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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

3/1/07 (Thursday)

We both woke up at four to hear Cara calling for water. We gave her water and some Tylenol. "Nounstairs," she said halfheartedly, clearly already half asleep in Daddy's arms. We put her back to bed and she slept until after six.

A call to the pediatrician confirms that Cara has a stomach virus. "We're seeing a lot of stomach viruses," says Doctor Weiner. It must run its painful (for Cara) and uncomfortable (for us) course. She's achy, feverish but the worst part is behind her; a couple more days and she will be good as new!

In the meantime we must give her liquids, Tylenol for the fever, and just wait it out.

Today we watched less TV in the AM than yesterday, Cara drawing the line after Handy Manny. We spent every other waking minute reading, which is interesting since I forgot my reading glasses and sometimes feel as if I'm reading from memory. One Fish Two Fish...

She's groggy most of the morning, very warm too so I try to keep her bundled up and close to me--she seems to want only to be held. At 11:30 I put her in for her nap which she goes to willingly.

Cara and I fell right back into our sick-Cara routine, but this time I left her with Grandpapa while I changed out of my work clothes before we fell onto the couch. We lay there with Curious George for hours; Cara lay on me limp but content to be held. She isn't talking much, but she has been saying, "Mommy," frequently, which I take as a verbal cuddle and an expression of appreciation.

She had her sippy cup and took some water, but she started saying "hot dog." I took her into the kitchen and gave her some goldfish crackers. Yesterday she had two, but today she ate a lot. Then I heated up some leftover spaghetti and one piece of hot dog. To my surprise, she actually ate the hot dog. Then, bowing to my judgment, she found that she enjoyed the pasta. She had two saucers full. Then we had to go back to the couch.

The evening has really been spent on the couch. She has had more water, though she hasn't eaten much else. She got quite hot, so I took off her sweater and sponged her down a little. She really just wants to be held. She did fall asleep on top of me for almost an hour, just like when she was an infant, and we wrestled her into her pajamas. Finally, around nine thirty, Steve took her upstairs. She was not happy. She was not up for reading books. He put her down, and it's pretty quiet up there.

This is really the first time Cara's been sick-sick. I mean, she's been sick before, but never like this. I was sure she'd be up and playing when I got home today, so I'm surprised to find myself thinking of taking a day off tomorrow. It's scary; it's hard to put someone in a crib when she wants to lie on you and say "Mommy"!

3/2/07 (Friday)

Cara was crying again before eleven. I'm not sure whether she was really awake or not. I took her out and she slept peacefully in my arms in the glider, but when I put her back down she was not happy. I went back to bed, but within minutes I was back, this time with socks and my robe, too, so Cara wouldn't be the only comfortable one. I held her in my lap and she slept, her head against my shoulder. We stayed that way for a long time, and I was getting ready to put her back down. Suddenly, "Mommy," she murmured, and turned over onto her tummy in my lap. Her head was sticking off the arm of the chair, and her legs were just out in the air. She stirred when I picked her up, but finally I just did it: I put her in her crib on top of her crumpled blanket. She curled around the blanket. She took her puma gladly. She cried for the few seconds it took me to get back to bed, and now, after six in the morning, she is still quiet. I broke one of my own rules and went in to look at her, and she is still curled around her blanket, peacefully sleeping.

I arrived (late because of the rain and traffic) at about eight. Cara was still asleep but as Steve was going down the stairs, we heard her stirring. A few minutes later I went up to get and found that instead of being hot and feverish as she's been, her forehead was cool, her skin clear and she greeted me pleasantly.

After changing her wet diaper we came downstairs and Cara had a few nibbles of my bagel and a sip of mandarin orange juice, more than I've seen her eat in days. Of course, she called for water more than once. The decisive difference is that Cara is willing to move around.

In her misery, for the past few days Cara has not moved. She wanted only to curl up on top of whoever was nearest and simply lie there. This morning, after her nibble of bagel, Cara is willing to walk around. She walked up to the TV and tried to touch the characters. She made an attempt to dance during the Mickey Mouse Club hot dog song. She does recall the warm comforting feeling of the past few days, and calls to me "sit down, papa."

It was great to get home and hear those little footsteps again. Cara appeared at the top of the stairs: "Hi, Mommy!" I got a big hug, and she wanted to go nounstairs and play. Cara was carrying her tiny Playmobil baby; she went to her stroller, which was occupied by the baby's similarly tiny daddy. Cara dumped him out and put the baby in. She did a little bit of running around. I got to see the coloring she did today, and I was ordered to do some coloring myself. She's bossy again.

We spent a long time reading in the game room. There were lots of books on the couch, but we had to get new books from the book shelf. I got a few at a time, but that was no good. The first was acceptable, but the others were universally rejected. I had to go get another. We read some really bad books, too, because Cara sometimes selected her own. However, I got to read a couple of my favorites, like Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb. Later, while we were watching some Curious George, Miss Laurie, the between-the-shows host, was doing a segment on drumming. Cara started to say what I thought at first was "bong, bong," like a bell, but then I figured out that she was drumming like those monkeys. Dum, ditty, dum, ditty, dum, dum dum!

A couple of moments from the afternoon: Cara finds her little purse and starts pulling things out of it. I don't think she's had it out in weeks. Among other, more boring things, she finds the Playmobil mommy. See how much I've relaxed: just a few months ago, I used to count the pieces every night to make sure I knew where they all were. I had no idea the mommy was missing! Later, we are reading Clumsy Crab, which Cara has identified by name. We get to the climax, in which Octopus is trapped in the seaweed and Nipper has to use his clumsy claws to cut him out. First, Turtle and Jellyfish try to pull Octopus to freedom. Cara reaches out and grabs the book: "Pul-l-l-ll!" I ask her whether Octopus can be pulled out. She nods with confidence.

We were upstairs when Steve got home, and he got the same enthusiastic greeting I did. It was probably more exciting for us than for her. We've missed our girl! The three of us ate at different times tonight, and we all had different things. Cara had some lo mein, which she ate quite a bit of. She ignored the nice Jell-O, and she pretty much kept her water by her side. She's definitely better; she'll lie on me to watch TV (I'm beat!), but she's always shifting around, saying "Mommy," as she jams her elbow into my stomach. She's up again in a few minutes, moving around. She's not at 100%, but she's herself again!

3/3/07 (Saturday)

Last night Cara had a lot of trouble going to sleep and tonight she again really did not want to. She had a nice morning however and even did a little bit of playing outside in our yard with PJ. The kids found Cara's little red car, which was dirty, but her little tricycle was okay and she actually rode it a little bit, which was pretty great! She put her feet on the pedals and rolled around a little. Then we packed into the car and were off to South Jersey, where Cara awoke to find her Grandma and Grandpa in the car and all of us on the way to a local diner. Cara had a bit of soup and some pancakes and ran around in the lobby a bit. Then we finally got to go and see Rusty, so Cara could say "No, no!" to him. We had a little bit of playtime out back and Cara got to see the dog run around a bit, which was very enjoyable.

Cara kept wanting to go noun steps, even though she had concrete evidence that none of her toys were down there. Maybe she liked her trip outside and wanted to repeat it. While upstairs, she got to see some new episodes of Curious George, which were very nice. Eventually it was getting late and Cara was getting fussy so we drove home.

In the evening Cara was unhappy. She seemed to be in pain, though from time to time she would be almost back to normal, and managed to eat some goldfish and some Jell-O and toast. We let her stay up well past her bed time watching movies but then took her upstairs, very much against her will, and put her in her crib, where she will cry until tiredness overcomes her. Our little girl is on her way to recovery but clearly is not there yet. She did not throw up today but her diapers are not back to normal. It's possible the loads of television we've been letting her watch because she's been sick have gotten her a bit spoiled. Hopefully bedtime will get better very soon. Fortunately once she got to sleep last night she did sleep pretty well.

3/4/07 (Sunday)

I was at the gym when Cara woke up this morning; when I got home she was unhappy and clingy once more. She lay on me and watched TV for a while; when we took her upstairs to take her temperature, it was 103.5! (This was rectal, though, so I think you subtract a degree.) Despite our virtuous parenting intentions, more TV and cuddling were clearly called for. However, they were not good enough. Cara was not content to lie around and watch Curious George; she cried anyway!

We got her to eat a little bit, some of which was good and some of which was bad. Toast was good. In the fridge, where Cara led me, she spotted banana yogurt. We let her have some, since this is day five of the disease and she should be doing better, digestively. This was bad. She threw up on me. We were never confident about that yogurt.

It seems like Cara cried for hours. We couldn't do anything for her. I took her temperature again in a few hours and it was down to 101.5, but she was still wailing. I talked to the pediatrician, who said we should bring her in tomorrow if she's still feverish. The doctor says some of the same things my folks, who have just had this bug, say. The fever makes her achy and miserable. For days, her stomach will be sensitive. A few things the doctor says that my folks do not: she may be having gas pains, and her diarrhea may last for a couple of weeks! Fortunately, it seems to be slowing down.

Cara does seem to feel better right after she eats a little. She had some bread for lunch, and then she went downstairs and played like a normal child. Then, naturally, we put her in for her nap. The nap lasted three hours! She woke up clingy and needy again. More Curious George. Actually, Steve went out and got us a new movie. We now have some actual episodes of Blue's Clues. Steve and I enjoyed it, but Cara was not enthusiastic. Instead of watching the second episode, we put in Winnie the Pooh again.

I feel like I spent all day on the couch! Cara seems to be getting stir-crazy, too. She kept making us walk her around the house; she never quite got happy anywhere.

For dinner, we made Cara some pasta. She ate it plain, with her hands. She asked for and ate more. Then she felt better. We felt that we had earned a treat, so we got takeout. Cara sat in the living room on her own for a few minutes, and then she joined us and mooched some refried beans. We think that that's the perfect thing for someone with digestive woes to eat. We tried to get her to just eat some rice, but she insisted.

After last night's horrible battles, I was firm tonight. At bath time, I took Cara upstairs. She wailed. I got her to play with a couple of toys while the bath ran, and then she wailed while Steve bathed her. I got her out and held her in her towel and read her Sammy the Seal while she wailed. She sucked some toothpaste off her toothbrush and then stopped wailing briefly while she picked out two stickers. (Her tooth brushing chart fell down beside the vanity. We had to use another paper!) I got her diapered and pajamaed while she wailed. She wailed while Steve picked her up and I left. Steve persevered, and they've been up there for about 45 minutes. It gradually got quiet, but occasionally I hear happy, normal noises as they read books together.

3/5/07 (Monday)

Cara felt much better today, but a central problem remained: boredom. I am not oblivious to the fact that this is a prime opportunity for her to learn another abstract concept, though my optimism may be unfounded. Grandpapa reported Cara's desire to watch television and snuggle combined with an impatience with the television. He brought some episodes of Blue's Clues from the library, and Cara enjoyed interacting with them. Playing downstairs was not fun. Reading books was not fun. They went to Johnson Park for a few minutes, but it was too cold. It was a tough day. My only helpful idea, when I called home around noon, was to get out the Noah's Ark that had been put away in the basement since before Christmas. It might now qualify as a new toy.

When I got home, they were reading after all. It was a very windy day, so the strange noises outside had had Cara convinced that I was home for the past two hours; she was happy to finally see me. Before I could have a nice hug, though, I had to help her get me out of my gloves, coat, and scarf. We also took off my ID. I gave Cara a snack, and then I got her to come out to the store with me. My boredom-avoidance plan involved gathering no moss. Cara was good at Wegman's, where she got to see the train and play with several of the toys we had brought. She got to try a free sample of some veggie chips.

Cara has been very funny today. She had some pasta in a small glass bowl. When it was empty, she picked it up and looked at me through it, creating a very funny effect. I borrowed it and looked at her, so that she could see how funny it was. Back and forth we went. After we had our coats on to go out, I asked her to find a friend to go along with her. She picked her Halloween light-up wand, which she loves looking through. Actually, she thinks it's very funny to hold it up in front of her eyes, which puts it over the bridge of her nose. This is one of my favorite ways to play peek-a-boo, because she can plainly be seen behind it, smiling devilishly. When we got home and I was putting the groceries away, Cara called for my attention. She was sitting on a kitchen chair, holding a large strainer over her head and peering at me through it, clearly very pleased with herself. We repeated this several times. While I was cooking, Cara was not particularly pleased. However, she got distracted. Instead of pulling on me, she was smiling and almost dancing around. She had discovered the little tiny Cara reflected in the silver knobs on the cabinet doors!

We played downstairs after dinner. I wanted to play with the Ark. Cara dumped everyone out, and I took up Noah. Now, Noah is really the patriarch of the human race, and he deserves an accordingly dignified, deep voice. I gave him one. With my best Noah voice, I stood him up in the Ark and he asked Cara where each animal was. When she supplied the animal, Noah said, "Hello, zebra [or whatever animal you are], come onto my boat. Give me a kiss." Then the animal gave Noah a kiss. Then he asked for more animals. There was a lot of love in that boat.

I decided to get Cara to help me clean up. Would she willingly? No. Everything lay on the ground and she gave a giraffe a ride in her stroller. Then I took the stroller. The crying started. I told her that if she wanted to run and play, she had to put the daddy away first. She got him and put him away. I gave back the stroller. The crying stopped. The same technique, except with a whistle this time, got her to help me collect two books from among the fifteen on the floor in the game room. That time she ran all the way to the other end of the house crying before running back to win the freedom of her whistle. I hope that we can get her into the habit of cleaning up at least when asked without feeling tortured!

For the first time since last Tuesday, we ran our normal bedtime routine! She still wanted vocally and emphatically to go downstairs and watch Curious George, but we heart-hearted parents are not giving in. Toothbrushing is popular, as are stickers. She's not running around as much as usual, but things are getting back to normal.

3/6/07 (Tuesday)

When I picked Cara up today, Susan reported that she had been cranky and less verbal than usual. That's what we'd all been observing, but I had hoped that being at Susan's would jump-start Cara, get her back into being her old self. She did eat well, and she matched pictures well in arts-and-crafts. I heard this evening that Susan reported that PJ had been cranky all day, too, so at least they were even.

At home, Cara wanted very much to be with Mommy. When it was time to make dinner, I put on Curious George. With some bread and water, Cara should have been perfectly content. I got out my pots and pans, started water heating, and got out my bread crumbs. There was Cara, arms up, wailing. Usually she'll check on me and then go back to the TV, but not this time. She was there to stay, and she was loud. I gave up. I went out to the living room and lay down on the couch with Cara on top of me. She worked her knees up until they were almost on my ribs, her little tush sticking into the air. She seemed to enjoy kneeing me in the gut, and periodically she would straighten her legs and then collapse suddenly back down onto me. Periodically, she would say, "Mommy!"

Fortunately, the phone rang. It was Em. Had I started making dinner? I had tried! Did I want to come over for dinner and playtime? Yess!!! Did Cara, who was now contentedly sitting on the couch, watching George? No. Too bad.

PJ got a train table! It's just like at Barnes and Noble, but the track isn't glued down. I was anticipating major arguments, but there was just so much stuff that the kids played together peacefully! PJ got a lot of other new stuff for his birthday, too, so there was plenty for everyone to play with. PJ shared wonderfully, so there wasn't a fight all night. They do approach the toys differently. Cara felt that the small wooden trees with the train set were to eat (she offered me one, but I wasn't hungry), so when I got out a dinosaur figure, she said hello to it and offered it some tree.

We had a long and complicated argument about Daylight Savings Time and how to adjust the kids to their new bedtimes, but really I doubt that we'll do much about it. I guess we can try to get Cara down slightly earlier, but I'm not betting that we'll be effective. Maybe.

I told Em about how cruel I was to Cara last night, making her clean up, and she pointed out something I hadn't realized. I told Cara, "If you give me a book, you can have your whistle back," and she was able to understand an if-then statement! That's pretty cool. This evening Cara and I tricked each other. I had brought her upstairs to get ready for her bath, and we were running late. Cara started to head downstairs, and I went with her. She got me to take her all the way to her playroom! We found Noah's Ark, and I told her we would put all the animals in through the windows. We did, counting them as we played. It was like a strange shape sorter. I tricked her into cleaning up.

3/7/06 (Wednesday)

Cara and I had a fairly good afternoon at home together. It's lightly snowing out, so I wanted hot chocolate. Cara sat in her booster to watch me make it, but she said, "chocolate milk." I hadn't made her chocolate milk for a while, partly because she was so sick, but I decided to make some right then. That was fun to watch, too. I thought we could use a snack, so I made some microwave popcorn, letting Cara watch the bag inflate: "uh-oh!" Cara loved her milk, but she mainly ignored the popcorn. She was curious about my hot chocolate, but she wouldn't try it. She was a little bit kvetchy.

Later, I was on the phone responding to a survey (fun!). I had been told that it would take ten minutes, to which I responded that we'd have to see how it went, because I had a toddler. Cara climbed into her high chair and requested and got a snack of crackers. I was asked what I thought were three major problems New Jersey was facing, and I came up with three and then added a fourth as it became relevant: we sometimes run out of goldfish crackers! The woman asking me questions thought that this was very funny, more funny than it really was. Cara ate a few handfuls of crackers, and then I had to cut off her supply. Now off the phone, I explained that we would have pizza later. I let Cara "help" me by putting stickers on the invitations to her birthday party.

Daddy got home! Cara desperately wanted something from him, but she was unable to communicate its nature for a while. It turned out to be the little plastic parachute man from the fridge. We flew him a few times, to the delight of the adults and amazement of the child. Soon, though, our interest waned.

Em, PJ, and Casey came over to play and Daddy went out to pick up pizza. Cara wailed and cried and clung to me. Soon, we had put on Curious George. Things weren't great, but he helped. As soon as the door opened, Cara said, "pizza!" Down she jumped. "Pizza, yay!" She was in the kitchen trying to climb into her booster seat, which she cannot actually accomplish. Cara wailed until she had pizza in front of her, and then she ate and ate and ate.

After dinner she was crabby. She sat with Daddy while Em and I helpfully sorted out my sticker collection as Steve juggled Casey and Cara; PJ was running around, doing his own thing. When it was time, I walked the Loefflers home to help carry things and guide PJ in the right direction. When I got back, Cara was wailing even more than before. She kept this up while I held her, while I snuggled her, while we gave her Tylenol just in case, while we checked her temperature just in case (99 rectally, which is normal), and while we gave her a bath. Things may even have escalated in the tub. Holding her in her towel afterwards I could get her down to a gentle hiccup, but she started right up again while I got her into her pajamas. She stuck her toothbrush into her mouth enough so that she could get a sticker, but unfortunately she saw the whole envelope and wanted to take them all out and play. More wailing. Hysterical.

Fortunately, cooler heads than mine prevailed. I handed her to Steve to be read to bed, and within five minutes they were reading happily. He hasn't put her down yet, but it may not be a complete disaster.

We read some nice new books that Grandpapa George brought for her, then went back to an oldie (Richard Scarry). By the time the first book was done she was normal, even though when we started the first book she was hysterical. When I finally put her in her crib at around 9 she laid down without a peep of protest, with her stuffed Piglet.

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