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4/14/05

Cara was very awake yesterday, which was good and bad--it's good that she was more awake, but it seems that for a lot of her waking period she is kind of mad. Yesterday the baby ended up going out in the stroller for the first time--and the second time, and the third time. We discovered that Cara really stays quiet when she's being wheeled around, or even when you stand in one place and wheel the stroller back and forth. The stroller works pretty darn good. If you want to shield baby from the sun, the combination of the infant carrier canopy and the stroller canopy make a complete dome over her. Janet S. took Cara out for the first time and met a family on our block with a baby of a very similar age--we may have to start socializing with them. I got over to Ev's school again to do some more paper exchanging and to get lunch and found that when I returned the baby was off on its first strolling adventure. Cara was very fussy during the day and continued her bad feeding habits. This, plus Evie's exhaustion and her built-up anxieties, combined to make her a bit stressed out--understandable given the stress on her body lately, and how very patient she's been with the baby. So she rested for a good part of the afternoon and the baby got lots of stroller rides. Ev's dad came up to make hamburgers for the evening, my mom came up to help out, and we watched a bit of a Nets game (which, I learned this morning, they lost). My mother, a confirmed sports-hater, did some reading. We received a very nice little potted flower arrangement from my aunt, uncle and cousins (thanks guys!), along with a pretty cool stuffed giraffe that rattles--we certainly didn't have a giraffe yet, so it's an excellent addition to her array of toys.

Ev was very good during the evening and pretty much single-handedly took care of the baby, leaving me very drowsy and my mother feeling useless. Cara was up a couple of times during the night, but she apparently fed much better, for longer, quieter intervals, and Evie changed her without much fuss. This morning my mother got to be good and useful, as she washed the baby and put on her cute yellow "busy bee" outfit. We tried her in the Kick & Play bouncer, and it seems to work really good. We don't have the batteries in, so it doesn't make noises or vibrate like it's supposed to, but it rocks really well, so that when the baby starts stretching or shifting in the chair, it bounces and rocks and calms her down. Good deal!

Dad is on his way to spend some time with Cara--it's been a while since he's seen her last now, and he will be glad to be back. It's only having to take care of his dog Rusty (my "brother," as Evelyn says) that has kept him away. And now he's here! So that might do it for today's entry...

4/15/05

Well, Cara was good and awake for a long time yesterday, and Dad got to see her with her eyes good and open. He took some more pictures which I'm going to have to put up in my photo section, some of Cara on the Kick & Play, which seems to be working very well. Grandmom and Grandpop Genzano took baby for a walk in her stroller, and they also let Ev and I go for a walk ourselves in the great weather--this exhausted Evelyn, but it was very nice that we got the opportunity to hang out by ourselves for a little bit. Dad was able to show us a DVD of the first footage he'd taken of Cara in the hospital. Ev thinks it's the only home movies she's ever seen of herself, and it's been quite a while since I've seen myself for extended periods on video footage. Weird. The highlight was some footage of me changing Cara's diaper for the first time--it was very tastefully done and was pointed mainly at Cara's upper body, so we only really know what's going on by the comments of the people in the room, like "Whoa!" or "That's an interesting smell." When the camera does stray too far down, my father used his video editing skills to cover over the naughty bits with a giant blue dot. Ha!

In the evening, I made dinner for a change and Cara slept in her Kick & Play in the kitchen. Later that night I was reading a passage in our latest James Herriot book to Evie, in which Herriot's wife gives birth to their second child--a daughter. This happened not long after WWII, in the late forties, and Herriot drives his wife to a local nurse's house and then goes home to pace around and be really nervous. He gets called with the good news, then commits a social faux pas by actually going to see his wife and child very soon after the birth. He is severely chided for his crazy behavior. Herriot, who spends a good part of his time happily birthing calves, goats and pigs, always finds that his own newborn children look strange and malformed--to the further irritation of the nurse. Then he proceeds to get utterly drunk with his friends and loses almost all the money in his wallet buying drinks for everyone. An interesting contrast to our experience...

Cara was pretty good last night and woke up only a couple times. Evelyn is getting really expert at changing and feeding the baby all by herself--I think I went over 24 hours without changing a single diaper (though I just did one this morning which was very exciting, as it featured some peeing on the changing table and a change in clothing). Cara has this habit of getting very angry when she stops feeding, even though she seems to be the one stopping it. She got incredibly angry and loud yesterday in the afternoon for no discernible reason, but she calmed down eventually. She had many wonderful moments of "calm alertness" with her eyes open, looking around--it was very cool to see her looking at the hanging toys on her Kick & Play.

This morning we are about to take Cara off to her follow-up visit at the pediatrician. Here's hoping she holds off on her bodily functions while on the doctor's table! Later in the afternoon, Aunt Claire will finally get to come visit the baby. This will be her first time since the baby was born that Claire will have seen her--she has been ill and unable to visit. We'll all be glad to see her!

Update: We're back from the pediatrician. My mom left when we left, after having helped us out a lot again for a day and a half. Now we are all alone, just the family. Ev is napping with the baby to try to recoup her strength for the "night shift." Baby did very well at the pediatrician, having gained four ounces: she's now 6 pounds, 1 ounce. Maybe some time later today we'll take a crack at oiling her up to try to help her dry skin. Most babies have dry skin, but you don't want to slather them with chemicals to try to fix it. We may try to stick her in her play yard later as well, to get her used to it and to get her used to lying flat to sleep--she's been doing a lot of sleeping sitting up. Meanwhile I have posted some pictures from Grandpop's visit yesterday.

4/16/05

Yesterday was our day with the training wheels off. Nobody stayed the night, though we did have some visitors. I had already realized that it was our mothers who were allowing us or helping us to get chores done, and with no one here except each other to watch the baby, Ev and I got very little done. I watched a couple of Doctor Who stories with the baby sitting next to me--she didn't really watch, since her eyes were closed pretty much the whole time. I'm hoping to make a habit of watching things like this with her while Evie takes a nap, because usually I almost never get a chance to watch Doctor Who or Outer Limits episodes, and I think it will be healthy to inculcate Cara. I had to run out to the store because it turned out the new sack of diapers we opened was a little too roomy for Cara--interesting, because the weight specifications on the packaging are exactly the same as the other brand that does fit. Later in the afternoon, as predicted, Claire stopped by along with Janet S. Claire gave the baby some very fancy and nicely illustrated story books and we had some Chinese food and watched the Nets. Claire and Janet left at halftime, Evie went up to bed, and I watched the thrilled conclusion of the basketball game with Cara at my side (eyes still closed). It was a great game, because the Nets won. They only have a few regular season games left, and it's a toss-up whether they'll make it to the playoffs. But they beat those Toronto Raptors all right.

So the last few nights hadn't been that bad, and I had hoped last night would continue in that vein, with the baby waking up a couple of times, getting fed, going back to sleep. It was not to be. Cara decided to keep us up all night, and she did a pretty good job of it. Since I was not the one feeding her, I did have moments where I got into a deep sleep, but I was consistently awakened from them to a state of very disoriented drowsiness. Eventually I took the baby down to the living room and laid with her on the couch to give Evie some much-needed minutes of sleep before the sun came up.

Evie is also now slightly worried about the way the baby breathes from time to time--in fact, Cara's loud breathing is one of the things that kept her up last night. I don't think it's a big problem--I think we are in worse shape than the baby--but it's true that she does at times sound a bit labored. Cara herself doesn't seem at all troubled by these respiratory noises, but we contacted the pediatrician and they suggested timing how many breaths the baby takes in a minute: if it's over fifty, we are to call them back.

I believe Cara's aunt Sarah was going to visit today. I'm going to see about setting up our play yard as mentioned yesterday. If I remember anything else that happened yesterday, I will add it in.

Oh, yeah: I got a nice package from my aunt Linda with stuff in it for baby Cara, including some nice clothes and a teething toy that's shaped like a hippo and makes interesting, almost wind chime type noises.

4/17/05

Sarah visited yesterday and she and Evelyn took baby for a walk in the stroller. It was for both of them their first time using the stroller. They had a nice long walk around the neighborhood while daddy watched animated Star Wars cartoons on the internet. Earlier in the morning we had used the baby monitor for the first time, with the baby. I had actually tried using the baby monitor with Ev while she was on bed rest, with partial success, since whatever she said was fairly audible without the monitor. Even with the baby, it takes a little practice to get used to what you should expect to hear and what is abnormal. Coupled with our first official use of the baby monitor was our first official use of the crib--baby laid in it for a while. I also tried laying her in the play yard, which I set up in the living room. We'll have to keep trying that, but the two times I tried it yesterday she didn't seem to like it. The ideal position for laying her down would be something firm but not uncomfortable, flat, but also a small surface area. I think Cara feels more comfortable when she doesn't have a lot of room around her--she has acres of space in the crib and not much less in the play yard.

We also tried her in the crib at night (our second night without motherly aid!), with ourselves down the hall in the bedroom. It was weird sleeping for the first time in days with all of the bedroom lights out--we'd been told babies tend to shut their eyes and sleep more when lights are on, so we keep them on wherever she's supposed to be sleeping. Cara was in the crib for a while, then Ev decided to move her to the car seat again. We kept her in the nursery all night except for her few feedings, using the baby monitor. It seemed to work out--we had a better night than the night before, anyway. I myself slept through a good long chunk of it, all the way till 5 in the morning, when I took the baby and tried to get her to go back to sleep while finishing a novel which I'd bought in the hospital gift shop.

Today my parents are going to swing up here and help with some lawn work, and maybe my mom will stay the night again to help allay any fears we may still have about the baby's breathing (I don't think there's anything to worry about).

4/18/05

As promised, my parents came by yesterday to hang out and do stuff. With my dad, I mowed my lawn for the first time this year and spread some crab grass preventer while Ev and Mom took Cara for another walk in the stroller. I used a hand-operated spreader, which was pretty fun. Cara's feeding habits have not improved; in fact, yesterday into this morning she has been eating many very small meals, instead of one fairly long one every few hours. "Snacking" is a bad habit but for the time being we may have to simply let her have her way. Dad took the opportunity to hold, speak to, and of course film Cara again--she will be a very well-documented baby. Also we watched some Star Trek, but Cara was unfortunately not present--I'll have to show her a good episode one of these days. I notice that she flaps more with her right arm than with her left--does this mean she's right-handed? Sometimes I think that her flapping has grown more purposeful, as if at times she really is trying to grab a hold of something. Her "rooting" reflex is in full force--this is when a baby turns her head and opens and closes her mouth kind of like a fish, in the attempt to find her mother's breast. Cara is very good at that. Also we had some nice moments with her being calmly alert yesterday, and I set up the rotating bears that hang above her play yard so she could have a good look at them. She does much better in the play yard now than she did the first couple of times. Cara likes being walked around the house--that always calms her down. I've been describing the different rooms of the house to her--I'm sure it's sinking in.

Later in the evening we watched a fantastic Nets game, in which the Nets took over and didn't look back, destroying Allen Iverson and the 76ers. We decided to let Mom go home and go the night by ourselves, but she left us with a full course dinner, which we prepared and enjoyed. Our night was not fantastic, as Cara was still kind of in her "snacking" mode and woke us up a few times, but it could have been worse. We tried the baby monitor again, but I think it makes the both of us too nervous--all those noises without a visual to go with them, so we're always wondering whether it's a normal noise or not. I'm sure once we're more confident parents the baby monitor will be a wonderful tool--it's incredibly good at picking up every little sound, including the baby's breathing. But for most of last night, we went back to having the baby in the car seat in the room with us. Now I have baby back in the play yard listening to soothing sounds of running water. It's part of the electronic gadgetry that comes with the play yard. It also does lapping water and kind of jungle sounds, and it plays a couple of tunes. Today nobody is supposed to be visiting, so our goal is to get some chores done. We'll see how we do.

It was so nice yesterday that we kept a lot of our windows open. Last night in the middle of the night we heard a cat screaming its lungs out and I quickly rushed to the conclusion that our cats were in the basement trying to murder each other for some reason. I ran down and burst into the basement only to find the two cats staring up at me in mild surprise. We must have been hearing some cat outside coming in through the open window. This morning Buster got herself somehow on the sill of the kitchen window, and didn't seem to know how to come down. She also clearly did not want my help, but I helped her anyway. I was having horrible pictures in my head of the window screen coming out and Buster plunging out, down one storey and onto the back yard. I thought having a baby would make us think less about the cats, but if anything, I seem to be more nervous about their safety. In a way, having the cats was almost practice for the baby.

When Ev was carrying Cara in her belly, it didn't seem real to me that we were having a baby. I figured once it came out and we were looking at it, I would be forced to see the reality of our child and feel some strong connection to it. It's strange, but though of course I love Cara very much and want to take care of her and raise her right, I don't feel the familial bonds that I thought I would feel. When I look down at her and think, "this is my daughter," it's more as if I'm trying to convince myself of that fact than anything else. I guess we're still growing into parenthood.

Both of our parents have suggested we find time to spend out without the baby for a while--a date night, a trip to the movies, something of that sort. It's a great idea, but probably in order to do it we'll either have to keep it to a very short outing or buy ourselves a breast pump, because this baby gets hungry a whole lot. We learned about breast pumps in our classes, and how you have to sterilize any bottles you're going to put the milk in, and how it first has to go into a plastic bag with the date labeled on it. It all sounds very complicated. But we may have to buckle down and do it soon, because in about a month from now an incredibly life-changing event is going to occur to us: Star Wars Episode III will be released in theaters. I don't want to miss that! I don't want Cara to go too long without experiencing Star Wars either, but we'll definitely want to start her on the original trilogy before we show her the prequels. I am really looking forward to the prospect of showing Cara all the great movies I have seen and all the great books that are out there. There are such a lot of great things for her to see.

Later: Well, most of the day has gone by. I went out to the supermarket to do some shopping and Ev did some chores of her own. We took the baby for a nice walk out in the stroller, and I went out and got Evie a treat--a Slurpee. Then I got a call from work--turns out there's one department with lots of projects and they have approached me to do some "freelance" hours while I'm out of the office. I figure, what the heck. We'll see if they can cough up the software they need me to have. Then I proceeded to sit around for the rest of the day watching Star Trek and stuff. Cara I think may have absorbed some of it. She spent lots of time in the play yard and lots of time looking around at stuff today. I'll probably feel better doing some amount of work from home, since all this TV is making me feel like a lump. On the one hand we both need to be here to take care of the baby, but on the other hand it's kind of like an early retirement--temporary, of course. And this has turned into a ridiculously long entry, so I'll say good night!

4/19/05

It's been a busy day, though not so busy in the baby-related sphere. Ev and I are getting a bit more confident about doing the things that we used to do, and not just sitting around looking at the baby all day. We did some cleaning of the house, some tidying, and Ev's dad George came over for a bit so that we could both go out and do some shopping for various home-related items, such as a nice pole lamp for our office, which I set up when we got home. We took the baby for another stroller walk, this time straying as far as a nearby playground before turning around. I'm ridiculously careful when using the stroller, and Ev has to instruct me on how to go over curbs, but it doesn't seem to matter how bumpy the track is, the baby sleeps through it all. Cara had a pretty good night last night and Evie has expressed the hope that tonight will be as good. We put her in the crib all night with the baby monitor on, with the volume turned down. She woke up a few times but it wasn't too bad. Ev is looking forward to getting her nice glider chair so it will be easier (and most importantly, more comfortable for us) to get the baby back to sleep after she's been fed--we both of us had some time last night doing laps in the nursery to get the baby back to sleep.

I went out to vote today (on the local school board) and came back with two Slurpees (are we becoming addicted??), and now we are settling down for the evening and I'm looking forward to a very important Nets game, their second to last of the regular season. They still have a chance to get into the playoffs, but they could also still screw it up.

Our cherry tree which we have out back is blossoming. It has been absolutely beautiful outside for a few days now. I should have watered the lawn today, but it wasn't one of the chores I got to, unfortunately. My allergies are not getting any better, but the cats are very happy now that our living room windows are open, and they visit them very often to look out at the trees--and no doubt the birds. One of the other things we did today was get a new bird feeder which will hopefully work better than the kind we're using now. The one we have now has little plastic coverings which can be dismantled by dastardly squirrels, and once when one of those covers was off a tiny bird actually became trapped inside the feeder--it was only the utter fear produced by my standing nearby which gave it the will to escape. This new one has no plastic parts and no openings big enough for a bird to fit in, and hopefully the birds coming in to feed on it will give our cats hours of amusement.

Ev and I are both worried about the baby, but in different ways. I think I am more worried that someone always be paying attention to the baby, whereas Evie is more worried about the specific behavior of the baby (such as whether her feeding habits are normal or whether her breathing is ok). I don't know. I've noticed that we are both of us becoming more accustomed and inured to the baby crying--not that we don't care, it's just that it doesn't make us as panicky. One of the things I did today was put some batteries in this cool acquatic toy we got which can attach to the side of the crib. It plays songs, does watery sounds, and has a little acquatic scene with plastic fish that can swim, a clam which the baby can make open and close its mouth, and a starfish that twirls when you press a lever. There are also lights in different places that go off and on and bubbles that shoot up through the water. Should be interesting to see how Cara reacts to the whole thing.

Cara has the unfortunate tendency (mentioned in an earlier post) of peeing when I am changing her diaper. She doesn't do it every time I change her diaper, but she doesn't seem to ever do it whenever anyone else is changing her diaper. Hmm. I find that Cara is continually developing crud around her eyes, which I am continually wiping out with little cotton balls. It's green. Other than that, she's an adorable little minx; she gets such contemplative looks on her face sometimes, and I never get tired of watching her look around at things. She has made the unfortunate mistake of trying her rooting reflex on my own chest, and I've had to tell her that unfortunately there's nothing there for her. Evie has made the confusing choice of calling her "kitty-kat" sometimes, which she also used to use on me, and of course on the cats. I have gotten into the habit of calling the cats "kitty-face," which is ridiculous I know. It was the beginning of my long descent into cutesy language and romantic comedies and other very unmanly things. In high school and college I was all into gruesome horror movies, action flicks, heavy music and dark literature. Now I sometimes wonder if living in a household entirely devoid of other males (for God's sake, even the gerbil is a girl) is...affecting me. Anyway, I call Cara "babyface." I'd better go watch the basketball game--maybe that will help.

4/20/05

The last day of week two! It was a busy one. Today Cara's great aunt and uncle (Sally and Ronnie) came over to visit, along with my parents and brother and sister-in-law. Ev and I were actually able to clean the house rather well, which I hadn't imagined we'd have the strength to do at two weeks after the baby's birth. We celebrated my mom's birthday with several cakes and lots of good carryout food from various restaurants (no cooking for the new parents!). My dad suggested we have a second baby for his birthday (he was kidding). Everyone enjoyed holding the baby for a little bit. Then Sally and Ronnie left and Mom set up our baby bath system, and Evie scrubbed up Cara good. It was a traumatic experience for Cara, but she made it through, and now Jim and Sarah are taking her for a walk. Those two have interesting times ahead of them, as they just got a contract on a condo.

Ev and I had ourselves an amazing night last night, because Cara decided she was very hungry. Ev would feed her, we'd put her down, then she'd wake up crying and want to be fed again. This went on for a very long time. We had her in the crib for a while, then tried the car seat. As long as we were standing there, it seemed, she would be quiet and look sleepy. But as soon as we left to try to get some rest, she woke up bawling. I suggested we create scarecrow versions of ourselves to stand and watch over her. I also asked Cara if she was trying to make weight or something, as she seemed to just eat and eat last night.

People say Cara has long fingers. I've decided I very much prefer the type of clothing she has that snaps up, rather than the ones that have to slip over her head. The snapping is much easier. Fortunately the couple of baby outifts Sally brought as presents for us are the snap-up kind. I am waiting for Cara's cord to fall out. According to the literature it should be any day now, and it does look different than it used to, almost as if it's starting to slide down. Once she gets that out we can try putting her on her tummy (under supervision, of course) and see if she can work on the crawling--or at least being able to lift her head up without assistance.

All the green stuff is sprouting on the trees, and my allergies were very bad last night--at one point I was holding the baby trying to get her to sleep (I also tried with a Pooh hand puppet at one point--the bear could not convince her to sleep either), and Evie was wiping my nose for me. How romantic. It is also getting much hotter. I have been very unwilling to stop wrapping Cara up in blankets as we have been doing from the start, because I can't forget how her temperature was always low when they read it at the hospital. But the room temperature is supposed to be 72 degrees, and the baby should only wear about one more layer than the people watching her are wearing, so it does make sense to take off the blankets. Also, apparently SIDS may be connected to overheated children. So Evie convinced me to drop the blankets. In fact, at different points last night we tried unsnapping Cara's outfit in the hopes that if she cooled down she would sleep (that didn't really work either). We've even stopped putting her cute little hats on her head.

Last night the Nets won, walking right over a team which had beaten them every other meeting this season, which is great; but they really need to also win their game tonight (their last regular season game) to be solidly in the playoffs. Excitement!

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