sometimes perform that task for her and hand her a brush ready to go.

Cara wasn't hungry when we were - she had already gobbled a slice of Claire's toast - so we ate peacefully while she enjoyed a private audience with her wonderful aunt. Every now and then she emerged from Claire's room adorned with necklaces, one of which she surrendered reluctantly only when bath time arrived. Eventually she found her appetite and settled down to some macaroni and cheese, freeing Claire to go out for the evening.

The evening flew by. We colored, we read, we watched some exquisite dance numbers from Oklahoma. Cara loved the "Many a New Day will Dawn" number - "They dancing," she exclaimed. Before we knew it, it was time for Mickey, Minnie and Donald to have a bath. Cara happily joined them. She washed them with the washcloth, and I did the same favor for her. The watering can turns out to be ideal for rinsing shampoo out of her hair! Amazingly, she became a little froggy to swim, and then a little kitty cat to be dried and dressed. By about 9:20 the kitty cat was in her crib, but much later George could hear her still talking and singing to her toys.

4/21/07 (Saturday)

She slept well past 7 this morning and woke up happily still talking to her toys. They all got up and wanted breakfast, which Grandpapa cooked under Cara's watchful eye. We had several readings of "Five Little Monkeys," an opus full of drama. Cara is quite distressed when one little monkey falls down and has a tear on her cheek. Luckily, on the next page that monkey is smiling while she licks a spoon. Cara brushed with her own toothbrush this time. For some reason she does it in the evening without any incentive, but resists in the morning. She brushed a tiny bit and got one star; she brushed some more and got another star. She reach the teeth in back and was further rewarded. Perhaps I have violated the reward system, but she did brush!

As she did last week, she left happily to go home to Mommy and Daddy, bringing her painting with her. The painting is a collaborative work, of course, as Cara likes to share, and to direct others - "Papa, you paint!"

Cara's painting is very beautiful. She told us, first thing, that she had put stars on it.

Years ago, when Steve's mom was decluttering her house, I acquired something which is very large and useless and which I have kept all this time, against all logic, through moves and redecorating, just because I think it's cool. It's a game: Fireball Island. There is a molded plastic game board, shaped and painted to look like a volcanic island covered by jungle. A branching trail runs through it. There are five red marbles to be placed at strategic points. If a certain card is drawn, a marble or "fireball" must be rolled. Any piece hit by it misses a turn and suffers other penalties. The marbles roll along the paths and through the water. They can knock over bridges. There is a fierce idol at the crown of the volcano; he has a marble in his mouth, and it can be rolled down any of five paths. Some marbles knock other marbles into action. I couldn't let it go!

It's for ages seven and up, but I thought Cara might like to roll the marbles around in their paths. We went to the basement, and I got it down. I gave her the marbles. I got out the bridges. I got out the idol. She saw the little guys, so she got them, too. The result was remarkable and unexpected: Cara did not want to go outside and play sand. We spent all day, basically, playing with Fireball Island!

I thought the idol might be scary, but it was okay; Cara thinks he's yawning. He's tired. We call him yawning man, and sometimes the little guys even go talk to him. The four little men themselves have walked all over the island, up and down stairs. They love to slide down the paths. All of the marbles have been rolled in every way possible. It's even fun to turn the island upside-down and have everyone run around on it like that. Cara clutches the little men. She can hold all four in one hand, so it's hard to tell when she has them. At first she was willing to give one of us one of them, but in a couple of minutes she had him back. Now she's more relaxed and will let us play with them.

The word of the day is "us." Cara has been using the phrase "with me" for a while, but I had not noticed her saying "with us" until today. When she and I were downstairs playing with "my guys," she repeatedly called Daddy to "come play with us!" We went upstairs, and she asked him to "come with us."

We had to go out in the car, and Cara was heartbroken. She was allowed to take her guys with her. While I was driving, I heard her talking. The guys are little explorers; they are actually quite detailed. She was able to examine them more closely in the car and noticed that "he has backpack!" Later I asked her what was in the backpack, but this proved to be too abstract a concept.

After her nap and some more time in the basement, we were able to eventually convince Cara to come outside. It was a gorgeous day, so we put water in the water side of her sand table! She put her boats in, pushed them firmly to the bottom, and sailed them around. Some water got into the sand, which was messy and fun. The cars got sandy. Cara got sandy.

We had company: Wayne came over. Cara was shy and hid her face on Daddy. After a while, she loosened up. Her main interaction with him was giving him things. She gave him some chalk. She gave him her water. Inside (the addiction having proven itself too strong), she gave him a guy. He got the red guy. Several times. He also got some marbles.

In the bath, Steve thought he heard Cara say something about her thumb. He asked her to show him her thumb, because we hadn't heard her use that word before. She showed him her hands, saying "My piggies!" He explained that her toes were her piggies. "My hand piggies," she explained!

Cara was a lucky little girl. She got to stay up late and she got two brownies. Still, she is very, very unhappy because she is separated from her guys for the night.

4/22/07 (Sunday)

This morning Cara got up with us, still clutching all or most of her guys. She requested and received pancakes, and because of her continued desire to play with her guys we made it well into the morning before turning Disney on. Cara and I had the joy of watching an excellent episode of Mickey Mouse Club House in which Mickey and his friends must find all of the animals that escaped from the local petting zoo. The climax occurred when Mickey, Goofy and Donald used peanuts to coax a baby elephant out of a tree, singing the memorable song "Shake, shake, shake your peanut! Baby elephant come out of your tree!" Occasionally throughout the day Cara would sing about a "baby elephant," and I knew exactly to what she was referring.

We had an interesting morning which required several car rides to various locations--Cara was very patient about being taken in and out of the car so much. Finally we settled in for a good long ride to the grandparents' house, with Cara clutching her four little guys. I read aloud to Evie during these journies and I thought we were going to hear the whole thing twice. I began by reading the chapter title of our Dickens book, which happened to be "Dora's Aunts." From behind us we heard the Cara echo: "Dora's aunts! Dora's aunts! Dora's aunts!"

Cara did not nap during the journey there, and I was distracted from my reading a few times by her dropping one or more of her guys, which I (rather absurdly) attempted to find while remaining seatbelted into the front passenger seat. I had to give up the search until we arrived. Cara happily met her grandparents and went straight out back to watch Rusty and Floyd, the dogs, run around. Meanwhile, I had to attempt to extricate a little backpacked man from the innards of the car seat, first with a pair of tweezers, then by removing the entire seat from the car and violently shaking it in the driveway until the little man finally popped out. I was reminded of a time much earlier in Cara's life where I made a desperate trip to our gym's childcare room to get a little jingly lamb toy which she loved. Immediately afterwards of course she lost all interest in the toy--so there's hope that the guys are nearing the end of their run!

Anyway, we all went out and had a nice lunch at a restaurant, where Cara had some soup and managed not to spill much of anything on herself. Back at the house Cara exhibited her talent for dunking cookies into milk. We returned out back and everyone had a nice time sitting or wandering about the yard. Cara got some balls to carry around and may have slightly helped her Mommy to move some stones from one location to another. The highlight for Cara was when Mommy found some bubble-blowing equipment and brought it out. Cara has played with this on earlier visits but for some reason this time it was very exciting. She is not particularly good at blowing bubbles, but she very much liked carrying around two handfuls of bubble wands and distributing them to people, then taking them back. She was very upset when we decided it was time to put the things away and go back inside, and cried piteously (perhaps this was somewhat due to her lack of nap, as well); it took some good books and toys inside to get her back into a good mood.

All too soon it was time to depart, and we packed the little girl into the car (she very fortuitously had a bowl movement right before we left). Within minutes of our getting on the road she was snoring in the back seat, and remained that way for the whole ride.

When we got home, it was getting late! But Cara was in no mood to be thrown right into her tub, and I was feeling lazy, so we turned on some Blue's Clues and gave her some dinner, and then put her into her pajamas. Unfortunately she sounds very unhappy in her crib and will probably need an additional snuggle from her Mommy before throwing in the towel--naps late in the day can cause that.

Tomorrow Cara starts daycare at Susan's full time during the week! It is a new adventure for us all. We will certainly miss George's help around the house and his invaluable journal entries--hopefully he will still put in a few words on the weekends, when he's sure to see his little girl often.

4/23/07 (Monday)

Yesterday, Cara was hysterical when we made her put down her collection of bubble wands and go inside. Last night she slept with some spoons and a couple of bubble wands. When I got to Susan's this afternoon, Cara came walking over, happy to see me, carrying two shovels, a little rake, and a paintbrush. "She picks up so many things, she can't really play with them," Susan commented. I was not surprised. This evening, after her bath, Cara managed to amass four spoons, two bubble wands, and three of her guys. It was difficult for her to brush her teeth; she had to let me do it. I am certain that she intended to take all of it to bed with her. Her daddy made her put everything down but her guys, who all fit neatly into one hand. I generously brought up the fourth man, my orange guy, who had originally stayed downstairs.

I picked Cara up early today, a little after four, because I knew that Susan had a crowd and I thought it would be nice to play outside together. Of course, we also had to play guys for a while. I have officially been assigned the orange man. I have to be him. Cara can be anyone else. Outside, we played with water and sand. We went downstairs and ran around and went down the slide. "I'm too big," I told Cara. "Mommy, you too big," Cara told me. She took one of her vans down the slide. We had a pleasant interlude in which I sat in a comfy chair and Cara sat in her car. We sang songs and talked and just enjoyed the weather. It was about eighty today! In the back yard, it was very shady and comfortable.

I made pizza for dinner while Cara played with Play-doh. It was a good thing Steve got home to play with her, because the wait for food almost made her crazy! Somehow, we survived. After dinner, we played outside again. She still loves her sand table, but her obsession with Fireball Island makes it a lot easier to get her inside. It's getting dark later and later, so I'm surprised to report that Cara got to bed on time for the first time in quite a while!

I like singing to Cara when I get her out of the bath. It amuses her in her transition from towel to diaper, which she does not enjoy. Yesterday, she was babbling away, saying something about "my son." After a moment, I realized it was a request. She wanted to hear, "You Are My Sunshine"!

4/24/07 (Tuesday)

I got home today without Cara and listened to the messages on the machine. One was from Steve. He had made a mistake. He wanted me to know that Cara's guys were in his pocket. She had taken them with her to Susan's, but it wasn't a good idea for her to bring them in. Now, she would come home and they would not be here!

I went around five to get Cara. She and PJ were playing in the sand together. Susan related that earlier she had looked up to see them perfectly happy together, Cara crouching down and playing obliviously while PJ carefully poured sand into her hair! They got most of it out. Her scalp was only a little bit coated. When Cara came to greet me, she gave me a shovel and started talking about her guys. I explained that Daddy had her guys. Over the next hour, I had to reiterate this several times.

In the interest of distraction, we went to the supermarket to buy ice meme. First, Cara got to sit in the helicopter for a long time. She pushed buttons, she spun the wheel. I was invited to take turns. I asked her where she was going. "I go up in sky," she explained, pointing. Eventually she was done. She walked on squares in the supermarket, and we found some rainbow sherbet. "Colors!" We carried it. It was cold.

At home, we hurried in and discussed once more the location of her guys. "Oh no, I lost them!" Reassured, Cara managed to get me to give her some sherbet. Given a choice, she elected to try green. She enjoyed it and asked me to feed her when she was down to the dregs and couldn't get any more out of the bowl herself. She had only had a couple of tablespoons. When I did spoon up the remaining green liquid, she gleefully slurped it out of the spoon. Upstairs, we enjoyed a late-arriving birthday present (from Steve) which I received today: Ride a Purple Pelican, the poetry book we loved when we had it out of the library a few months ago. Cara and I got through the whole thing. After that, we played with Cara's parachuting bunnies until Daddy got home. In fact, Cara was so distracted by her the lines of her two bunnies having become tangled together that she did not immediately ask for her guys!

Cara got to go outside with Daddy to help grill dinner. Buster also went out. She headed down by the shed, and Cara spent a lot of time calling her. She stood on the lower rail of the fence to watch her slink around. Soon everyone was retrieved and had a good dinner. Cara and I were downstairs playing guys when there was a knock at the door. It was PJ! And Ron. They were soon followed by Em and Casey. They had come over to see Dara, because PJ missed her after not having seen her for a little over two hours. They had never seen Fireball Island. PJ really liked rolling the marbles. We didn't have much time to show him the finer points of the game, because it really was bath time for everyone. He did get to hold one of the guys for a few minutes. Cara didn't throw a tantrum, though she did voice some very civilized concern to me. I insisted that it was okay for PJ to have a guy. It was my guy, anyway!

For some reason, Steve was able to wash and rinse Cara's hair very thoroughly tonight. She didn't utter a protest. Usually she's pretty unhappy about having water poured on her head! I brushed her hair carefully afterwards, and the sand was out. During her bath, Cara dropped her squeegee out of the tub. Steve said it was his now, but that he didn't really want it. He tossed it to the other side of the tub. Cara said, "I take it!" She grabbed it and hugged it. "I love it," she said. Go figure. She is still playing with her boat, fisherman, and whale. The fisherman spends a lot of time calling for Mommy. His mommy? Cara's mommy? We're just not sure.

4/25/07 (Wednesday)

Cara asked about her guys almost first thing when she woke up this morning. She didn't get to them until almost right before we were going to get in the car, after she'd eaten her breakfast and I'd let her out of her booster seat. I told her she had to put them down; she did, very obediently, and then walked over to me crying her eyes out. She was very tragic the whole way into the car but was very quiet during our ride. I told her that Mommy would pick her up in the afternoon and take her to her guys, but then corrected myself and mentioned Lina and Sarah.

Today was Cara's biggest playdate marathon ever! First she was at Susan's all day. I picked her up and we went to play with the twins. We were home for twenty minutes and then went over to PJ's house for the evening! It was a very long day.

Susan said that while she was setting up in the other room she heard Cara being upset. She came to check on her, and found that Cara was terrified. She was shaking, she was so scared! What was the matter? Dora was on, and it was the episode about clams! Weeks ago, the same thing happened when this episode was on. She seems frightened because the clams are large and grab at least the tail of the little monkey. Cara was inconsolable and had to go with Susan away from the TV. (I did a lot of research and found the previous clam scare. It was January 16.)

Cara was happy to go play with the twins, but she agreed with me that her guys should not accompany her. I had made a special stop at home to pick them up before I got Cara at Susan's, and she had been happy to see them. PJ wanted to see them, too, but he was not encouraged. Cara held them in the car all the way back to North Brunswick. Lina helped Cara take off her shoes, and the girls all played for over an hour. There were few fights. There was a big mess. It was fun.

I am having philosophical problems with the idea of sharing. If Child A had a toy and Child B tries to take it, who is not sharing? Who is right? Both parents will tell their children to share. What does it mean? What do we do? Right now, I'm against sharing. I will consider further.

Unfortunately, when we should have been leaving the twins', Cara found an assortment of tiny bears, meant for counting. They were perfect for her; she could hold lots and lots of them. To get her to put them away, I got out the guys. It turns out that they are irresistible to preschoolers. Lina was devastated at not being able to play with them. Earlier, I had been able to get away from PJ by promising him he could play with them this evening. (Fortunately, he didn't remember.) We made a loud departure.

We played guys when we got home, of course. Then we played Play-doh. On Shannon's suggestion, I got out a heart-shaped cookie cutter and we made hearts. I had to do most of it, but Cara could sort of participate. I am ready to invest in more Play-doh related equipment, because making balls is fun, but it gets old quickly.

It was time to go to PJ's. Cara had been talking about PJ in the car, but now she was not interested in seeing him. Did she want to see Em? Yes! Off we ran.

Ron and I let the kids onto the pool table. Eventually he went off to the kitchen and I was in charge. Both of them had to stay seated, and I had to keep the balls coming. The cacophony was astonishing; at all times there were several balls rolling down the ramps at once. The kids banged them together, rolled them around, and pushed them down the holes. They were ecstatic. After a while, when Steve had arrived, PJ got bored and went to play in his tent. Cara kept going. Only the promise of dinner got her down.

While we finished eating, the kids went upstairs to jump on PJ's bed. This is their favorite activity to do together, I think. Back downstairs again, they quarreled. Cara wanted to ride PJ's sit-n-spin, and he did not want to share. When we supervised, she was able to get a turn. (Okay, I'm against sharing and in favor of turn-taking.) She was spinning in moments. Either they learned how at Susan's, or both children are geniuses.

Once again, I used the guys to get Cara to leave quietly. At home, we put them on their island. My guy took a bath in the water, dried himself vigorously between my hands, put on his warm pajamas, and went to sleep. I repeated the process with two other guys. Finally, Cara's guy did the same thing, down to putting on his namas. They are all still sleeping down there now.

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