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Journal Key:

Green = Steve | George = navy | Janet = Purple | Evelyn = Black

11/24/05 (Thursday)

It's Thanksgiving, and I have to echo Steve and say that we are thankful for many many things but none so much as all of Cara's grandparents. We have realized over the past seven months how hard they worked to raise us, and they've also made our lives immeasurably better and happier. We love you and we thank you.

My Cara has undeniably become Daddy's little girl. She absolutely lights up when he walks into a room, smiling at him from ear to ear. It's because, for the past few weeks, he's done almost everything for her. It's wonderful to see how funny she thinks he is, how she trusts him and turns to him. Of course, this means that Mommy is not quite as interesting, funny, or reliable. I naturally intend to mount a campaign to regain my status as I get stronger, but it's not urgent. Something else I realized just this evening is that Steve used to ask my advice about Cara; he wasn't always sure what to do with her or just how to do what he wanted. That doesn't happen anymore. We're equals now in a way that I don't think we were. I admit that I am a little bit jealous, but it really shows that some good came out of my illness; every cloud DOES have a silver lining.

Today we went down and saw Grandma Janet and Grandpa Jim. They were great and played with baby the whole time we were there. She had a lot of fun looking at Rusty and watching him run around; I think she got to touch him a little bit, but he's harder to get a handful of fur from than poor Shelby. We played with lots of toys that Grandma had. We adults had fun building with legos, and Cara had fun waving them around. The biggest hit, of course, was the telephone pull toy. Cara loves to chew on the lanyard particularly, but she also has learned to move the dial to make a ringing noise. She really seems to have learned that she can make the noise that way! I think she's starting to learn cause and effect.

Steve has, of course, been putting Cara down every night with her late bottle. This evening, she stayed awake. Sometimes she's in a good mood and will drift off to sleep by herself, but tonight it was not to be. She yelled and yelled, and I went in and took her into the glider. She had her popper and I am wearing my favorite sweater, which is very snuggly. She wanted to go to sleep, but she had a tough time. Basically, I spent half an hour holding her, cuddling her, and bored her to sleep. It was nice to do that again. It makes me feel like I'm getting back into the game.

11/25/05 (Friday)

I forgot a couple of things from yesterday. Jim and Janet bought Cara a new Baby Einstein movie; it's a nice holiday one. We set her up to watch it while we ate dinner, and one result is that I, at least, had Christmas carols in my head for the rest of the day. It's nice, because now I'm really in the holiday mood. However, it's really Cara's experiences we're interested in. Every time Cara watches a movie at home, she sits in her bouncer. This puts her in a nice reclining position, sort of like a hammock at about 45 degrees. She can kick and bounce around and have a good time. For this movie, though, we had no baby seat. We sat Cara on the couch, with the ottoman in front of her and two pillows beside her to keep her from going over in either direction. When she movie came on, Cara was quite excited. She went right over forwards, not falling but apparently heading for the television in the most direct way she could find. Not being able to crawl she made very little progress, but her heart was certainly in the attempt. It was very funny, and we had to kind of slump her over backwards for the rest of the show in order to immobilize her. She watched most of it, but, as with most of the movies, the first viewing was not entirely successful. I'm sure she will grow to like it.

Cara does a lot of standing up these days, for someone with no idea of how to balance. Her grandma Janet took Cara one step further, doing something I'd been thinking of trying myself. Holding Cara's hands, she got her to kind of step forwards. I believe they chased the dog. Chasing animals, I believe, is one of Cara's favorite activities. Fortunately for the animals in question, she's not awfully good at it yet.

I also forgot to mention the really good time I had with Cara yesterday. We put her in her saucer in the living room, and we put on Burl Ives. Often we leave her alone then, but I stayed with her and I sang along, giving my most dramatic and heartfelt interpretations of the songs. Cara loved it. She smiled and laughed at me, and we were very very happy together.

Today, Cara was an all-around excellent baby. She played nicely on her own a lot of the time, letting us get quite a few things done around the house. The whole family, for instance, cleaned out the basement. Steve and I went through boxes, organized things, and threw things away; the cats investigated everything; and Cara sat on her little mat and stuck things in her mouth while watching everyone else. She hadn't ever spent any real time in the basement before, so I like to think that it had an element of novelty. It's chilly down there, so we put Cara's little blue sweater on her. It zips up the front, but we didn't zip it. After about half an hour I looked at her and she had gotten it off. That was okay, because she enjoyed picking it up and sucking on it. As a special treat, I let Cara watch the clothes swish around in the washer.

While I went through the Christmas decorations, Cara and her daddy had a great time at the piano. I've hung up a bird feeder outside that window, and it's been discovered by the wildlife, but we're not sure whether Cara has noticed the birds. Buster certainly has, so Cara can at least watch Buster. I took out and lit a string of lights and hung it in that same window (it's just a happening place), and Cara stared in awe. We're pretty sure she'd be happy to put them in her mouth.

Aunt Claire and I had a couple of cooking projects to do today, so after Cara's two-hour nap, the three of us girls went out to the grocery store. Cara had a great time chewing on Aunt Claire's purse as well as on the edge of a bag of cherries. We shopped for about an hour, and Cara was good the whole time.

At one point in the afternoon I put Cara down on her floor in her clean room and put her toy basket beside her. When I went back in about ten minutes later, half of the things in the basket, including all of the heavy books, were on the floor. I took a picture, which Steve has already posted. He's been great today, of course. He's completely reorganized the photos of Cara on the site--and I was worried he'd be bored in the free time he had when Claire and I took Cara out!

11/26/05 (Saturday)

I've been feeling a real need to prove to myself that I can still live my life and do what I want to do despite having a baby to take care of, so Steve and I have been doing all sorts of work this weekend. Today we finished putting up our Christmas decorations, including outside lights, and painted a piece of furniture in our living room. Really, we have accomplished more in this weekend than we usually might in a month. Cara has been a wonderful baby throughout.

She came outside with us to put up the lights at dusk, which is a very pretty time to do something like that. Steve and I had our jackets on, and we were quite chilly. Cara, however, had on her adorable pink fussy snowsuit, complete with hood, and she stayed nice and warm the whole time. She helped me cut the string to tie the lights up, and she watched nicely from her stroller while we toiled away.

The baby highlight of the day, for me, was the morning, when I was holding her up in the living room. Cara was facing me, and her basket of toys was behind her; she could see it over her right shoulder. She was standing, and, for the first time, she took a step. She has never tried this before, but she stepped back with her right foot to face herself towards her toys! I think that that was a real landmark.

Cara also had a nice and much-needed bath tonight and then blessedly went to sleep at about seven thirty, giving me and her daddy some much-needed time to lie around after our labors. We're certain that we'll hear from her again tonight, but it's been a real treat to just sit very still with my feet up.

11/27/05 (Sunday)

So last night Cara went to sleep early and we got a chance to lie around and watch TV and stuff. As Evie said last entry, we both assumed that Cara would wake up again, because it was way before her normal bed time. But in fact, Cara decided to go on a sleeping spree that did not end until over twelve hours later! I even got a chance to get up and have some breakfast and read before Cara's first bottle. We got ourselves up and showered while keeping Cara amused in her jumper. Evie gave Cara the second bottle of the day at around 10:30 or 11, and she actually went down for her nap as usual (I was surprised, since she'd slept so much the night before). Then Evie went out to the supermarket and I stayed home and had a snack, then got baby when she woke up. Cara and I watched Mommy come home from the nursery window, then the groceries got unpacked and we had lunch while Cara played in her saucer. Then it was off to Red Bank to see the grandparents. Evie and her mother went out and stocked the house down there with baby things: Cara now has piles more toys, bottles, a bottle warmer, and a cool Exersaucer-type product which allows Cara to slide back and forth in addition to swiveling in a circle. Baby was very good and sat in Great Grandma Emily's lap for a while, sucking on her new toys. She sat on the couch and tried out her new "saucer" and got held by Janet and George and Claire, and was generally agreeable the whole time. I took somewhat of a baby break and enjoyed some football and some James Bond.

We took baby home a little after seven and decided to start putting her to bed around eight. She seems to do well with an earlier bed time if last night is any indication, plus she seemed tired, and Ev and I have found that it's very nice to have more time to ourselves before going to bed in the evening. So we'll see how this works. It may just be a weekend thing (the earlier bed time, I mean), because on weeknights I had little enough time to see Cara awake when her bed time was nine.

All in all, it's been a great productive weekend, and we are all doing well. Ev and I are looking forward to our date nights, which will begin probably this coming Friday (for one thing, we can finally get out to a restaurant!). It will be interesting to see how baby does sleeping away from home without us, which she's never done before; we think it will be a good thing for her to do every once in a while. I think this is a very nice time for us, because baby is very aware and is generally good-tempered, and is really beginning to figure things out and wants to move, but she hasn't quite figured out how to move yet. I've been very frustrated that she couldn't quite crawl, but now I'm beginning to fully realize how much tougher it's going to be to keep her out of things once she's crawling, I'm willing to maintain the status quo for a while longer.

11/28/05 (Monday)

Well, Cara is still an awfully good baby. She was good for her grandpa today, and I believe she even took some baby food. This evening, she had more. Her daddy gave her some pears, and she got so into it that he had to make more. She finished those, as well.

This afternoon Cara played in her jumper and her bouncer and her saucer while I got schoolwork done and made dinner. I gave her a bottle around five thirty and she went to sleep, but I didn't let her nap then. She stayed up and we played with her toys in the living room all evening. The TV is on the floor at this point, because of our weekend projects, so Cara just sat on her playmat with her toys and we put on her favorite movie while we ate dinner. To our surprise, she did just fine! There was no repeat performance from Thanksgiving in which anyone tried to reach the television and fell over; she stayed sitting upright, unsupported, the whole time. She played with her toys and sucked on things and happily watched her movie. I watched her for a while, and I noticed that she spent a lot of the time with her arms out directly to her sides. I'm not sure what this was for, possibly balance or enthusiasm of some sort, but she seemed quite happy.

Steve gave Cara a bath and then I gave her her bedtime bottle a little before nine. Cara and I both got very sleepy, but eventually she finished the bottle and, after a little tiny communal nap, I put her down. It was about 9:15.

11/29/05 (Tuesday)

Yesterday morning and this morning, Cara had a tough time. It appears that while I hold her, for example, when I carry her around outside, she's fine. But she's not happy in the exersaucer or playing on the floor in her room. On both days, however, she did go down for her 10 A.M. nap easily.

In the afternoon, we run our errands or we take our walk to the park and everything is okay. Cara really does like the sense of movement these things bring. And when we get back home, she's more patient with the exersaucer or the toys in her room.

Today, among other things, I took Cara to the pediatrician for her second flu shot. Cara was an excellent girl as she was jabbed with the needle in her left thigh. She shrieked a couple of times but then cooled it. I had the chance to weigh her on the doctor's scale and wearing her diaper and her sleeper (which she wears all the time), she weighs eighteen pounds and four ounces.

This evening Cara once again watched her movie on her mat, with her toys--she spent a lot of time waving her bug toy around during the show--and did well in the evening. I agree with George from my own experience that generally Cara can be a little crabby in the morning, and is usually happier after her Second Bottle Nap. Tonight, baby was happy, but didn't like it when we ignored her: a perfectly fair reaction. According to Evie, George fed Cara the rest of her pears from yesterday and tried her on some peaches, which she didn't really like because they were different than pears. This evening I tried her on the peaches again, which she consented to eat this time, until her high chair became uncomfortable for her. She spent a lot of time in her jumper, jumping about, and then we decided to put her to bed, around 8:30 or so. She is now down--Evie put Cara down again, and once again seems to have nearly fallen asleep herself in the process. Ev took Cara to a few stores today, and baby had lots of fun in the shopping cart, looking around and smiling at passersby, some of whom stopped to talk to her and comment upon her prettiness.

11/30/05 (Wednesday)

In the morning, Cara and I went for a long walk around Edison as well as to the park and its swings. The day would have been a normal ordinary day if Claire, Evelyn's sister, hadn't called with interesting news. At Brookdale Community College, where she works, a couple of Tibetan monks are making a mandalla--a sand painting, which is a design full of meaning (to them). At 3 P.M., they are to destroy their work, also an act full of meaning.

When Cara arose from her nap at noon, I packed her up and together we drove down to Brookdale where we met Claire and dozens of admiring people, rode in elevators, and saw the monks in action. We took a picture with my cell phone that I hope comes out well. Cara and I also went to the Monmouth Museum, located on the campus, where Cara was enthralled by the toy train setup. I would say that for her, this was the high point, as well as watching dozens of little kids, some as young as 18 months running around at my feet.

We left Claire at the ceremony, just before 3 P.M. because Cara was very tired. Then we went over to great-grandma Emily's condo where we spent a pleasant hour and Cara had her third bottle of the day.

We drove back to Cara's house expecting to find it empty but lo and behold there was Evie, who had her very first hour alone in the house since she couldn't remember when. What a day!

I am really jealous that Cara got to see that sand painting done and I didn't. However, I DID have a good time being home alone. Cara and I had a good evening, too, though. She played in her saucer while I ate my dinner on the floor beside her, which was exciting. Eventually she made me take her out, and she had a good time grabbing at my sandwich and my book, which I was rudely trying to read. I gave her a bottle, then we played in her room. She really likes dumping everything out of her shape sorter bucket, and she is quite good at it.

At one point she lay down (really she fell over, but that's okay) and I picked up her old moth toy, the one with the music box in its head and the wings that light up. I told Cara it was something that she really liked when she was a baby, and I turned it on. Gazing up at it, she got a big smile on her face. Now that she's not a LITTLE baby anymore, though, she can do much more. She grabbed it and held it in her arms and found lots of parts she wanted to stick in her mouth.

I know Steve mentioned that Cara and I went shopping, but I can barely express how much she seems to like shopping carts. I stuck her in the seat of the one at Walmart and started pushing her across the parking lot, and she was just thrilled! She laughs and squirms around to see where we're going, and she hangs on to the bars with her little tiny hands, and it's just adorable. In the store she watches everyone and everything, and I am really pleased by the way she responds to strangers. She looks at them and smiles when the talk to her like a good, friendly baby. It was dark when we came out, and she still enjoyed her ride, probably looking at the lit up cars going by. I put her in her stroller then, and we went over to the Office Depot. It was a long walk for me, but we both did fine. I put a little blanket over her, so she was warm enough on the chilly breeze, and I was relieved that she wasn't upset by being kept out. In fact, I think she enjoyed going out at night to a strange place and feeling the wind on her face. It was an adventure.

When we got home I put her on the floor in the game room while I brought in all of the stuff. I admit that I didn't really give her any novel toys to play with, and that is probably why when I came in with her stroller I found her chewing on my shoe.

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