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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

12/01/05 (Thursday)

A rough morning! Perhaps as a reaction to yesterday's change in routine, Cara would not do anything alone. Cara was fine when carried but she wanted no part of the exersaucer. Playing on the floor in her room with her blocks and toys really got her mad. And the worst part was that she didn't and couldn't sleep for her 10 A.M. nap, which she has done every day as long as I can remember. (And even worse, every time she'd get quiet, little Shelby would meeoowww and she'd start up again.)

But the early afternoon was good. Cara had a large portion of peas and enjoyed her trip to see the goats, the roosters, the chickens, the coyote and the half-llama, half-donkey in Johnson Park.

For the record, I do not believe that there is a half-llama, half-donkey in Johnson Park. Today Cara and I went shopping again, but she didn't get to ride in a cart. She had to suffer along in her stroller, which is not nearly as much fun. Also, I think she was just kind of crabby today. She did okay through our three errands, though, and we got home a little after five to have a nice bottle.

I don't think I've mentioned Cara's jungle friends lately. As I've said before, it's hard to be Cara's friend. The monkey and the zebra thing are fine, but the bird is hanging by a thread, almost literally, sort of like a loose tooth. It makes it much more convenient to get it into your mouth (that has no connection to my tooth analogy), but I'm just sure it'll fall off any day now. It still swings gamely.

Tomorrow is Date Night. Cara will be taken home by Grandpa George, and he and my mother will look after Cara overnight (!) and return her in the morning. Steve and I can go out to dinner and see a movie, as if we had no cares in the world! It's kind of scary. I went in and said goodnight to Cara, knowing that I will not see her for over 24 hours, unless of course she wakes in the night. Then I'll see plenty of her. It's going to feel really weird, not having her around. Like having a limb cut off or something. I'm simultaneously ecstatic and terrified.

12/02/05 (Friday)

This morning, I dedicated myself to keeping Cara busy so she couldn't cry all morning, as she did yesterday. Despite the cold (40 degrees) and wind, we went for our usual walk around Nancy Circle, Cara in her thick pink jumpsuit. Then I bundled her up in the stroller and we were off to the park and the swings. Cara did enjoy the swings and I lived the first half of my dream--this afternoon, she'll swing at Bodman Park, down behind her grandma's house in Middletown--the second half of my dream.

Tonight, Cara will sleep in her playpen (set up as a crib). She'll be in a room with two fish tanks and a cute kitty cat. It will be warm and comfortable for her. Janet and I are as well prepared as we can be, so let's start this adventure!

Well, the night out on the town that my wife and I had is not related to the subject of this journal. But we have some words from Janet about Cara's evening that will do fine:

As I write this Cara is sitting in her portacrib, watching the fishies in the tank right next to it and doing her happy, rapid breathing. She's even laughing a little and sometimes she sings them a little song. She has a couple of toys at hand, but the fishies are the main attraction, much more satisfying to her than the Baby Einstein DVD we watched earlier.

She has had no interest in solid food this evening, but has finished off two bottles with gusto, one at about 4:30 and another around 7:30. We tried a bath but the water wasn't warm enough, so it was over quickly and we didn't wash her lovely, fluffy hair; next week we'll do better.

The highlight of her visit has been those moments when the innocent cat has come close to her. At those times, as I hold her upright, she definitely moves her feet as if to walk. She got to touch him a couple of times, to her delight and his mild displeasure.

I think she's tired now, at about 8:30, but not ready to sleep. She napped in her swing this afternoon. We'll see what it takes to settle her down for the night in this unfamiliar place.

12/03/05 (Saturday)

We tried to get Cara ready for sleep by about 9 p.m., but she was wide-eyed and completely resistant to the idea, and objected vociferously when left alone in dim light in her crib. So we took turns holding her. George fixed another 4-oz. bottle, we put good ol' Burl Ives on the CD player, and by about 11 pm she finally relaxed into sleep.

After such a late night, I thought she might sleep late too, but she was awake by about 7 am. She's a nice morning baby. She came awake gradually and without crying or fussing, and was delighted to find her friends the cat and the fish were still there. After her bottle she was a little grumbly; she didn't want to play by herself at all, but was quite content to be held and played with. However there was very little time before she was wisked away to what I am sure will be a joyful reunion with her own mom and dad and her own home and toys.

Oh, her new favorite toy is my glasses, which she will pull right off my face at every opportunity. I think a clever person could make a lot of money by designing and marketing a baby toy that looks like a pair of eyeglasses!

I think Baby's first night away went as well as could be hoped. She really does like those fish--a great draw--and it sounds like the only thing that was really tough was bed time. I'm sure that Cara will get used to the idea of sleeping in her playyard pretty soon--she used to do it all the time! We have gotten out of the habit of putting her in it, though. Next time, we'll remember to loan Janet and George one from our collection of "sleepy" CDs.

It's been a while since I've had to really write anything here, so I'd better just mention that Thursday night (or rather, early Friday morning) baby woke up and had to be bottled back to sleep by her Mommy (so, true to her prediction of that night's journal entry, Ev did indeed get one more chance to see the baby). Today, Cara got back in the morning and Ev and I were both happy to see her again, and she us. My parents came up to see Cara and, rather than spend a lot of quality baby time with Cara after her big night away from home, we ended up getting lots of household chores done while Janet and Jim watched the baby. Of course, we didn't entirely ignore her, and my parents left in the afternoon and we were back alone with our daughter.

She really does like the eyeglasses, by the way--she was grabbing at my Dad's pair every time he picked her up. She also has developed a habit of grabbing at people's clothes that are near her: I like to interpret it as a touching need to be hugged when she reaches her hands towards me and leans forward, but evidence leads me to conclude that it's probably just that she wants to grab the design printed on my sweatshirt, or suck on my jeans.

Cara was fairly happy today, with some spells of grumbling. An interesting event occurred when my mother gave Cara a bottle. I walked away for about five minutes (literally) and found that the baby had already guzzled the entire eight ounces! I discovered later that the cause of this was not that Cara had grown incredibly hungry, but that there was a large split in the nipple of her bottle that caused the formula to gush out into her mouth! The consequence of this, however, is that we think we will go up to the larger sized nipple (#3), since we tried that one on her later in the day and the formula didn't dribble down the sides of her mouth like it used to--she's ready to drink more in a gulp.

Ev has decided that maybe Cara will crawl after all, instead of going straight to walking. She really turns and grabs and reaches and moves for things that she wants. She was making so many babbling, talky types of noises today, with syllables and everything. I still don't think she recognizes a single word we say to her, but she is ready to speak back to us regardless. She loves the cats and managed to grab a wad of fur out of poor Shelby's tail this morning. She was carefully swiping one of her rattle toys against the cushion of our loveseat in a rainbow arc for some reason this evening. She spent a lot of time in her various devices (saucer, high chair, and especially her jumper--she had several sessions in there and over a half-hour straight before she got ready for bed!). I tried some peas on her during the day, but she only took a few very ambivalent spoonfuls before starting to stick her tongue out in disgust. Currently, after a hard day at work for both, Evelyn and Carolyn are most likely both asleep up in the nursery. I wonder if I should wake up my wife so she can go to bed...

12/4/05 (Sunday)

I was quite asleep with Cara in the glider last night. It was nice. I eventually got up, though, and went to bed. Cara woke up at six thirty, though, and I made Steve take care of her. I've been having insomnia lately, and I decided that I really need to try to sleep more whenever I can. Steve gave Cara ten ounces of formula in two bottles to convince her to go back to sleep, and my day started at 8:30 when Steve and I sat down to breakfast. Cara, having been well fed, didn't wake up until about ten.

It snowed last night, so the first thing I did was put Cara up on her changing table to look out the window. She didn't exactly do a double-take or anything, but she was excited and curious. She spent quite a while watching a neighbor with his snow blower. Then she had a nice bottle and we hung out for a while. Cara had a great time in her jumper and then she got cranky in the living room so we went upstairs.

Steve gave Cara a bottle around one, and that put her to sleep until about four, which was a nice break. This evening we've waved a lot of things in the air, jumped a lot, and stuck things into our mouth. I do admit, I think she may crawl someday. She wants badly to move, I think. She gets herself onto her tummy and seems to try, but soon she just rolls over. We'll see how she progresses.

Now it's bath time and bed time.

Baby seems to be down now; I'd just like to add that this evening Cara evinced an emphatic dislike for peas, which may be a show of real discernment of taste. We switched to pears instead (as I've mentioned before, my personal favorite), and after a tentative beginning did much, much better. Evie has talked to me about the possibility of a cook book that talks about the wonderful grown-up meals that can be made using baby food.

12/5/05 (Monday)

Today, Monday, is almost the ideal day: Cara wakes up at exactly 8 A.M. She plays nicely when I hold her and a tiny bit when I put her down, though once she realizes I'm not holding her, she begins to pout. Cara now makes a definite motion when she wants to be picked up. She holds both her arms straight out to her sides and looks at you with a perfectly adorable pleading look.

She has a half a jar of her favorite food, pears. Then she naps from 10 A.M. to noon, waking up at five after. She has about six ounces of formula and then we're off to the Woodbridge Mall.

It's cold and icy out and even I think it's too cold to take the baby out in the stroller--though if the icy roads go away, I might go out for a short walk with the stroller.

Then we're back at around 2:30 (dental time -- tooth hurty -- get it?) and we play and goof around until Evie gets home.

I got home around 3:30, and Cara and I went out to Walmart, which is always fun. She just loves shopping carts! We picked up her Christmas pictures to put in our cards, along with some general household merchandise, and then we came home. Cara and the cats watched while I refilled the bird feeder, then Cara tried to eat some newspaper, and then I gave her a bottle. After that she sat nicely in her high chair while I made dinner.

I read somewhere that all babies are essentially scientists, and I think that that makes sense. Cara is currently experimenting with a few things, but mainly I think she's studying the effects of hitting things with other things. She seems quite serious about it.

I have decided that Cara will crawl, possibly soon. She sits very well, of course, but she keeps going over forwards and getting herself onto her tummy, and she really is trying to move. Steve and I are starting to realize the ramifications for us of all this change. For instance, she tried to eat a spider plant this evening. I think that this will not generally be a problem, as she will mainly be cut of from the part of the house that has plants in it, but it's just one example of things she will get into. I think we should just buy some baby gates and learn as we go.

The hard part, it seems to me, about her learning to crawl is just letting her do it. We have to leave her alone. I think she'll just kind of figure it out, but it's tough to watch her struggling.

It's snowing. We took Cara outside in the dark and the snow for a few minutes, and she was very excited about the flakes flying through the air. They got in her little baby hair! Tomorrow I want to put her in her snow suit and sit her in it, if we really get a few inches.

12/6/05 (Tuesday)

Cara is up at 4:30 A.M. and Evie gives her a bottle. It's snowing outside; when I arrive at 7:20, Cara is watching TV with her dad. Steve leaves at 7:30, as Cara is watching even more television! Some baby stuff. Once Steve goes she's more interested in her mirror toy and the other things in her immediate vicinity.

At 8 A.M. I give her a bottle and boom, she's out like a light. Maybe it's the Steely Dan. But she bounces up at 8:30 and we have a somewhat contentious morning before her nap at 10 A.M.

Yesterday, I noticed how hard Cara is trying to move without actually moving. When she's sitting, she tries to bounce or hop on her little bottom. She sometimes falls on her face, but it's a learning experience. Also, we're playing our knock over the blocks game. I built a small structure just out of her reach and somehow, she struggles to knock 'em over. Sometimes she struggles forward with so much effort that it seems like she's working--imagine, an almost-eight month old working!

Evelyn is concerned with leaving Cara alone to play. From Cara's point of view, this is difficult because we've always been picking her up, cooing over her, entertaining her, kissing her, smiling at her. Now, this stops! Why? It's hard to figure.

This afternoon, we had a walk through the neighborhood which is changed completely by the snow that fell last night. Cara was bundled up in her pink suit with both her hat and her hood. It is cold but Cara is warm.

Cara was up at 4:10. I admit that I had been up since three, so she really didn't wake me, but it IS possible that I WOULD have gotten back to sleep. However, she was in a wonderful mood. I gave her a big bottle and she got quite sleepy, but she woke up as soon as I put her down. I went and showered, hoping she would settle herself, but poor Steve had to get up and hang out with her. Actually, I had a really nice morning; I had breakfast with Cara and Burl Ives (try HIM out at 6 A.M.!) and got to work not too much later than usual.

At some point today I realized that I had been up since three in the morning, and it's kind of hit me right now, but really I was fine all day. I plan on going to bed around nine, but that's no big deal. Cara was good all afternoon and evening, too. She jumped in her jumper with great enthusiasm, even while left alone, for a total of about 90 minutes since Daddy left at four. She stayed nicely in her high chair while I made messes in the kitchen. She sat nicely on the floor and played.

She did seem to fall over more when she was sitting up, and I think she wanted more hugs today, but otherwise she has shown no real signs of fatigue, unlike the adults around her.

To respond to my father, I'm not really worried about leaving her alone to play, although I am quite in favor of it, I just feel like it's hard to watch her falling over on her face and smushing herself into weird positions in learning to crawl. I think she'll figure it out, but letting her learn by doing is tough. In a way, I think it's worse leaving her alone to play now than it was a few weeks ago, since she keeps knocking herself over and then getting upset.

I had noticed the results of Dad's knock over the blocks game. Often, when I come home, there is a fantastic structure built on the floor of Cara's room. I was amusing myself by seeing how long it took until Steve or I accidentally knocked it over!

Poor Cara's eyelid is all red and irritated! I called the doctor, who says that it is chapped and raw from tears spilling over. This makes sense. Cara has always had gunky eyes, and lately I have been a good mommy and done some tear duct massage to clear it up. I think it was working, so now she has at least one sort of runny eye, so the tears get on her eyelid and dry and she gets chapped. The doctor instructs me that we ought to rub cortisone cream into it well and then use a little Vaseline over that as a moisturizer. We should do this twice a day. I have applied this treatment once, and now I think I should write it out so that we can all follow the regimen. What I mean by that, of course, is that I have to make my poor father try this tomorrow morning!

Cara will be eight months old tomorrow.

12/7/05 (Wednesday)

Cara is eight months old today!

But we have a boring day. The temperature is in the twenties and for the first time, we don't go outside even for a minute. So we watch tv--the Baby Einstein.

I do however put on the ointments near her left eye and for most of the day it seems to be working well.

Baby had a somewhat crabby afternoon. Evie told me that earlier in the afternoon, baby was yowling as she was put into her car seat, and unhappy as Evie arrived at the supermarket, but as soon as she was plopped into the shopping cart, she was all smiles. Cara loves that shopping cart!

This evening I got home a little late and Cara was in her saucer, pretty much at the end of her saucer endurance. I took her out and carried her about until dinner was ready, then she watched her movie, and after dinner she consented to eat a little bit of sweet potatoes. Then she spent a long time in her jumper and laughed a lot as I sang whatever songs occurred to me (a strange mix tonight: whatever I could remember of Oklahoma! which, as it turns out, is not much; and snatches of songs from Led Zeppelin's fourth album, including my own "bah-bah" rendition of the guitar solo from "Stairway to Heaven"). After she came out of her jumper and Evie was nearby, Cara ended up somehow laying over my leg in a crawling position (my leg kept her midsection bolstered, preventing her from flopping onto her stomach like she usually does), and Evie tried to convince her to crawl by pushing her legs forward. It was an interesting experiment.

That was pretty much our evening, because after that it was just a little playtime in Cara's room before it was time for her sleepy bottle. Baby's eye seems to be responding well to treatment--I did not see her rubbing it at all tonight.

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