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7/7/05

It's Cara's birthday! She had a very nice birthday. We played in the morning, and she slept nicely, too. Of course, she was up till almost midnight last night (again!). It's funny, she had settled on 11:20 as bedtime, and then she started drifting earlier, but now she's just up, up, up.

Cara and I played a lot today. It's very fortunate, I think, that I've always had high tolerance for repetition. I've listened to Joseph at least four times today. The hippo and the lion have danced to it. Everyone dances to it. She sat up in the glider for a while, and we played a lot on her changing table. I have this arch over the changing table with toys hanging off of it; I've described it before. One of the toys is a sea horse, one is a crab, and the last is a turtle. I've taken the turtle off, although he's the best one, because it seemed to be overwhelming and blocked her view. Just two toys is better. Anyway, I put the arch over Cara's midsection, and the two toys hang just where her little flappers flap. She can look at them, especially when I prop her head up a little on a blanket, and they move when she moves her hands. I am 36% sure that she knows she's doing it; at least, she certainly looks at them a lot! In any case, even if she doesn't know about her hands, she's entertaining herself by moving the rattles around. She has a great time.

Last night I tried playing with Cara with what Steve calls her worm. It is a nice plush toy that my vice principal gave me, and it is probably really a butterfly, but it has a big, segmented body and little wings. When you pull on its tail, little lights light up in the wings and a music box inside the head plays "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." We're sure it's an actual music box, with the little cylinder and the teeth being plinked by the bumps, because you can feel the vibrations, and also because it slows down the way they do toward the end and it starts again wherever it left off when you restart it. I had never shown it to Cara, but Steve had. He puts it on and dances it around, and she watches. How long does this go on? "Until Daddy gets tired."

I didn't really think she would care about watching that worm, but she just lay there and stared at it until it stopped, and then I started it again and again and again. I haven't seen her get tired of it. I got tired of it. Her Aunt Claire worked the worm this afternoon, until at last Aunt Claire got tired. I was going to say that it was her only toy that lit up, but her mobile has lights, as does her Aquarium Wonders crib toy. Somehow, that worm really makes her happy. However, I can't call it her worm. I'll have to come up with some alternative.

This is the last journal entry that there'll be for a little while. The whole family is packing up and going to Florida tomorrow morning! My grandma has borrowed a travel crib, a baby bath tub, and something to rock her in. The rental car has an infant seat. I packed some formula in individual serving-sized bags. We've got seven outfits for the baby for two days. We're ready to go.

On Monday, Steve will be home with Cara. Her grandparents are coming, so he'll get to hang out with his parents. I will ask him whether he wants to write up our weekend experiences. Whichever of us it is, we'll be back on Monday!

7/8/05-7/11/05

7/11/05 1:05 pm (SG)

Day one of the Florida trip (7/8)

This is sure to be a long one, so settle in. All are now back safely from the state of Florida, and baby has now successfully completed her first plane ride. It went remarkably well, though it did not begin auspiciously. It was a rainy day in New Jersey on Friday when Ev and I got up and started getting ourselves ready to go. Evie's back had been stiff so she wanted to sneak out to the chiropractor. We wanted to give the baby a bath and change her outfit and feed her before starting off. It turned out that the chiropractic visit took a bit longer than anticipated, and I was too cowardly to attempt the bath myself, even when Ev's parents arrived, so we skipped it. Instead of really feeding the baby, we made a bottle to be administered in the car, threw our stuff into the trunk, and were off. I think Ev at one point described us as a "caravan." There was the stroller, the car seat, the diaper bag, our two carryon bags, two bags to check, and of course all of the people (Janet, Ev, Me, the baby, and George, who was driving us). The diaper bag and one carryon were brimming with toys, diapers, feeding apparatus, the baby carrying harness, baby's audio CDs, and even some of her board books (which, as it transpired, we never looked at).

So off we went. Baby had never been fed in the car before, and we usually don't drive so that someone sits right next to her, so it was a new experience. She smiled at Evelyn and generally was having a great time, but her bottle was dribbling all over the place whenever the car hit a bump. Eventually, the car hit traffic. We got up the Turnpike and were making our way to Newark (Liberty) Airport, but found our chosen entrance ramp blocked by a patrol car. Okay... We went another way, found another entrance--also blocked by a patrol car. Many things started going through our minds at this point: terrorist attack? flights cancelled? should I have taken that day off of work after all? And meanwhile we had to figure out where to drive. All of the main highways nearby were clogged with traffic, and the traffic station we were listening to had nothing to say about any problems at Newark. We made various calls, one to Claire who was to get on the internet and research the problem, one to the radio station (who still knew nothing), and eventually we found a way to contact a person at Newark airport--and found an AM radio station with information about the airport. It turned out there was a jackknifed tractor trailer which had caused the whole problem, and we jumped back on the turnpike and took the next exit off and found an unblocked way into the airport. Aaaahhhh.

Meanwhile, baby was not entirely happy to be in traffic, but was holding on nicely; however, Evelyn had remarked from the back seat that she thought perhaps baby had decided to have one of her very infrequent bowel movements. Once we got into the airport, we thought very little about this possibility as we got our bags checked and got up to the security line. At this point baby had to come out of her car seat because it had to go through the scanner, and Evelyn discovered the hard way that her surmise had been correct. There was some dripping and some staining, but once out of security Ev and Janet found a bathroom in which mommy and baby could both change their outfits and get cleaned up.

Our flight, we found, was slightly delayed, which was actually fortunate since we had been late getting in, and we then had time to get some lunch. Now on a normal plane flight, when they start boarding, there's always a point very early on in the boarding process where they call up any persons "needing assistance," such as people with young children. However, the boarding agent was calling numbered rows already, so we decided to elbow ourselves in. They weren't happy with us (apparently they were trying to get everyone on the plane very quickly and didn't want to assist people who needed assistance), but they let us on, and put "special handling" labels on the car seat and stroller so that they would be checked with the rest of the baggage.

The plane was big and fancy. There were TVs one for each passenger, and our seats (which Ev had cleverly switched not long before) were the three in the middle aisle right behind a bulkhead, so we had piles of foot room and a little row to ourselves. Cara was very good--amazingly good. Ev made sure to feed her as we were taking off (tastefully, with a blanket draped over the baby), so the baby would be swallowing during the pressure change. We played with her, and everyone took turns holding her, and Janet danced with her. Before we had even boarded the plane, a young boy had come up to the baby while Janet was holding her and played with the baby's arm. On the plane, the guy in the row next to us was winking at her, and another little boy came by and messed with Cara. She was more accepting of strangers than we had expected, which was good. The flight was smooth, and eventually we changed Cara on the floor right in front of us, and fed her again during landing.

Then it was off the plane and onto a shuttle bus which was to drive us to our rental car. The bus driver made some faces at the baby. We were dropped off right at the parking space where are rental car was supposed to be--which impressed me very much. So we got into the car, which was provided with a seat for Cara. The car seat was rear facing, but since it was not a "travel system" seat like ours, it was a little different. The baby sat in it OK, but by the end of the trip we had the suspicion that she didn't think it was very comfortable--perhaps the harness straps were chafing her neck a little.

Baby got to see her great grandmother and great aunt and uncle after that. When Great Uncle Arnie had seen Cara in Edison a few days earlier, she had been having an exceptionally cranky day--and indeed, that first evening was not a particularly happy one for her either. Cara was very good on the plane, but it was a long day of travel and new things, and by the evening she was a bit unhappy. However, she had some OK times before that, and Great Aunt Nancy even had a chance to hold her for a bit. Cara had lots of good stuff at her great grandmother's house, because through a local program called We Care, Anne was able to pick up a nice crib (very similar to Cara's Pack 'n' Play), a rocking chair/bouncer type of thing (very similar to Cara's bouncer), and a nice bath tub which may have been an even more comfortable size for her than her tub here at home. Cara also got some nice new toys, including a mirror with various toys stuck to the frame which can be attached to her crib and set at an angle so she can look at herself while lying down. I can't remember whether it was that first day or the second day that we gave Cara a bath, but she did have one and she was as happy as she usually is to be splashing around in it.

Anyway, Ev and I struggled with baby until a little past midnight, when Cara finally drifted off to sleep.

Day two of the Florida trip (7/9)

On the second day, Cara was able to get out and see her great grandfather. We took a ride out to the nursing home and Fred was very happy to see little Cara--as were several other people there, who complimented Cara on her looks (as many are wont to do). Cara was very good, though she did have to step out for a while to be fed in the car by her mommy. Fred made some noises at Cara and said she was adorable--and that it probably came from his side of the family.

Meanwhile, back at great grandma's house all of the old photo albums were out, and we found a picture of Evelyn when she was an infant which bore a strong resemblance to Cara. Cara was drooling a lot on this trip. She would make lots of nice bubbles on her lips and then long strings would dangle from her mouth onto people's shirts. I had one shirt on Friday which received three different doses of spit-up on the same shoulder (a new record?). As for the drooling, though, we began to speculate that this may actually be a sign of the beginnings of teething! It seems awfully early, but it is possible that those first baby teeth are working their way towards the surface. Janet attempted to rub Cara's gums and said it seemed to calm her. It's possible that some of Cara's occasional crankiness may be teething pains.

Also on this trip, Cara was developing her relationship with her hands--especially her right hand, which apparently has the exclusive contract with her mouth. Cara has attempted numerous times to cram her entire hand into her mouth--and finding that she can't, she gets upset. There was perhaps one time when, maybe only by accident, Cara managed to get a single finger into her mouth instead of a clenched fist. It all resulted in some very slimy hands, which then got wiped on other things. Cara is better with her hands all the time because of this, though, and I witnessed her at one point taking a good look at her fist before carefully bringing it up to her maw, as though she was lining it up and aiming first before taking the plunge.

Anne has a cat named Tuffy ("Mister Tuffy," as they say) who we believe was quite upset by the arrival of three strange people and one very confusing baby in his house. We spent the nights at Tuffy's house instead of Anne (lucky for Anne, who didn't have to worry about a crying baby waking her up!), and Tuffy spent most of his time under the bed. When any one of us looked under the bed, Mr. Tuffy was perfectly happy to creep up close so that we could rub his chin--and during the night, he very emphatically requested Janet's attention by tapping his paws on her and licking her arm--but mostly he was very shy. He took one wide-eyed look at the crying baby and decided he was needed elsewhere. Eventually, however, Tuffy's curiosity would overcome his fear, and he began to venture out and sniff at the baby, or stare very indecisively at her while she was lying on the floor having her diaper changed. On the second night, I awoke at around three in the morning to find Tuffy standing on his back feet with his front paws up on the top edge of the bassinet, looking in on Cara. It was as close as he ever really got to her.

Now there was supposed to be a hurricane on the second day of our trip, but it amounted to nothing more than a rather strong storm in the morning, and some windiness on the previous evening. The weather was actually quite mild, though it was never really sunny (on Sunday it was actually hotter in New Jersey than in Florida--though I'm sure Florida had more humidity: yuk!). We took a walk with baby on the second night to see Arnie's new house, but I don't think baby liked being out in the muggy weather. We spent most of our time in highly air-conditioned atmospheres, which was for the best.

One interesting thing which happened late this evening, I think, was that Evelyn made me clip a few of the baby's fingernails for the first time. Ev had clipped them a few times, but I had never attempted it, and I was very nervous. It went OK. I found it very difficult to push them down the whole way, possibly just because I was afraid I had a part of her finger in there.

Day three of the Florida trip (7/10)

Our last day in Florida was a bit short because we had to leave at around 5:30 to catch our return flight. We got ourselves up and went off to the Festival Flea Market (I think that's what it was called), where baby had a nice quiet time strolling up and down the aisles, and we saw some very cute baby turtles for sale in a small kiosk. We decided with some regret that a) baby would not appreciate baby turtles and b) there was no good way to get them back to New Jersey. We jumped back in our cars and headed off to see Fred. This time, Fred got out of bed and we all gathered in the living room of the nursing home and got baby on the floor for some play time. There were the normal stuffed rattle toys, but we also discovered that twirling eyeglasses are very fascinating--and we discovered that Great Uncle Arnie has the amazing ability to play several tunes by blowing air through his cupped hands! When Cara gets a little older, she will realize how incredible this talent is. Fred got to hold the baby for a little bit, as did Anne, and Evie handed out some pictures she had gotten printed before we left; Fred now has a smiling Cara face on the bulletin board in his room, and we'll be sending him more soon.

I've found that there are times when I can just look at Cara and smile, and she will smile back. On the plane ride to Florida, we had quite a good time smiling at each other. I've tried sticking my tongue out at her and at times have imagined that she is trying to stick hers back out at me. Janet and Evie have been doing this "How big is the baby? SOOOOOooooo big!" thing with Cara, and they think she was really responding to it while in Florida. Evie takes the baby by her hands and pulls her up to a sitting position, which seems to go well. I have a couple of things I do with Cara's legs, one of which has probably already been mentioned here. I simply pump her legs up and down alternately while saying "baby legs, baby legs, baby legs!" but the part that really seems to amuse her is when I stop, put her legs down, then pick them up again and start over. I also do a kind of bellows type of motion, where I take both of her legs at once and push them up, then pull them both out to full extension again, while making breathing noises (whoosh, whoosh). I also have tried this thing where I stick up my forefingers on both my hands so Cara can see them, then bring them together very quickly and take away one of my hands while popping up the second finger on my other hand, as though the one finger has traveled to the other hand. I don't know if she gets it, but she pays attention anyway. I think that on this trip my (sappy part coming up) love for Cara has deepened and strengthened to a large extent. Everyone was so happy to see her and it's so nice to be able to show her to people.

I forgot to mention, because it is not really baby-apropos, that I very much enjoyed tinkering around on the piano in Anne's house while I was there. My keyboard at home is nice, but it is electronic, so it's nice to hear a real piano sound like that.

Anyway, after we left Fred, we had a quick dinner and did the last of our packing. I found that Cara's Florida bassinet was so similar to her New Jersey Pack 'n' Play that I was able to collapse it and pack it up very easily. All of baby's toys, which had found their way into many rooms of the house, were picked up and put into bags. Another bottle was made for her trip back to the airport (though it turned out that for some reason Cara really really didn't like it when I tried the bottle on her in her car seat, so we gave up on that very quickly). I had gotten to drive our rental car around that day and finally felt that I had the hang of it (the trunk button was on the door!), but now it was time to take it back and be on our way. We made it to the Avis place and onto a shuttle bus, whose bus driver was very talkative but did not try to make faces at the baby. I said the stupidest thing I have said in many weeks, because when the bus driver asked me: "Where to, young man?" I responded uncertainly: "The airport?" When in fact what he wanted to know was what airline we were using. Then at the baggage check place (which, by the way, was very automated, much like the self checkout lanes they have in grocery stores), while I was cutting the old label off of our bag, the woman behind the counter asked, "are you going to have trouble going through security with that?" I, thinking she must be referring to the stroller, said: "You mean the baby?" When in fact she was talking about the little Swiss army knife I was holding in my hand. It was pointed out that I could put it in the bag we were checking and avoid any trouble, so I did.

We made it through security again. Ev and I noticed that several people during our trip mistook baby for a boy, asking questions such as "how old is he?" We found this confusing, not because we think Cara looks particularly girlish (her hair, after all, has not grown in enough for pigtails yet), but because we had her dressed in pink for the whole trip. Doesn't anybody go by the pink = girl, blue = boy thing anymore? I remember that I actually was against buying pink clothing for the baby just because it was a girl, and apparently I was right because it doesn't work after all.

I find that I pay attention to other people's kids more than I used to. Before, my policy was to simply avoid them. But now I look at other kids with a "father's eye." I noticed, for instance, a mother and her young daughter in the terminal as we were waiting for our boarding call (at the time, Cara, Ev and Janet were all in the ladies room, this time changing the baby but not having to change anyone else--only one bowel movement this trip). The mother made that little girl giggle uncontrollably for about ten minutes straight. She was just doing some goofy thing like leaning forward and saying something, and the girl thought it was hilarious. It's great how when they're young, kids will laugh at stuff you do even if you don't have any toys or any special talents. I for instance find that I can just kind of wave my fingers in front of Cara's face and it will get her undivided attention.

It eventually dawned on me that this kid was going to be on our flight, too. In fact, I think there may have been as many as three young children on the flight, including ours. It was a much smaller plane than the one we took to Florida. The first plane Cara was on was a big 767. This one was a 737, with a maximum of about 150 people on it. The first plane had had lots of empty seats since we were flying into a hurricane area (and Continental had offered people to change their tickets with no penalty because of the storm), but this one was packed. We had the three seats in one row again, but this time we were in the middle of the plane, with no wall in front of us, and not much room to move. So here we all are sitting on this plane, not moving, and the pilot gets on and explains how we are going to taxi to the end of the runway, but we won't be able to take off for another half an hour due to heavy air traffic. At this point, the little girl I had seen earlier in the terminal (who was now sitting two rows behind us) started to cry very, very loudly, and then another baby started to cry, and then Cara, having been egged on by all the noise, started to cry as well. It was a precious moment. Cara at that point was quite hungry, because she hadn't had her bottle in the car and Ev had been holding off feeding her until takeoff so that the baby would be swallowing while the air pressure was changing. Ev waited until we were near the estimated takeoff time and started feeding Cara. Cara had actually been very patient for a baby who usually gets fed much more quickly, even taking time off to stare between the seats at the people sitting behind us. Even as we were taking off, baby fell asleep. You may not believe this, but she pretty much slept the whole flight. The flight was from around 9 to around 11, which is usually not a time that Cara sleeps, but she was out like a light. Evie fed her once more before the flight was over, but when she had to move Cara to get up and leave the plane, that baby was out. She was out the whole time we walked through Newark, met George, got our luggage, and found the car. She didn't wake up when Evie strapped her into the car seat. That baby got home and we laid her down in her own crib, and darned if she didn't sleep through the night as well. What a good baby.

Evie will probably post after this and tell a bit about the trip from her perspective, and hopefully she'll get some bits that I missed.

7/11/05 (still SG)

Now for today! Today we all got up and Evelyn went off to a class for school (something about balanced literacy). Baby and I hung out and my parents arrived to help out for the day. Surprisingly, I was actually able to do a few chores in the morning before they arrived, because baby was still a bit sleepy! Then my parents helped as I gave the baby a bath for the first time. I had witnessed many baths, and put my hand in a bit, but had never bathed the baby without Evie. I had a bit of trouble getting the water the right temperature, but baby enjoyed her bath as usual. We decided that it was time to start trying baby on some of her bigger clothes (3-6 months), and right now she's wearing a nice onesie that says "milk and quackers" on it and has pictures of cows and ducks. It is not pink.

After her bath, baby had a bottle from her grandparents, and then she sat nice in her bouncer while we had some lunch. She actually even went to sleep in her bouncer, again. Cara also had some time sitting up on the couch and looking at her jungle gym. Meanwhile, daddy went off to change the gerbil and deal with a big load of laundry (the fun aftermath to any vacation), and start on this huge journal entry. A little after 2, after Cara had gone on a little walk, the parents had to go. They left baby nicely asleep in her crib. At 2:30, which was around the time I figured I'd have to feed her again, baby woke up and started going, so I made her her second bottle of the day. Altogether she's had around 5 and a half ounces of formula today, which isn't a whole lot, but after 2 and a half ounces from my bottle she was out again. Now Evie is back home again and has brought a Burl Ives CD with her which the baby is listening to. Baby and I had some quality playtime together and now Evie is playing with her. I may have to go off this evening and mow the lawn...

That pretty much covers today! Now I'm going to go see if I can get some pictures from our Florida trip up on the site.

7/12/05 (George S)

This is grandpa, on the first full day of his new career, taking care of his beautiful granddaughter while his beautiful daughter gets on with her life as an eighth grade English teacher.

So, things to learn: what Cara likes; what Cara expects; what Cara needs. And also, I come in at a somewhat difficult time: the breastfed baby has to take sustenance from a bottle and struggles.

But today, it's about learning what Cara likes. It's clear that the battle over the bottle is going to go on for a while. Cara does like music. She likes people singing to her (even me). She loves her little purple hippo. She loves having her feet played with. But you can do these wrong, or in the wrong order, or something else may be bothering her. The language barrier is a high one.

So what we did on the first full day of my new career is we walked, that is, I walked and Cara mostly slept in her stroller.

Evelyn brought her friend, Ida, home for lunch and we had a pleasant talk while Cara sat in her bouncer and watched and listened.

Overall, I would say the day was a success--Cara slept a lot, she had a lot of fun later in the day as we listened to that little girl favorite--Annie (I sang all the parts), and generally played happily in the afternoon.

7/13/05

It's Evelyn again! (Did you miss me?) It feels very weird that I haven't done this for such a long time. I'll try to catch up. I confess that I was very nervous about our trip to Florida. I thought about all the times that Cara was upset about strangers holding her and all of the times she got cranky when we were away from home. I read about babies who would only sleep in their own cribs in their own, familiar houses. I thought back to all of the crying babies I've seen on planes. I had to admit that my Cara would probably be one of them.

Cara was really wonderful, though. She was good on the way down to Florida, and she slept on the plane the whole way back. She slept through the nights that we were there, though she really didn't sleep independently during our Florida days. I had a really good time spending so much time with her with other people. It's very different from spending time by yourself with the baby.

Getting through security was fun. You have to take off your shoes, of course, so I was barefoot because I wear sandals. We had to take the baby out of her comfortable car seat and put it and the folded stroller through the metal detector while I carry the baby through. She was kind of mellow and snuggly both times and of course everyone always wants to know how old she is. The first time was more dramatic because of her leakage (onto my nice white shirt!).

We have six poppers for Cara, and each goes in a specific place. The panda popper (which came out of the panda cake) goes in her car seat with her. The car seat had to go through the metal detector. When I took the baby out and went through to the other side, my mother took the receiving blanket out of the car seat and the guard took it to put it through, which it had to do upside down. "Her bobo!" The woman exclaimed. Mom and Steve were sonfused. "Her bobo!" the woman said, handing them the panda popper, which was thus rescued from a no doubt hideous fate.

It meant a lot to me to get to bring the baby to see my Grandpa Fred in the rehabilitation center. He is very weak and not vibrant or enthusiastic, so I think Grandma was afraid we were upset by his reaction, but I knew that he was glad to see us all. I made sure to always try to position the baby so that he might be able to see her, while everyone stood around talking, and I know that he was looking because sometimes he would just say, "She's so beautiful!" in the middle of everything else. That was worth any number of diaper changes in airport restrooms! He was not effusive, but I know he loves me and my baby.

So, I spent three days taking care of Cara with my husband and my mother. Then, on Monday, I left Cara with Steve and his folks. On Tuesday and Wednesday, she stayed here with my father. I haven't spent a day with my daughter, alone, since last Thursday! I'm not really sure Thursday counts, because Claire came up in the afternoon. It feels very strange. I know that some women have a lot of trouble going back to work, but I haven't felt that way. It might be just because I know it was just these three days, but I think I'll be okay in September. It also might be because I know I'm leaving her with my daddy. We'll see.

I am going to start giving Cara a bottle in the middle of the day, I think. She gave my father a really hard time, and I feel bad about it. I cannot allow her to treat people so badly when they try to give her bottles! I don't really know what I can do about it, but at least I can try to get her used to having one during the day.

For the past two days, I have gotten up around five fifteen because of my back. It gets tight during the night and wakes me up, but it's fine after I shower. I went to the chiropractor today and will go again on Friday, if Cara feels like it. Five fifteen is pretty close to when I'll be getting up during the school year. I have had a lot of time this week because this class starts an hour later than school will, but I've had lots of time to eat breakfast and read the paper in addition to feeding Cara. I have been used to getting to school very very early, but I suppose I can probably adjust that if I want to feed her in the morning. The thing is, she hasn't been getting up until late--I would not be willing to leave here later than about seven thirty, and she's been sleeping until then. I wonder whether, in September, I should start imposing a schedule on her waking time instead of just letting her sleep until she wakes up.

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